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Chantell
Beginner November 2022 Ontario

Planning a Wedding, while a loved one has Terminal Cancer

Chantell, on September 20, 2022 at 12:41 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 3
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Last year, my Grandmother was diagnosed with cancer & at the time we weren't sure if she would be with us. From that moment my Fiancée & I decided to get married a year earlier by city hall with our close family. I am joy to say Grandma is feeling better then ever.

Fast forward 7 months and my Mother is diagnosed with Stage 4 Terminal Cancer. The (actual) wedding is on Nov 5, 2022 and I am afraid she may not be with me on that special day. She should be there seeing me walk down the aisle, exchange the wedding bands, etc.

I never thought I'd plan a wedding and (maybe) a funeral. Doctor's give us weeks but, will those weeks turn to Months, I don't know.

I feel guilty going on with the wedding, but one thing my mom has taught me from a reasonable age is my life goes on, and when she first got diagnosed she turned to me and told me no matter the outcome the wedding will go forward. I will dance, laugh, drink & no tears or she will come to smack me (her words).

I should be over the moon & a bit stress with the wedding around the corner, but I am filled with guilt, sadness, anger & 100% stress.

And in her honor I will be donating to the Cancer society instead of giving favors to the guests.

3 Comments

Latest activity by Hank, on September 21, 2022 at 18:06
  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute

    I am sorry to hear you go through this. It is absolutely normal to feel guilt and frustration so don't beat yourself up over that. But because your mom wants you to move forward, I would honour her wishes and continue planning. Bring her into the fold if that's a possibility so that she feels like she is a part of the process.

    Not to derail this into a medical discussion but have you spoken with other doctors to get a second opinion? Our healthcare system is not perfect and often times, hearing another professional weigh in their expertise can really change the course of things.

    • Reply
  • KELLY
    Featured October 2023 Ontario
    KELLY ·
    • Dispute

    I am so sorry to hear you are going through all of this. If your mother wants you to continue with the planning then do it, make her a part of the planning.

    Sending love, light and strength Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Carine
    Featured September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
    • Dispute

    So glad your grand mother recovered and I am so sorry to hear about your mother.

    As someone who lost their mother it is not easy. I don't think she would want you to cancel your wedding and I am sure she is loving every moment helping you plan for the big day. Cherish every moment you have with her until the hard time comes. I am hoping she will make it on your big day, it is important for you and as well as her. But know that she will leave this earth knowing you are loved and taken care of and she can relax.

    • Reply

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