Planner or coordinator?

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It sounds like you have the majority of things figured out! Honestly once you have the major vendors booked there isn't a whole lot to do until much closer to the date. I know it seems like there is tons to do, but it's sort of just a waiting game once the big things are taken care of. But I totally understand the stress of not having it done. I was the exact same way and kept feeling like I needed to be doing things that really didn't need to happen for several more months.

You could even consider hiring a coordinator that comes on a few months before the wedding date. That might take some of the stress off you and should be a lot more affordable than a full planner.

View quoted message We have our ceremony venue picked and booked, we have a photographer picked and booked. Guest list has been compiling but the count keeps changing right now its sitting at approx 50 people. Reception we're doing a family pot luck as all the family are pretty close but we still have to decide where. Theme is rustic elegance. I think right now it's the stress of everything that is getting to us and the financial side of things as the budget keeps fluctuating as well.

View quoted message Thank you so much these are great ideas!!

View quoted message Alexis,
This is great advice!! Thank you I really appreciate the help. We have our ceremony venue already booked so that was a blessing as it's a free venue in my local area!! Now we are researching reception venues and other such things.

What parts of the planning are you having trouble with? Do you have all of the big things figured out like approximate guest count, date or time of year, what kind of reception (i.e. cocktail reception, full dinner, brunch, something entirely different), etc? Since you have so much time before your wedding to get everything sorted, I think you could definitely skip the planner and just go with a coordinator if you can fit it in the budget. But if it's more the stress than the time I totally get wanting a planner to take it off your plate.

A planner is going to help you find and book vendors, plan out a schedule of the day, and possibly help with some design elements - but each planner will be different and offer different things. A coordinator might be able to recommend vendors, but they usually don't assist in booking them, they'll also plan out a schedule of the day, and they will often help with set up and tear down.

Maybe try to set aside a half day or even just a couple of hours once or twice a month to just focus on the wedding planning. You don't need to be thinking about it 24/7. But if you give yourself set hours to find and book vendors you'll probably be more productive. If you're just constantly browsing you can look forever and get nothing accomplished.

For the amount of set up needed for the venue itself, we did the work ourselves, husband and I for the table and backdrop. The finer details were taken care by myself of knowing the seating plans for favours to keep the Thank You card with the gift. Centerpieces were rented and placed on the table with the beads put in the vases before the reception started with the help of the in laws. Depending on the guest list you have, you can get the help from the family. If not, saving up for a Day of Coordinator may be the best suggestion to get the full help of all the vendors info provided and set up for your vision on paper. It will be costly though you are getting everything done as you planned.

Being how far away your wedding is, I think you might want to consider just taking a little bit of a mental break from wedding planning..


If you hire someone right now, you will be paying so so much. I think a lot more could be accomplished by taking the pressure off of yourself and taking some time to decompress. If you can plan in spurts it might go better. Right now your main focus should maybe be like figuring out vendors.. pretty much everything else can wait. So like take a break? And then see maybe if you can get someone to take the kids for a weekend and your fiancé and yourself buckle down on just that one step alone? The Venue is pretty much the hardest thing to get booked. After you found one maybe take another break? (If you already have one then that’s awesome!!)It’s so stressful to plan all at once and I think you really have time on your side.

View quoted message Thanks for the advice Hank I really appreciate it. My FH is trying to help as much as possible but even with him helping it's become quite the task. I had my MOH helping me at one point but she just recently moved to a different province so that made things a bit difficult. We are trying extremely hard to save for some kind of planner to help us but as you said, it's very costly. I couldn't believe the amount for even just a month/day of coordinator....its crazy expensive. We have sat down and started crunching numbers and realized that we are probably going to have to cut corners somewhere to be able to save up and afford the extra help we need and yes thankfully, we have plenty of time before the wedding to attempt it.

While a full planner will reduce your workload, it will cost you. If you have a lot of your vendors booked, perhaps a partial planner could work? It's not cheap but not as expensive add a full planner. A month of coordinator won't absolve you of your workload in the procurement process.


But your wedding is also in 2023, which is a long time from now. Depending on how complex you're planning things to be, you can certainly spread things out. And bring in your partner to offset the workload.