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Newbie November 2018 Ontario

Parent Introductions with Multiple Divorces

Nicole, on October 30, 2018 at 20:54 Posted in Wedding reception 0 7

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So my parents divorced when I was very young, my mother remarried and my dad has been with his partner (esseentially my stepmom, they're just not married) since I was young. So I was raised with these four parents.

The wrinkle, two years ago my mom and step dad split and the divorce just became official. There is a LOT of anger and hostility there, if given the option my mom wouldn't want my now ex-stepdad to even be there but he raised me just as much as my birth father so that isn't an option. Both of them (mom and ex-stepdad) are in relationships (again my mom doesn't want the girlfriend there but she has accepted that it is happening).

So how do I do introductions? Originally I was thinking only birth parents (leaving out my unofficial stepmom and ex-stepdad) but I feel really bad leaving out my stepmom. I don't feel as bad about my ex-stepdad because he is going to be the MC and he will be introduced by the DJ when he comes up plus as MC will have recognition.

Then I was thinking having my dad and stepmom introduced, followed by my mom (escorted by the bf) but I don't really feel comfortable with this new guy (which I like but I don't know if they are serious and at this point in my life its not like he'll ever be a father figure) getting an introduction. I know having my mom walk in on her own would be unacceptable (by her, and might finally break her).

I feel like having the three of them (mom, dad and stepmom) walk in together is a slap in the face to my ex-stepdad (seems like he is obviously being left out).

I don't know what to do, I want to respect them all, they all raised me and I love them all. But I don't know what to do

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Rachael, on November 1, 2018 at 15:25

Super October 2019 Ontario
Rachael · On November 1, 2018 at 15:25
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Same! It sounds like the situation is complicated and like someone will be hurt in some way so it’s probably best not to do introductions at all. I don’t really see the point anyway (other than them feeling nice for being recognized, but you could thank who you’d like to in your speech if you’re doing one).
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Expert December 2018 Ontario
Emma · On October 31, 2018 at 20:16
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I’ve actually never heard of parents being introduced. I just wouldn’t do any introductions.
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VIP May 2019 Ontario
Stephanie · On October 31, 2018 at 17:56
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I would honestly just do both parents if I was in your place! Maybe like your ex step dad do something else for your step mom away from the ceremony to give her recognition!
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Master July 2018 Alberta
Stephanie · On October 31, 2018 at 13:53
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I've never heard of parents being introduced at a wedding. You don't have to do it. The only people that need to be announced are you and your partner.
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Frequent user July 2019 Ontario
Lucy · On October 31, 2018 at 13:15
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Do you mean announcing them as they enter the reception? I’ve never been to a wedding where the parents have been introduced. It’s usually just the bridal party that are part of the grand entrance.
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Super July 2019 Ontario
Jennifer · On October 31, 2018 at 12:58
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That's tough to go through. and I thought we would almost have to do the same (my FH's mom and stepdad that helped raise him for 21 years just split up. FH wants nothing to do with stepdad. so made that part easier).
as much as it is your day. take somewhat into account how your parents may be feeling
if its for walking down the aisle before you do. let your mom walk with the new boyfriend. have your stepdad and stepmom walk separately down (or by a groomsmen or any siblings)
if you are introducing them at the reception. even though they aren't married I would say dad and stepmom. or if you want to be politically correct on all terms I would go with the title of the parent and partner. so "mother of the bride, Jane and partner Jim"
if they aren't being introduced at the reception. or its only for a speech. then say who is going up for the speech. If mom is saying one...just introduce her. and tell her that don't want the boyfriend up for that portion.
hope that helps
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Top October 2019 Manitoba
Tori · On October 31, 2018 at 09:18
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I am so sorry to hear this!! I personally have parents that are still together, but my FH's parents were never a couple - he was a bit of a surprise baby... lol but with that being said, he will have a mom and (unofficial) step-dad (been together since he was 12 and is now 28 going to be 29), and a dad who is single.
I'm still not sure how they are going to be introduced as I agree, it is way easier when they are still together and you can just say "mother and father of the groom" but at least there are people worth introducing? One of my ex-friend's Dad passed away when we were in grade 7 so she won't have that task.
My best idea is to just introduce everybody as they are. If they are a mom/step-mom or dad/step-dad say so. If they are a boyfriend or girlfriend, state it like such. "Here comes the mother of the bride ____ and her partner ____" or something like that.
In the end people won't be coming up to you asking why you said something a certain way but even if they do - you had their actual position in regards to your life - announced. People really shouldn't care. Besides, your guests will only remember the food, the music, and the ceremony part where you say "I do".
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