Non traditional dinner

The way I see it is.. you can do WHATEVER the heck it is you want to do for your wedding!! There are literally no rules to the reception. You could have it a different day....you could do your ceremony in the morning or lunch and have people over after dinner for some dancing.. you could do a back yard bbq.. you could do a dang pot luck! Anything you want! And if people have an issue with it.. then !@#$ em.

I've gone to a wedding where they didn't do a dinner at all..they just had a couple of different appetizer stations, and a couple of passed appetizers. I thought it was great to be honest. I much prefer grazing than sitting down for a meal...

I also saw a show (one of those TLC shows lol...), and they did a sunrise wedding (just the two of them) and served people a gorgeous brunch around 2:00 pm...why the heck not!

The only thing I'd be conscious of is your alcohol to booze ratio so that you are not over-serving people.

It’s becoming more common. I would rather go the route of having a later ceremony (after supper) and just serving apps or dessert instead of a full meal. That way, there isn’t a big time gap for some people, everyone gets to eat, and you get to celebrate with everyone all day.

I've been to a wedding where the bride, groom and family had a private dinner first, then they had a short candlelight ceremony with everyone, followed by dessert and dancing with everyone. They also had a surprise spread of comfort food food stations. It went over great. I think so long as you make it very clear to guests in advance what's happening, it's all good!

So just another side of this - I went to a cousin's wedding laid out like this, this past summer. They announced that there would be no dinner (outside of B&G immediate family) about two weeks before the actual wedding. It was the first a lot of us had heard of this, and I will be honest, it did not go over well. A huge group of us were coming from out of town, and had the exact thought of "wow you are not even going to feed us" mentality. The ceremony was all of 15 minutes, and then we had a huge 5 hour gap before the dancing at 9pm. It just felt strange to have that time gap and then come back to the wedding late (we also missed the first dance and all because they started earlier then they said etc) It just was not handled the best IMO.

That all being said - I absolutely agree that it is your wedding and you do what you need to do! The dinner can be expensive, it can also be cost effective with different options. I mean we would've been happy even if they just ordered in pizza for everyone!

I think that this can be done, and done appropriately, with the right touch. Lots of notice, make it well known on the invite, and I like the suggestion of offering ideas of where to go for dinner for people and such especially those out of town

Best of luck!

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The people that think it's stupid are the people who had their parents pay for their wedding or had their wedding decades ago... Most people don't realize how much money it costs (like upwards of $30,000....)

Maybe you could offer some ideas of places for them to eat as suggestions to help with it? Otherwise just try and focus on the fact that it's YOUR wedding and you don't need them to approve. I had my wedding 45 minutes outside the city and no kids so you can imagine how many people were not happy with that, but hey - them not coming means my bill went down even more!

Couples have/are gone/going this route due to guest list amount to pay for dinner. Its possible to have family and bridal party come out for the ceremony and dinner. Then after inviting guests for your celebration. It does take away from hearing and seeing everything happening of the entrance, first dance, cake cutting (optional) and speeches made. If there are other solutions to work around this idea, it could go: Potluck at home with friends attending after the ceremony to celebrate your wedding and still be there for the reception beginning to end knowing your able to have them there. Catering is also good to cut down on the cost of food to feed enough and have your guests not attended to come out to enjoy the time. Small buffet at home prepared for your guests to enjoy even being finger food as friends not attended eat before coming for the reception. This way you feel comfortable knowing the food is enough and pizza as a back up is also available if needed to order.

View quoted message I’m worried about people being like I came here for a wedding and I have to feed myself??? But it sounds like as long as you make it known on the invites and give enough time for people to go eat, it should be fine!
I like the late night idea but I don’t have much budge in the time 😬

View quoted message Thanks so much! I’m so glad to hear people consider this a thing haha 😅

View quoted message Thank you so much! This info was super helpful. Some things I should definitely considered!! I can’t move my wedding much later I don’t think because it’s outside in October😬

I've heard of it - haven't been to a wedding like that, but as long as there is enough time inbetween the ceremony and after party for guests to go out to eat then I can't see it being a problem. That or I really do like the suggestion that Amelia said she is doing because then there is no break in the party.

When my mom and my step-dad got married, that is what they did. They rented the banquet room at Mano's and only the immediate family and wedding party was invited. Everyone met back at the reception for dancing and drinks afterwards. The only thing that they added was a bigger late lunch because not everyone ate at the same time.

I think this would be a good idea if you are thinking about saving some money on the dinner.

We're doing our wedding later, around 7:30/8, so that we don't need to feed people a full meal. We will have appetizers and cake and that's it. Our invitation will say join us for drinks, desert, and dancing so people are (hopefully) aware we aren't doing the whole shebang.


You can definitely have a ceremony, a gap, and then the dance you just need to be careful about how you word it so people know you aren't feeding them. Word of mouth will help too, but your invites should probably use terms like ceremony at x time and dancing/light refreshments at x time the word "reception" might make people think you're feeding them. People realize how expensive weddings are so they're a lot more understanding about things like this.

I'm going to a wedding that is doing exactly that this spring! And I was at a similar one a few years ago as well. So definitely not too unusual