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Newbie August 2020 Hawaii

No Engagement Ring or Wedding Rings

Michelle, on September 15, 2019 at 01:17 Posted in Wedding fashion 0 13
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Hello Brides! We’ve been engaged for a year, and I have a truly wonderful and kind fiancé. He did not propose with a ring, mainly financial reasons. He is also not buying me a wedding band.

I understand and respect his reasons. Initially I felt resentful of this, but I have been able to let my resentment go and focus on our awesome relationship. However it has not taken away my *desire* or longing for a ring.

If you were in my shoes, would you just buy your own engagement ring and/band, or just live without it?

I have shared my thoughts, but I am not interested in “making” him buy me one because that’s not the spirit in which I would want to receive this gift.

I’ve never asked him for anything so I hope this doesn’t come across materialistic.

Is anyone else here going ringless?

13 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on September 16, 2019 at 15:31
  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    I would buy my own set as the ring itself is important to me. i wouldnt spend a lot either you can get very nice bridal sets from bitter sweet. or maybe i would save and buy something i really like. but either way i would buy it for myself. i picked my own ring i dont really see why it matters. you want a ring go and buy it girl!!

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  • R
    Devoted November 2019 Quebec
    Rebecca ·
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    Explain how you would like to have something to represent and show you are engaged/married.
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  • R
    Devoted November 2019 Quebec
    Rebecca ·
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    When I got engaged i chose my own ring and we split it 50/50. I chose a very cheap ring (under 200&dollarSmiley winking just so people weren't askinging me "wheres your ring". I would talk to him so he doesn't feel insulted and maybe just
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I think you can definitely buy yourself one!

    Also look into less traditional options since the diamond monopoly drives diamond ring prices up. White sapphire is becoming popular and to the untrained eye, looks exactly like a diamond ring for a fraction of the cost. Coloured gemstone engagement rings are a thing, and again less pricey.

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  • M
    Newbie August 2020 Hawaii
    Michelle ·
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    That helps! Thank you so much for sharing.
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  • Emily
    Expert September 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    No I didn’t pay for it but we use most of our money together so it’s not really his or mine... if that makes sense lol
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  • M
    Newbie August 2020 Hawaii
    Michelle ·
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    Can I ask- did you pay for it?
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  • Emily
    Expert September 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    I think you can totally get yourself a ring!!! I entirely picked mine so I don’t see the difference 🤷‍♀️
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    In that case... I mean... I would go ahead and buy my own ring - but I'm also petty as heck to this means he can buy his own wedding band when the time comes.

    I went ringless for about 2.5 months, but I'm the one who proposed to him and even I did that with some cheap bracelets from Claire's.

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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    Of course you can get yourself a ring. Rings don't have to be expensive either. I've seen some super pretty rings that aren't real diamonds, if you prefer other stones rubies, sapphires anything you like.
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  • M
    Expert September 2019 Ontario
    Meaghan ·
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    This does not come across as materialistic at all. I sincerely hope that this is an aberration in behaviour for him. I truly hope that in all other situations he is generous and responsive to your feelings and changes his behaviour when he sees that it is hurting you.
    With that said, heck yeah, go buy yourself whatever ring you want!!
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    I think it's okay to buy one for yourself. I don't think you're being materialistic. The rings are a ritual and that's something you want to be a part of. I should just talk to your partner and explain that the symbolism is important to you and you want to buy your own. There has to be compromise in your relationship and both of you should be happy.
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  • M
    Newbie August 2020 Hawaii
    Michelle ·
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    I meant to add that I did suggest a very simple $50 band so that it would not be a financial burden but it was clear that this is just not a priority.
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