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Beginner October 2019 Ontario

No bridesmaids/maid of honour

Megan, on September 6, 2019 at 13:23 Posted in Plan a wedding 1 13

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I know its acceptable to not have bridesmaids or a wedding party anymore. People do all kinds of things. In my case, I want my friends to come as guests to my wedding, not be in the wedding party and have to spend lots of money, etc. - less drama anyway. I am having my two brothers stand with me and my fiancé is having one best man. We are only a month away from the wedding now and I think my fiancé has a problem with me not having bridesmaids. In the beginning he voiced his opinion that he thought I should have some girls involved. I told him that my friends don't need to be involved in the wedding, having them as guests are fine. Since the wedding is approaching fast now, my plan was to stay with my mom in the hotel the night before the wedding since we are getting ready together in the morning anyway. My mom and I are also very close and she has helped a lot throughout this whole process. Again, my fiancé was off-put by it when he heard that I would be staying at the hotel with her. He said "whoa, you are just going to stay with your mom? You should be with your girlfriends. That's just weird". He got upset and even a little angry over it.
So I wanted to reach out here and get some opinions. Is it totally 'weird' that I am not going to be surrounded by girlfriends at my wedding? Is it ok for the mother of the bride to act as a maid of honor/bridesmaid would? I don't really care what people might think but the way my fiancé reacted over it was kind of upsetting to me. Does anyone else have a similar situation? I guess I'm looking for some reassurance.
Thanks in advance!

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Bianca, on September 17, 2019 at 12:24

Master August 2019 Ontario
Bianca · On September 17, 2019 at 12:24
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Definitely not weird! I only had a MOH (my sister) and my friends got to enjoy themselves without having the responsibility of being in a wedding party. It was simple and easy.
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VIP August 2020 Ontario
Ashley · On September 11, 2019 at 11:42
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No way its weird. if your mom is your friend why does it matter? what you could also do is have ur gfs all wear whatever dress/shoes/jewelry they want and have them just stand with you at the ceremony and be at the hotel to get ready? that way they can still enjoy the day as well. i mean traditions are meant to be broken who cares lol if i wanted just my mom i would have just her lol
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Top August 2017 Ontario
Vinod · On September 7, 2019 at 13:04
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Your ok with having no bridesmaids/Maid of Honour. You bunking with your mom is also ok since you don't need any other worries your way. Everything you have done and thought out needs no tweaking since you have a plan for the perfect day of your wedding and budget wise. I am guessing as one of your brothers standing up with you will be a witness to sign the registrar.
Your husband has a different train of thought that only makes him think you need more to worry about financially and others. Generally, they don't think about what makes budget stay and go over knowing its you as the couple paying and/or with help of parents. Let him vent out and listen. Reacting back will not make it any better, only worse and stressful.
Your a month away from your day and just stick with your plan as made. Don't adjust/alter your way around what is done or including anyone else. Your mom is your star and that is all you need now.
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Super January 2020 Ontario
Caitlyn · On September 6, 2019 at 15:41
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I don't think it's weird at all to not be surrounded by your girlfriends. Who is or isn't in your wedding party in entirely your choice. My bridal party is only two people (best friend and cousin) so even though I have girls in my party I won't be surrounded by girls.
I, like you, may be bunking with my mom in a hotel room the night before the wedding and I don't think that's weird. I think it can make for some very sweet mother/daughter time.
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Master October 2019 Ontario
Allison · On September 6, 2019 at 14:34
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Men, lol! Maybe he just doesn't want you missing out!
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Beginner October 2019 Ontario
Megan · On September 6, 2019 at 14:31
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He just thinks I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t have bridesmaids or something. Not quite sure lol. You are right though, different ideas of best case scenario. Thanks!
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Beginner October 2019 Ontario
Megan · On September 6, 2019 at 14:29
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I know right? He shouldn’t have an issue with it. But I can see he gets upset/angry over it lol so weird. Thanks for your input! 😊
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Master October 2019 Ontario
Allison · On September 6, 2019 at 14:28
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I definitely don't see why your FH is upset about this lol - it's 100% what you want!!
I'm also staying with my mom at the hotel the night before. Like Jennifer, my bridal party is also in the hotel but we have separate rooms. I'm going out with them Thursday night so I can hopefully catch some Z's the night before.
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Beginner October 2019 Ontario
Megan · On September 6, 2019 at 14:21
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Felt good to hear this! Lol thank you! 😊
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Curious September 2019 Alberta
Jennifer · On September 6, 2019 at 14:20
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Girl. Same.
My bridal party consists of my brother, my male cousin, and one girl (who nominated herself as MOH and I am just too "go with the flow" about those things to care). My mom planned my engagement party AND my bachelorette(penis décor and all), and let's be real...most of the wedding with me. She knows more of what is going on than any other person involved (including the groom). I am also staying with my mom the night before, but since we are going to be out of town, all of our guests will also be in the same hotel the night before so not quite the same. But still. I hang out with my mom most weekends, she is truly my best friend. You should have the people(or person) that you want with you the night before, not who your FH thinks you should have around just because it's what's usual. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Top October 2019 Manitoba
Tori · On September 6, 2019 at 14:07
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100% your choice. If it isn't what you picture then he just needs to realize that your idea of best case scenario and his are not the same. I get why he would be thrown by it though - they may not be in the wedding party but they are your friends and he (hopefully) just thinks that you would want to share that part with them. That and he wouldn't want you to regret it being just you and your Mom.
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Expert August 2019 Alberta
Lisa · On September 6, 2019 at 13:59
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Just because something isn't the "norm" doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. I think it's great that you are happy to have your girlfriends attend and put no financial or other pressure to do anything but have a good time. Maybe FH just needs to get used to the idea that old traditions just don't take priority anymore?
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VIP September 2019 Ontario
Becky · On September 6, 2019 at 13:26
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Its honestly up to you! If your mom is someone you would rather be with and because you don't have wedding party then 100% its fine. If there are some friends who have shown interest then invite them to stay the night prior. I don't see any issue with it but that's because you don't have any bm's and its your mom of all people!
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