No Bridal party

View quoted message We have just having an BW (best woman) and MOH
Im planning my own bridal shower and my mom is ‘hosting’ at her house, i like to plan things but i dont think its weird to plan it yourself and people bring gifts (we did it as kids when we had birthday parties)
If i do have a bachelorette party, I’ll probably plan it, id love for people to help but it doesn’t overly matter, Dont feel weird about the parties, if you host a dinner party people bring wine as a gift/thank you for hosting

View quoted message I think because bridal showers are typically seen as a gift giving party it might be weird if you plan it yourself. If you just want to get together with friends and family and ask for no gifts I think it’s fine. You could also totally ask some friends/family members if they’d want to help you plan it.


As for the bachelorette, I don’t see an issue at all unless you’re hoping to have other people foot the bill. If you plan it yourself you can do exactly what you want and invite exactly who you want. I see this as a major pro!

We're skipping the wedding party! My friends still came dress shopping with me and (hopefully if the virus goes away!!) We will all be together for a bachelorette party! We're also including our friends and loved ones through speeches, emceeing, and generally asking for their help and guidance when we need it.


Pros: less cost and stress for our best friends, fewer opinions to deal with(hello bridesmaidzilla), because they aren't paying for hair/makeup/dresses they're more open to a bachelorette weekend away, huge money savings (no extra boutonnieres and bouquets, proposal gifts, thank you gifts, rehearsal dinner meals to name a few), fewer hurt feelings if you can't pick everyone (I wasn't going to pick my FH's sister, but I would have felt guilty about it)
Cons: you'll need to reach out for help if you need it because you might not have a team who expects to help you with things
For us our wedding is small so having 20% + of our guests standing with us made no sense.

View quoted message Do you think planning your own bachelorette party and bridal shower is ok? Usually someone plans it for you.

As a guest to family weddings, many cousins who got married, didn't have bridal parties as some did later on. For those who decided they didn't want wedding party, it was just the family itself. The couples who got married since 2015 started having wedding parties since it was cousins involved and friends close to them. We personally did have a wedding party of 4 in total, 2 each MOH and BM(Best Man). It seemed ok though we could have done without. It was a fusion wedding of Indian/Civil, so the thought of getting others standing beside us was considered thoroughly.

You dont really need a bridal party. i have one and other than ordering a dress for the day i havent asked them to do anything. im planning everything on my own and i want it done a certain way. for your cermoney you just need two people to be witness' for your bach invite ALL your friends and go out and do what you wanna do. and for your shower your family and your FH family will help you set up and clean up.

View quoted message If you were to have a bridal shower and bachelorette party, do you think it’s ok with the bride planning it?

We aren’t having a bridal party. I’m very happy with my decision as I already find planning stressful with only family members chiming in and I didn’t want to add any extra people to the mix.


I also don’t want a bridal shower or bachelorette and didn’t want to make my friends plan parties for me. Those kinds of things make me very uncomfortable lol!
I’ve still had tons of friends ask if they can help plan these things. Just because you don’t have a bridal party doesn’t mean your friends and family won’t lend a hand.
My fiancé probably would have had groomsmen if I had wanted a bridal party but he’s still going to get ready with his friends beforehand and have one of them be his witness. I’ll probably have my sister be my witness.

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Absolutely not re: the bach party. This way you get to plan an evening of doing whatever you actually like to do as opposed to having someone else guess what you like or adhere to tradition that you may not like. That being said, don't expect for any costs associated with a bach party you plan yourself to be covered by others. If it's something casual and inexpensive like a night out for drinks in town (health crisis permitting), they may pay your bill, especially if they're close friends. But don't plan an expensive trip and expect a group not obligated to serve your wedding to pay for it and cover your share.

I've never been to wedding related showers and neither my fiance nor I plan to have any of such events. It's not in our culture. The question is, why do you want a shower? What does this event accomplish that the bachelorette or wedding itself can't? I've had friends who planned a shower with a stated expectation of no gifts. It was done so that she can hang out and pre-celebrate with female relatives like grannies and aunts who wouldn't be suitable for a bachelorette party. But if the party is mainly for getting gifts, then you may want someone else to plan it. Maybe a family member like a sister or mom?

View quoted message Thanks for the reply! Would it be wrong to plan your own bridal shower and Bach party? Just cause usually that’s something the bridal party does. Does it seem conceited?

Do you have a bridemaid and groomsman?

You can just invite any female friend and family for your bachelorette party. Even if you had a party, it's not limited to them only.

Personally, I never offload planning duties to the groomsmen and bridesmaids. Get them involved in events for the day but not plan it. It's your day at the end of the day. You should control what happens. If I need help with anything, it's usually for little things like a sign in table, or directing guests to their seats etc. Nothing that requires too much time before the day of to prepare. I imagine these tasks can be done by close family and friends, or even a hired wedding team if you don't have a party.