Need Support - discouraged that no one cares

Feeling the love to share with others to be part of the wedding planning and asking if you need anything is nice. The gesture to ask back when its your turn seems resentful and unneeded since your doing everything and figures they don't need to get involved in it. Your mom and aunt do show they care and are there for you.

Friendships come and go as jealousy is part of the persons' personality. Don't take it personal and just brush it off as much as it hurts they don't want anything to do with you since your getting married. Its a matter of time before they realize they were wrong and come around to apologize.

The trip to Scotland is hard to absorb though the flight safety isn't looking good right now for some places. It would be a complete surprise if they do something for you locally for your bachelorette.

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Thanks! I have definitely found that my friends who are either already married or also in this situation understand and are supportive. They get that typically everything is planned and sorted out before the invitations are sent out. I can totally see how someone who hasn't planned a wedding before wouldn't know that - it's just frustrating and I don't want to be like "what about me" haha.

I am glad we didn't get as far as printing invitations and sending them out. I feel like that would have made decision making a lot harder and having to explain what's going on to guests would be tough too.

We don't know what's happening with our venue unfortunately, but that's mostly because we haven't completely decided on our plan for our ceremony this year. They've provided us with a few options, but none of them are very attractive to us so we will probably end up not using it and losing our deposit. Thankfully it wasn't a huge deposit, but it's still a big blow to have to start from scratch. I also absolutely loved our venue so I'm really sad we won't be able to use it.

View quoted message I'm glad , they sound like some pretty awesome girls! Good luck with your wedding, I'm sure it will be great

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You are right, I have been thinking about this over the last few days and I do need to give them the benefit of the doubt, these are weird times. I also have relatives coming from abroad and the thought that things just might not get better scare me too.
Haha you are right we need to be flexible as we might be replanning this several times over.
Thank you so much for your kind words and after the weekend I had with my two friends I do feel so grateful that I have their support and it is ok to feel down sometimes, we all had a magical day planned. Best of luck on your wedding planning journey and thank you for the support!

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I'm sorry you're going through this as well! I have realized maybe they don't really know how I feel as I always stay very positive around them and don't want to be a damper when a lot of pressing issues are happening. On the bright side, it is good the invitations weren't printed. Mine were all picked out and paid for but im happy they did not get printed and we could delay and edit them before sending them out. But I understand how it made her guests feel like her wedding was more official even though you were both in the same wedding planning stage. Maybe people thought that you were lucky your planning didn't get as far as that. I know that nobody really knows how far your wedding planning has gotten until they receive the infomation. There is so much work, decisions made, and money deposited at every part of the wedding planning process. What did you end up doing about your venue? Did they refund you? I can also see the benefits of starting your whole wedding process again, there is so much information you now know and adjust it to the new normal and do things you didn't think you would be able to do or have time for.

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Aww I'm so sorry that happened to you as well! You are absolutely right! I am realizing how grateful it is to have those few people who care so much for you and to not take it for granted, especially after the night I had with my 2 friends.

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Thank you so much for your perspective, I didn't think of it like that. I gave myself a few days to think it over and will see how things go once we figure out our new plans. I know it is such a weird time.

I’m sorry that this is happening to you. It hasn’t been an easy year and planning a wedding during covid has been unprecedented for stress and mixed feelings.
I’d talk to your party about what you’re feeling at that you need their support right now. They might honestly be trying to be kind by not bombarding you at this sensitive time, trying to give you space and not constantly remind you that today didn’t happen. Or they might not know what to say to make it better, but it comes off as purposely avoiding you. Talking with them will clear the air, especially if it’s a misunderstanding and not ill intentions.

I felt similar when my batchelotette party date came and went and no one said anything. Then my wedding date and only my MOH, one sister and FMIL said anything. I think everyone is going through their own things and doesn't really understand what anyone else is going through. It's definitely hard caring so much and having others care so much less than you . I didn't bother bringing it up with my BMs or parents, I just talk to the few people who I know are supportive. I'm glad you have 2 good friends that are there for you in these crazy times, they are so important to have

I'm sorry you're feeling this way

I have felt the same way a few times. I have a friend who was supposed to get married a few months before we did this year. They had sent out save the dates right before quarantine so everyone knew about the wedding and had all the details. We got engaged just a few weeks apart and were essentially at the same stage in wedding planning, but we hadn't sent out any invitations/save the dates and had just told people via word of mouth. After covid hit, we decided to hold off on invitations because we didn't know what was going to happen. Although my friend and I both have to postpone our weddings (and to throw an even bigger wrench into things, my venue is being demolished so we have to start planning from scratch), I have a couple of friends that don't seem to care about my wedding but constantly tell my engaged friend they're so sorry she had to postpone hers.

It's frustrating and makes me sad, but at the same time I think it's hard for people who aren't trying to plan a wedding during covid to understand what it's like.

My only advice would be to let them know you feel this way. I'm sure none of your bridesmaids want you to feel like this and they probably don't realize you do. Once you tell them how you feel hopefully they will give you the support that you need. If they don't, it may be time to re-evaluate your friendships.

So sorry to hear you're feeling like this.


This year has been so weird, and I truly think that people who weren't planning a life milestone don't necessarily understand or realize what people are going through. People planning weddings, graduations, and births understand a little but each of us is going through this in our own way (we're in the same storm, but different boats). I really hope that this is a factor in why some people haven't reached out or supported you in the way you expected.
You're not alone. We've made so many backup plans, elopement, small ceremony, video ceremony, pushing the reception and that's all for this year. We decided to push our reception and it didn't dawn on me for weeks that next year may not be any better for international travel of my future in-laws (here's hoping the next president makes their lives easier!). This time next year I'm sure I'll have 8 more new backup plans.
Stay strong and appreciate the people who have been in your corner. And don't be ashamed to admit that you feel upset that you're missing important moments, or that you're anxious/stressed/worried. We can't hold those things in without consequences. And when you need it remember you have a pile of support in each of us! ❤️