Need help for newbie

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I agree 100%! Just because its on a checklist doesn't mean you NEED to have it! if you want to go all out with stationary do it! But if you don't love it and find it wasteful don't do it!

During this time you get to really be creative and be you! In our wedding we didn't even care about gender when we selected our bridal party. My maid of honour is a boy (we're calling him man of honour) and my FH has a female on his side (groomslady/grooms-woman). Our ring bearer is also a little girl!

A great way to save money is to DIY stuff, and if you're crafty and enjoy that stuff this is perfect for you! If you hate it, then hire someone or recruit family!

This is about you and your fiance! Enjoy this! Its stressful, scary but it's also a ton of fun!

I also found it really helpful to listen to some wedding podcasts (while driving to work, doing other things, etc). Things I hadn't thought about or didn't know. The Wedding Planning Podcast is excellent.

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Totally agree with what Amanda was saying about picking the date/time of year. I was in a similar situation. I knew I wanted peonies, so that was one thing that factored into our date being in June during that blooming season. The other thing was we wanted to avoid July as neither of us enjoy the heat, and August as again with the heat factor, but also both our parents anniversaries are in August and both our mom's birthdays are in August, we just felt like it would be a busy month and not really what we wanted to add something else into the mix.

Another thing once you narrow down to maybe the month/season is looking to see what close family birthdays and holidays fall on those weekends. For some people it isn't a big deal to have their wedding day on their dad's birthday, or on a long weekend, or something like fathers day or mothers day. But just keep in mind some of these things may be barriers for your guests when deciding whether they can attend. And some prices are higher on long weekends (even with guest accommodations).

Enjoy your engagement, have candid conversations with your partner about what kind of vision you both have and what you want. I think it's really beneficial to sit down, brainstorm budget figures, and also discuss what items are most important/not important at all to you. If photography is your most important thing, it makes sense it would be one of your first things to book. If you don't care at all about the music and it's not something important to you, it's okay to push that to later in the process. The things you identify as most important will be what you want to focus on. And if you're still flexible with dates (for example, not sure what specific date but know you want a Saturday in July) this could be useful if you have a photographer that you really love and want to book, and they are only available for one of the saturdays in the month you're looking at, that may make your decision on the date you select. This is what happened to me with my makeup artist, I knew I really wanted to use this vendor and we hadn't settled on a date yet and she only had one date left in the month we were looking at so I booked her and we chose that date.

After you pick the date, or at the same time, the location/venue will probably be the next thing. Just because it's hard to book other vendors if you don't have a location to request pricing for. There are tons of resources on here and the discussions have been so helpful for me. One thing that's stuck with me is that you don't have to have every item on those cookie cutter wedding checklists/budgets. Don't want to do escort cards, don't. Don't want to pay for or have all the day of stationary (menus, programs, etc), don't. There's no rule that says you have to have each of these things in your wedding, and you shouldn't have to pick something/hire someone just because it's on a checklist.

Hey Alicia,

Congratulations and welcome to wedding wire!

My biggest advice is to consider what time of year you'd like to get married, and the year you want to get married! This year, next year, year after! For me personally it was an easy decision because I LOVE sunflowers, so I knew it had to be early fall, and for the year I knew I wanted at least 1 year to plan!

Once you know the season and year you'd like the get married sit with your fiance, their parents, your parents and discuss a wedding budget! Talk about if they're comfortable giving you some money/if they aren't. Knowing what you can spend and how much you want to spend is super important! Some items may cost more than you expected and it is always good to have a buffer zone. If you land under budget you can use that money for other things, or save it! Also this is a good time to come up with an estimate guest count to help with the venue hunt! It can be a range like 80-100, or even 130-150 like my range was. This will help make sure when you start a venue hunt they can support the amount of people you plan on inviting, and it also helps with the quoting/estimate process with venue vendors!

The next big thing is to secure a venue & date! This is insanely difficult right now with COVID restrictions! You may not be able to tour some venues, which makes it difficult to judge if the place is really perfect for your day! Utilize wedding wire's vendor search options to help send quick emails to vendors to start the process!

Once you've got the venue and the date, you can start to think of florists, cake, dj, planners, gowns. One thing that really helped me identify who I needed to hire, when and set a budget was a wedding planner from Indigo!

Keep in mind with COVID right now lots of vendors are being booked and some people are pushing back their weddings so some vendors may be booked for 2022 and 2023 already! Don't let this discourage you! The florist I wanted got booked for my day due to a COVID cancellation, but I found another florist who is just as good, if not better in my opinion!

Have fun with it! While it can be stressful try to enjoy yourself! You're planning your big day!

If you need anything, I am also around to chat with! Feel free to message me anytime!

HI Alicia!

congratulations on your engagement!

If you don't know where to begin I would say narrowing down a date and a venue is a great place to start. And getting a gown! then work on colour and theme.

If you are overwhelmed try looking for places that are "all inclusive:" then you don't have to worry about orchestrating a million different plans such as food, drinks, decor ect. And maybe a wedding coordinator if its in budget for you! Feel free to message and I will try to help where I can!

Everyone made such great tips - I would like to add though.

Check out the articles on the wedding wire. They helped me with what to expect, a time line, how to include family, how to include your fiancé who may not me interested in wedding planning and all things wedding pretty much. I also forwarded these articles to my FH and it has helped him as someone who knew absolutely nothing.

I may also add to really think about dates - I thought this would be the easiest one to decide but it was actually the hardest for my fiancé and I and ensued week long discussions on the daily until we came up with a bunch of dates - I chose 5 I liked and then he chose the one. and it was perfect. I thought we had our date picked out but it has changed 4 times!

Congrats on the engagement

Hi, congratulations! I'm pretty new as well. My best advice is don't get too overwhelmed feeling like you don't know anything about planning a wedding - anyone who hasn't been married before won't know. When looking for a venue try to find one that has awesome and helpful staff. We have a coordinator with our wedding venue - she has been so helpful with advice and answering any questions that seem "silly" to me.

Lots of people will say to set a budget but I had a hard time with that because I had no idea what everything was supposed to cost. I found a calculation that helped me. It said your budget should be no more than 30% of your annual income (combined). So I put that number plus our parent's contributions as our max budget. I would like to stay much lower than that but it helps to give you a general idea. There are lots of graphics that then help to break down what percentage of that typically goes to food, to the venue, the bar, flowers, attire, etc. That will help give you a budget for each vendor you are looking for.

Good luck! This community is super helpful.

Congratulations on the engagement and welcome to wedding wire! The first thing I would do is talk about a budget with your fiance. What you're comfortable spending and set a number for yourself. Then I would look at how many people you're wanting to have at your wedding. This will help with finding a venue. Some venues have a minimum guest count. Once you have these two things done, then you can start looking at other things like photographer, DJ, Cake, Officiant etc. Check out Pinterest to see what style you would want for your wedding as well If you have any questions feel free to ask at any time

Hello Alicia 👋🏾
Congratulations 🥳 on your engagement! Welcome to the engagement life towards married life. Also, welcome to the community! How exciting eh. Well, you’ve made your first step in creating your page and asking the question.

Rayane did give you some good information and tips there. So I won’t repeat them. Haha. While you’re doing those two important steps (budget and guests list). Make sure you’re having fun with it. Heads up, sometimes there maybe challenges and stressors but that’s part of the process. You just to get back up and think about that day you both say “I do!”. If you have any further questions, let us know and I’ll try my best to assist.
Welcome once again!

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I definitely will take you up on that offer to ask any ws I need

Congratulations on your engagement and welcome to wedding wire. I think your best first steps are to decide on budget and guest list. (Not absolute final guest count but approximately how many people you'll invite.) That way when you decide to go shopping you won't look at something that has a maximum of 40 people or a minimum amount of people that won't be appropriate. Your budget is definitely key to having less stress. Look at pinterest to see what styles of weddings you like. Maybe you and SO can pick a outlet must haves that way you know where you want to allot your budget. Best of luck and of course you are always welcome to ask anything here or even vent.