Need Bridesmaid Advice

I don't think that you need to justify leaving her out of your bridal party as no one is obligated to be in it.

Like Stephanie said, I wouldn't bring it up unless she does. If she does, just explain that your fiancé wanted to have 3 bridesmaids to match 3 groomsmen (if that's his intention) and that you chose the others because you're closer to them.

Either that or you could wait as others have suggested below!

I don't think you have to say anything unless she brings it up. For me, I'd rather just not hear anything than hear I wasn't chosen. Just because you were in her wedding party doesn't mean you have to have her in yours. If she's negative, you probably don't want her. My friend regretted asking one of her bridesmaid's who had made a few snide remarks about their relationship.

We're doing uneven bridal party, I'm choose my cousin and one of my best friends, and my fiance has 4. I don't know if that could be a solution for you.

I have 4 bridesmaids. I live on the sunshine coast (powell river) my MOH lives in maple ridge, 1 bridesmaid lives in nanaimo, 1 bridesmaid currently lives in burnaby but graduated BCIT mining engineering this month and there is a very good chance she will end up on another continent, and my final bridesmaid graduated kinesiology this month and has leads for work in the UK and Europe. I'm okay that no one lives in the same town as me currently, but it definitely makes it tough. I couldn't be happier for their success, but its stressful, for sure!

I would suggest waiting though, you have lots of time to let things settle down and you will know by the feeling in your gut what the right decision is ❤

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I 100% second this! Wait it out! You can wait until you're a year out from your wedding to pick your bridal party.

View quoted message I know you’re excited but just don’t it. It’s not worth asking yet. Hold off as long as you can because you may end up regretting a choice or two. Just leave It. Things may change and your negative friend may end up being a lot less negative about it too. Just wait and see closer too

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Luckily you have the gift of time; I've seen many comments on here from brides that regret their choices of BM's and a lot can change in a year or 2. I know you want to just get your tribe and start all the fun gushy stuff about planning stuff because it is so exciting! Who knows, her negativity may just be a passive aggressive way of trying to not get invited to stand beside you! I would hold off for a while if it was me, as you really don't need a lot of actual help from the team (other than a few opinions) until at least one year prior. Good luck it's a toughie!

View quoted message I haven’t asked anyone yet. I just want to ask my 3 but I feel bad about the other girl as I feel she assumes she’s going to be in my wedding party and I don’t know how to tell her lol

If you already asked her - then I agree with Helen. Bite the bullet and tell her sooner rather than later and maybe she could help out in a different way if she would still want to. If you haven't asked anyone yet - including her, wait until the 1 year mark before officially asking anybody as friends change. My FH has the 6 people who he wants in his head but I can only think of 4. I want to have matching sides so I have come to the conclusion that it can wait until at least October of this year before I give out my "will you be my bridesmaid" packages.

If you aren't trying to uninvite her, then I'd just leave her out and ask the others. If you already asked, or she has outright assumed it may be very delicate since you are in her wedding. She either will understand, or she won't (yes I am at that point in my planning), and ultimately you do not have to match your numbers. Having the best supportive people around you on that day is the most important piece- and those that have supported your relationship and will continue to do so over the years. My brosmaid is in Oregon so he cant participate in much planning, but I don't care as long as he is by my side- sounds like you will have at least 2 others to help where your gf can't. He can help me with ideas, decisions and talking me off my ledge from 300 miles away. I am sure from being in her wedding you will have a great idea of how it will be for yours if she is included, if that isn't what you want then don't do it. Maybe, just maybe she will be happy to not be involved in another wedding (and expense) after hosting her own. I have been in several weddings but I that doesn't make me obligated to have all of them in mine, I would love to but it just isn't practical for us.

If you haven't asked anyone to be in your wedding party yet. I wouldn't. you still have lots of time. and things may change over the next year. and that negative friend may be more open and excited and want to be a part of it.

you could also find another way to involve her. I struggled with picking bridesmaids. so my 2 cousins (whom i'm super close to) I have lighting a candle in my dads memory for the ceremony. and they will help with bachelorette etc

First off, you don't need to match. I have 4 bridesmaids and my fiance has 8 groomsmen... The problem is, if you've already asked someone to be a part of your day, it's hard to tell them they aren't 'needed' anymore...

If you really need them to be even numbers, then it's going to be an uncomfortable conversation, 100%, but you need to let her know you have to make it even, and you'd love for her to be part of "X" other event, or help with "______"... so she still feels needed, but she just won't be a bridesmaid.

From the sounds of it though, you could just try and passive aggressively make it sound like an "out", where it's going to be a lot of time/money commitment, and you feel like she'd enjoy just being a guest more.

You could just explain that you want to keep the wedding party small and nothing more but you would still love to have her involved in the lead up to the big day.

My cousin told me she was really hurt I didn’t ask her to be in my bridal party. I felt bad that she was hurt but I just explained to her that we wanted to keep things small and simple and I only picked 2 people (my sister and one of my best friends). Now that I’m aware how she feels I have gotten my sister and mom to ask her if she wants to help plan my bridal shower and will have her involved in planning some of these other events.