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Newbie July 2023 Ontario

Need advice- family emergency

Ashley, on August 4, 2022 at 00:32 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 5
Hello ladies!

I’ve been scrolling through these discussion to try and get some advice. My father was just diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma cancer. He is starting an aggressive chemo next week for the 4 months. The doctors have said that if all fails, he will have 1 year to live. I am really close to my father and I have also dreamed of the day he will walk me down the aisle. My fiancé have been engaged since 2019, and have waiting to have our wedding because of COVID. We have started the planning process, called venues and vendors. We plan on getting married July 8,2023.
We don’t know if we should push the wedding sooner (but I’m worried my father won’t be in the right condition to attend a wedding) or do we just keep the wedding as normal. That way he has something to fight for and forward too. Maybe even by then he might be better.
We really don’t know what to do


Latest activity by Vinod, on August 26, 2022 at 18:54
  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Your dad is a fighter and will get through it. The news to hear this as you plan your wedding does have concerns to put forward as the day to make it happen sooner. You two feel if the time is to make the date change sooner with your father present to see you married and have the reception on the booked date. This way it will be memorable and let your guests know the circumstances.

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  • Rachay
    Curious August 2022 Ontario
    Rachay ·
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    That's really tough, I am so sorry to hear that! We have a similar situation. My fiance and I only got engaged in 2021 and will be getting married on 5 days.

    His grandma is like a mom to him and she is quite ill and we want to ensure she is part of our big day! So we kind of rushed things.
    I don't think any of us can make that decision for you, but I personally feel that if your really close with your dad and you want him to walk you down the aisle, you can maybe chose to do a more intimate wedding for now and you and your husband to be can always do a big celebration a few years down the road to renew your vows
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  • Kelsey
    Frequent user August 2022 Alberta
    Kelsey ·
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    What a tough thing for you and your family. I can't imagine what this is like. I will echo Hank and Carine; consider something small and official for now and keep your original 2023 date as a reception. You can have some wonderful moments with your family, fiance and father and then plan the bigger celebration later on?

    If I had known my grandmother was going to pass when she did, I would have done this to have those moments with her.
    Sending love, patience, and peace to your family during this difficult time 💕
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  • Carine
    Featured September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
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    I am so sorry you are going through that it is not easy, both my parents had cancer so I understand what you are going through.

    Have you thought of having a smaller wedding just the close relatives and then next year have a renewed vows type wedding?

    This way your dad will be able to walk you down the aisle and have that first dance.

    I am lucky my dad beat cancer, but planning my wedding without my mom is one of the hardest thing for me at the moment. I think you should move the date up because if he is doing aggressive treatment, he may not be in shape to walk you down the aisle and have a first dance with you.

    Again I am so sorry that your family is going through this, it is so hard not only one the person but the family as well.

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    I'm sorry to hear about your father. I hope that treatment works out for him. Should treatment not work out, keep in mind that the one year estimate is just an estimate. Cancer can suddenly become aggressive, especially at that stage so if having your father physically present during the ceremony is important to you, I would push the wedding up.

    If you feel like your father has limited time left, you can arrange for a smaller ceremony where your father can witness you getting married. Treat it like any wedding, just smaller (like 15 people max) - have a legit ceremony, walk down the aisle, play music, take pictures, enjoy a nice meal, share a dance. You can do this at home or rent a very small venue, which are more readily available. By keeping it small, you can adjust the day based on your father's condition. If you want to celebrate with all your extended family and friends, host the bigger party later on.

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