Navigating Friendships

View quoted message Thank you for your comments! I needed that. So nice about you and your friend as well.

View quoted message Ah okay that’s great to know! I’ve always been one to place importance on friends and for most of my life I was the single friend so I get it. I guess I’m also worried they won’t make the effort with me as much once I’m married but that’s probably silly.

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That's what I'm thinking too! Moving together will be more of a transition than marriage lol

View quoted message It sounds like we are in a very similar situation! I’ve been living with my FH for a year and a half as well and I know when we moved in together I was concerned about my friends and I still make the effort so I guess it should be the same with marriage!

Friendships CAN change, but they don't have to! You might find you want to spend more time with other couples than with your single friends. That's okay. Just still make time for those friends. I was the last of my friends to get married, so I felt like I was always put on the backburner when someone else got married. Now that I'm married, I get it, but as a single, I wanted to hang out more than they could. I would say just make time for them. My university friends had a weekly girls night. Another friend, we would Facetime a couple times a month and watch a movie on netflix at the same time!

My husband plays volleyball once a week, so I take that time to catch up with a friend or two.

I also think you will find it easier to maintain those friendships once they start to marry. A few friends I haven't talked to in awhile, we have now reconnected because we are in the same boat again.

I'm very aware/concerned about changing friendships too! I'm the first one in my university friend group who is getting married but I've lived with my FH now for 1 1/2 years now so that was more of a transition when I moved out of our student apartment. I make time for them, especially with my FH's work schedule it's pretty easy to have a girls night. Most of my close friends don't live close at all, so I take time to text/call for a bit to catch up.

Good for you for being aware/concerned about how this could change. I am one of the last of my friends to get married. and I was the friend that was the solo girl FOREVER.

honestly it won't change things drastically. if you don't let it. and they don't. relationships always evolve/change. good friends will not let you leave their life regardless of the change.

my best friend and I haven't seen each other in over 6 years (she lives in the states). we haven't let us affect us.

View quoted message Thank you Lisa! That is great advice and so nice to hear about you and your friend. I know a lot of my friends have been having different feeling about life and friendships and I think part of it is just navigating your late 20s and growing up and things changing.

View quoted message Okay this makes me feel a bit better! I just keep envisioning a lot of change. But since my FH have been together and also moved in together I’ve still made time for all my friends so I guess why would it change once we are officially married.

I think the fact that you are asking shows a level of great awareness and respect for your friends - being aware that this may alter things somewhat is great. As we age (I've got a few years on most of you here) we find that some friendship evolve based on where we are in life - but those friendships that are real and important will last, so long as both sides still look after the friendship.

I have a friend of over 20 years that has never been in a serious relationship since I've known her. Sometimes we hang out in group settings, sometimes I make sure that we have time with just her and I and sometimes she'll hang out with me and my FH. We share similar work history (working with her is how we met) and we were both single Moms so we have that connection. But most of all, we've just always supported each other - that has stayed the same, no matter where we are in our lives.

There's also been some friendships that fade over time as lives start to go in different directions - and that's okay too. It doesn't always have to be about ending a friendship - sometimes things just take off in opposite trajectories because, well - life happens to all of us at a different pace.

Take care of the friendships that are important, let go of those that aren't good and healthy and be grateful that everyone that enters our lives are there for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

I am not married yet, but I am actually one of the last of my friends to get married. From experience marriage will not change your friendships. The people you will want to stay close with, you will. You may find other couples to do things with for some things, but you can still fin time for girls nights as well. The milestone that you will notice a change the most is when you start talking about babies.

It's funny I'm the same! I always thought I would be single forever, my FH is was my first serious boyfriend at 24 years old! My friends are all in relationships which I suppose makes it easier? But we are the first to get married out of all of our friends! It's a bit different too we are not able to live together before marriage but all of our friends live with their S/O already so I guess they have the benefits of marriage already?
Just make sure you make time for your friends as you start this new life journey! Make time for "girls nights" and "guys nights" just so your friends dont think theyve lost you! Marriage isnt hard to manage both... I think once kids start happening that's when the real division comes.

View quoted message Yeah it would definitely be hard to maintain those types of friendships. I know my fiancé often had the same experiences with some guys. But great that you have found new friends that are on a similar path to
you!

Yeah it would definitely be hard to maintain those types of friendships. I know my fiancé often had the same experiences with some guys. But great that you have found new friends that are on a similar path to
you!

View quoted message Thank you! I definitely had to make that decision with a friend during this process. It can be hard to let go but I definitely agree it’s not worth your emotional sanity.

It’s not so much that I am looking to remove friends. My inner circle is small and made up of some great girls. A lot of them live about a 40 minute distance which we’ve managed for years, on top of me soon getting married! It’s more just wondering about how you navigate the transition with marriage and how things may change and embracing your different lives.

I am completely with you on this! Out of the 5 friends that were in my group of high school buddies we actually made a list of who was most likely to get a boyfriend first. You can bet your butt that I was the second last person on that list that would get a boy. Yet here I am, going to marry my FH and they have all yet to have a boyfriend or if they do it's nothing serious.

I've moved on from them though. We are just at different points in our lives. I go to work full time and part time school, bought a house, and am planning on having kids asap after getting married next year. They on the other hand are in school full time with a side job and go to the clubs every other weekend while they live at their parents house (who are the ones putting them through Uni).

I've found friends at work that are more at my speed and in fact it was through those friends that I found my FH

It's ok to drop friendships, you can always reconnect when you are at similar points in your life again.

Throughout our lives, friendships come ang go for the most part. Some become stronger as a circle of friends for life or as i like to call it second family.

I personally have gone left those people who may call you friends yet decieve you at the same time. I have learned to leave that kind of friendship behind as they truly don't matter anymore.

Those people that have shown support and show they do stand by you are true friends. Keep them by your side.

I had let gone friendships that were taken for granted ansmd unworthy. Take what you have as life lessons sticking to whom you trust and leave behind whom you don't trust. People will change either for the better or the worst.

Be thankful your FH is on your side and stands by your choices and up to those unfriends that think your their friend.