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Charity
Curious June 2023 Ontario

Narrowing down the guest list

Charity, on February 28, 2022 at 13:55

Posted in Plan a wedding 43

Hi everyone! I am fairly new to this community and I only found out about this discussion section today! I Love how supportive everyone is!! It is so great to see . Hoping to get your opinions on my situation below. My partner and I have been trying to create our guestlist. We are stuck on whether...

Hi everyone! I am fairly new to this community and I only found out about this discussion section today! I Love how supportive everyone is!! It is so great to see Smiley smile.


Hoping to get your opinions on my situation below.


My partner and I have been trying to create our guestlist. We are stuck on whether we should be inviting distant family relatives. I come from a Filipino background and family parties are always a big thing for us where everyone is invited no matter how "close" you are to the them. I have a whole side of a family where my partner and I are not close to them but when we are together we all have a blast. We see these families (group of about 30 people) maybe once or twice a year. Sometimes my family is not even invited to their parties as well.


I would not mind it if these people are not at my wedding, but for the sake of future interactions, I just want to avoid all awkwardness and having any of them feel left out. I also feel pressured to invite them, not sure why. I go back and forth a lot about this. There are some days where I'm like "yea it would be so great to have them all there" and some days where I feel like I just don't give a damn if feelings are hurt.

Just wanted to pick your brains to ask if any of you have or are experiencing something like this and how did you make up your mind?




43 Comments

  • Charity
    Curious June 2023 Ontario
    Charity ·
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    That is a great idea! If you don’t mind me asking, how did you present that information to the ones who were not invited? Did you speak to each family and explain?


    Thanks for sharing Smiley smile
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  • Hailey
    Expert June 2022 British Columbia
    Hailey ·
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    It depends on how big you want the wedding and your budget.


    My fiance and I wanted a small wedding 50 under. My family is huge So we went the route of inviting a 2-4 from each side of the family to represent the each side and explained to them that's why... also the family we see more often not the ones where we see every couple years.
    It was definitely hard to do however most of them understand as we have a house payment/budget
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  • Charity
    Curious June 2023 Ontario
    Charity ·
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    Thanks!! You've made some really great points! I think once I finalize on the venue, I will have a clearer picture on whether to invite them or not.

    I sure hope they won't be offended should I end up not inviting them!! but also, good point on that again haha!

    Appreciate your thoughts Smiley smile

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Considering you're not even locked in for the venue, I think you need to focus on finding a space first before deciding on the guest list. The space determines so many things. If your venue is 200+, they may require you a minimum spend for 150 people, in which case you'll need to bring the extra 30 guests or else you're paying for nothing. But if what's available in July 2023 that can fit your budget can only accommodate 120, you can't even invite them since there's actually no space.

    That being said, it sounds like this group of people would enhance the party and at the moment, it sounds like it's within your budget to include them so I would have them on the potential list for now. If you need to cut them before sending out invites, then cut them then.

    And really, if you only see them once a year, how offended can they really be? Even if they are offended, would it be that big of a deal to you? If I were you and someone I see once a year flipped on me for not being invited to a wedding, I would justify not seeing this person next year period haha.

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  • Charity
    Curious June 2023 Ontario
    Charity ·
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    I do find that I am constantly trying to remind myself that this my wedding!


    I love the idea of only having our immediate family members and close friends that we see all the time At the wedding!!
    Thanks Smiley smile
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  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
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    You're welcome!
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  • Charity
    Curious June 2023 Ontario
    Charity ·
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    Considering I have not booked anything yet I’m not 100% sure but it’s a high possibility that we can afford to have them. I think you have presented a great should I end up not inviting them. Thanks for your thoughts! Smiley smile
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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    I think if you can afford to have them at your wedding go for it. But also rememer, its your wedding and you are allowed to invite whoever you want.
    For my fiance and I, we've decided on only inviting immediate family members and no extended cousins etc and only close friends that we see all the time.
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  • Charity
    Curious June 2023 Ontario
    Charity ·
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    I am envisioning my guest list to be around 130. I’ve been looking around for venues but have not locked one in yet unfortunately but the spaces I am looking at would be able to fit guests 200+. Although I have not booked a venue yet or vendors, I think it would still be able to afford to have them at my wedding, but it just might be cutting it close to the budget.
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  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
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    I think if you can afford to invite them you should! Sounds like they would be fun to have them there! But if budget is a concern you could not invite them and explain that you would like for them to be there but you are on a strict budget.
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    How big were you envisioning your guest list? Do you have your venue locked? Can they fit them in your space? Can you afford to have them there?

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