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Melissa
VIP June 2017 Ontario

Must haves and must not haves

Melissa, on October 3, 2016 at 13:20 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 18

Hi Brides and Grooms!Smiley ring

I was discussing with another bride how I managed to keep my wedding budget in check by making a list of must haves, things we could do without, and things we did NOT want for our wedding, and I am interested to know where other brides stand on these things?

Here is my (shortened) list:

Must have:

Open bar: we knew this is an easy place to cut costs, but we felt it would be inportant to splurge and have this for our guests. We did explore limited bar and drink tickets too.

Dancing: A good DJ was important for us. We love to dance, as do most of our family and friends. So important for a fun wedding celebration for us.

Photographer: We don't have many photos together, we just aren't snap happy people! So having our very special day documented by someoen with a great eye and understanding of our vision was important.

Maybe have :

Hair and Make up artist: I am quite good at doing these things myself, and was willing to compromise to save a little. I will be hiring a hair stylist, but going it alone for make up!

Full dinner: Again, a compromise. We are haivng a tiny ceremony, and will have a sit down dinner with that small group. Our reception will be hors d'ourves only and later in the eveing.

Must not have :

Speeches!: This one was not cost related, we just both dislike sitting through speeches at weddings, so we cut them out of ours! We will say a thank you to everyone, and that is IT!

A big ceremony: We are private people about affection and our relationship. we saved a good deal of money planning a standing only, short and sweet private ceremony for 14 people including us, in a park.

A brand new dress: I want to look nice, and I won't compromise on style, but I am looking to buy a used dress, which will save hundreds of dollars! This also fits my eco-friendly approach!

Smiley flower That was long! thanks for reading!Smiley flower

Please let me know what your lists might look like- I would love to know what other couples are thinking!

18 Comments

Latest activity by Kaytee, on January 26, 2017 at 12:27
  • Kaytee
    Devoted September 2017 Alberta
    Kaytee ·
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    I found it helpful Smiley smile

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    I'm team small BP too!

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  • Lisa
    VIP May 2018 Ontario
    Lisa ·
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    Yes and my FH's brother!
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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    It is super considerate of you to think of that of yur friends Smiley smile Is your MOH your only bridal party?

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    Thanks Kaytee! I wasn't sure if anyone would read something so long, but I thouht is might be helpful for anyone else trying to narrow things down.

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  • Lisa
    VIP May 2018 Ontario
    Lisa ·
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    Hey Melissa,This list is great!!!! Although I don't have anything on not have Lol I want it all!!! In all honesty, one thing I didn't want was a huge bridal party! Im getting married a bit older than most of you, and alot of my friends are married already with kids so I didn't want to ask them to shell out all this money, when I know they have bills to pay. Smiley smile
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  • Kaytee
    Devoted September 2017 Alberta
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    It was a great read Smiley smile

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    HI Karen!

    I am so happy you went sooooo far back and found my post!

    I actually have not had my wedding yet (June!).

    Our plan is to begin our reception at 7:30pm. I have also worded my invites to make it clear that hors-d'oeuvres will be served, and not a sit down meal. We are hoping our guests will understand the meaning and eat dinner, due to the time of our reception....but we are planning on LOTS of food in case!

    I read that about 12 pcs count as a meal replacement- and that seems low to me, but we are not trying to replace a meal. In a before dinner reception 3-4 pcs per person are usually budgeted. So we are going middle of the road and counting on 6-7 pcs a person. We have to order by the dozen, so we will round up depending on attendance.

    We are also going to have a simple pasta bar later in the night when everyone has been drinking, because empty tummies and booze don't mix! I'm not totally set on details of this yet, but I would like to have two or three sauces and some toppings like peppers and chicken to add.

    My venue will serve alcohol until 2 am, and closes out at 2:30. I'm not sure I think that everyone will be there that late, I expect things will die down between 12-1am....but I'll still be dancing!!!

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  • Kacy
    VIP February 2019 Quebec
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    Hello!

    I know you posted this a while ago but I was hoping you could maybe give advice since you managed to figure it out Smiley smile

    You mentioned that the dancing part of your wedding was very important to you, and this is one of my personal priorities as well! Our mutual priorities is the food and making sure our guests are well fed! How did you manage to make sure that everyone was fed for a night of dancing? (May I ask how late your reception lasted?)

    Because of our very tiny budget for our guest list, the best option for us is probably a cocktail reception with tons of hors-d'oeuvres, but I don't know how many hos-d'oeuvres we should serve per person. Any advice on that? I am trying to look at different catering menus and seeing what would be best prior to asking the caterers' advice.

    Thank you in advance!!!

    Karen

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  • Chelsea
    Master August 2017 Ontario
    Chelsea ·
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    Baking can be quite calming and fun!

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    I'm not a pro- but I can make pretty things of they are simple!
    My mom is trying to talk me out of doing mine, because she thinks it will be too much work. ....but I'm going to ignore her. I am taking a few days off before the wedding, so the day before will be baking day. And I'm quite efficient.....it's an enjoyable hobby for me. I think it might help calm me down (I'm sure I'll be stressed by then)
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  • Chelsea
    Master August 2017 Ontario
    Chelsea ·
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    We havn't decided on a hotel yet but we have 3 that are in walking distance from our reception hall as well which is perfect for us and other out of town guests! A limo would be nice in reality but so much extra money that can be spent on other things! That is awesome that you are making your own... My mom owned a bakery but she didn't specialize in wedding cakes and I didn't get any of her talent when it comes to decorating cakes. I can bake some wonderful things... Ask me to decorate and forget it LOL.

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
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    Totally hear you on the Limo! We are just arranging town cars to pick up and drop off when needed for our group! The hotel is walking distance from our reception venue, so no issues there. A limo is a big expense for just a few hours, most of which you won't need them!

    I'm also with you on the cake- I'm making my own, because I can. I've done several weddings before, so I know that this is feasible for me....and only one tier to cut with cupcakes to serve! I dont expect cake to taste great after being frozen for a year, so I'll make an anniversary cake fresh when the time comes!

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  • Chelsea
    Master August 2017 Ontario
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    Must Haves:

    A good photographer to capture all the important moments of the day. We love looking back on photos and memories and this will be one of the most important days of our life so I want it captured beautifully
    A good DJ & MC. I want to have a party at night with everyone on the dance floor. Also in general music plays a big role in my life and so I want the night to be filled with great music!
    Make-up artist & hair stylist! I wear makeup (really only mascara).... But I don't want to look how I always do on my special day and so a professional will really help make me look elegant. I also suck at doing hair. It is either down and straight or its up in a bun after I have just gotten out of the shower!
    Late night lunch. I must have a late night lunch because if guests are drinking, I want them to be eating as well so they aren't drinking on an empty stomach and the food can soak up some of the alcohol.
    Cash bar. We must have a cash bar because it saves me a TON of money! Also I feel that the wedding guests will be more controlled this way and won't drink too much and get stupid or so hammered you black out and such. I just want a good time but nothing too crazy!

    Must not haves:

    A Limo... We don't need to pay the extra money to have a limo for just a couple of hours. We will be renting a nicer vehicle for the day as our car usually has a lot of construction workers in it.
    Open bar... Already explained why we want a cash bar. I just can't afford to pay for open bar and don't want people going to crazy or wild!
    A multi-tier cake. We are just having a nice one tier cake for us to cut and then cupcakes (3 different flavour options) for the guests. People always tell us we need to get 2 tiers because its tradition to save your 2nd tier for your first honeymoon and then you eat it together. I am not a huge cake fan to begin with and my fiance doesn't care for sweets and desserts. It would likely go to waste and I don't see the point in spending extra money to add another layer of cake.

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    We are hoping to book the Toronto Music Garden for our ceremony- the permit restrictions require us to wait until Nov. 1 to book! I'm not a patient person and I'm getting antsy to book the site! If that doesn't work there are a lot of parts around the have great views and scenery- we want tohave the city skyline and nature around us. We really love the city we live in!

    I promise i'll post a picture soon- I just never take any!

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  • Valerie
    VIP April 2017 Ontario
    Valerie ·
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    AGREED!! It's a good day if I remember to put on eyeliner and that's all. And while I am good with my hair, I'd rather have something special I can't do just any ol' day! Hair and makeup... definitely a must-have for me!

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  • Emilie
    Featured Quebec
    Emilie ·
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    Hi Melissa Smiley heart

    I love your idea of must have, maybe have, and must not have Smiley laugh I think it's a great way to establish your priorities and like you said, stay within budget.

    I love your idea of having your ceremony in a park! What kind of park will it be? Is this where you will also have your sit-down dinner?

    I'm glad you're creating all these discussions in the community! It would be great to be able to recognize you with a picture of yourself! I can't wait to see what discussions you'll start next! Smiley smile

    I'm looking forward to see your decoration ideas for your venue!

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  • Nelly
    Expert September 2017 Ontario
    Nelly ·
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    I think hair and make-up artist is a must have for me. I don't wear make-up during the week at all and on week ends usually just lipstick, I wouldn't even know where to begin. Same thing with my hair during the week its always in a ponytail or half up half down. I wanted something glamourous for our wedding

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