Money Registry

View quoted message

For the record, I'm not against cash gifts. And I agree, this is an open discussion, which is why I bring up the points I've made. I'm not pooping on her idea, just noting how things could potentially backfire depending on her situation.

I know with my situation where the likelihood of not having the reception is high, if I sent a gift registry of any kind to those not attending the reception, I will be seen as a gift grabber and our direct families (ie parents and siblings) will not hear the end of it.

View quoted message

I agree that outright asking for someone to give a gift, wedding or not, is tacky. Providing information to a wedding registry isn't tacky. Emailing each individual and saying here's my wedding registry info so you can buy me a gift is.

And Cash funds are more of a norm now. People have been giving cash and cheques as wedding gifts long before the internet and in some cultures and parts of the world money dances at weddings are normal and expected.

In 5 years (pre-covid) I have been to 9 weddings as a friend, family member or wedding party member. Most have had cash funds listed on their registry but there have also been gifts. I have not heard one person complain about it, I have even had a conversation with an elderly aunt about how she had her daughter help contribute to it as well as buying a gift; and how it was nice not to make a special trip to the bank.

Yes, a few people (of any generation) may not agree with cash funds. I didn't think I'd ever have one but I also thought I would have had my wedding 5 years ago and have been living on my own for 11 years, and with my S.O for almost 6 years. The only time that I heard people talk badly about a cash fund is when a couple (my at the time boyfriend's friend) ONLY had a cash fund and specifically wrote at the link that they didn't want gifts and would return gifts received. THAT was tacky.

Everyone's situation is different, and not everyone has associations with the same experiences as yours.

That is why this is an open discussion so she can make her own decision based off of the family and friends that she knows.

View quoted message Oh I can see that maybe for some. All these people were originally invited to our full wedding that was supposed to be last year, invitations were sent just before the shut down. It's a matter of government restrictions and they all know that. Yes some would likely find a way just was a idea to make things easier for them if they wish to do so as they will likely be sent the link to our website where we will post a link to view the wedding virtually and have something on there. Where we are weddings are rarely ever actual gifts. You maybe see a handful of gifts if your lucky besides at the bridal shower if they registered.

View quoted message

I understand where you're coming from but I'm just saying that's how it can be perceived. If you don't care about perceptions, then no biggie but I'm just warning you that a lot of people will feel offended if they see a gift registry without being actually invited. And then there are people who get offended when couples directly ask for cash.

I find family who wants to give a gift will find a way to do it, registry or not. In my experience, they would either show up with an envelope that has cash inside. If they can't physically make it, they'll etransfer the money to a family member who will put it into a gift envelop for you.

View quoted message

The myregistry site. It has a gift registry and the cash fund is also through their site.
(Sorry I started the reply then saw the notification for the other comment and didn't finish the first one haha)

View quoted message That's exactly it. We have some that way as well so I thought it might not hurt. Where did you do your cash fund for home improvements?

View quoted message

I definitely agree that some people will still want to send gifts, especially family. There are definitely families that just enjoy sending gifts, my mother can't travel due to health but she still loves sending gifts for people's birthdays and weddings.

View quoted message We have no idea if we are going to be able to even have a reception at this point. I'm most certainly not asking for gifts but we have family who will likely still want to gift us regardless of a reception and whether or not they will be watching virtually. I figured having something easily prepared might not be a bad idea.

View quoted message We've been thinking about making a small registry as well. Where did you do the cash fund?


We definitely have a website for that purpose!

It's becoming more of the norm that couples are together longer or living together before marriage.

Some people are super traditional and will buy a gift even if you don't register for anything. A number of people I know in similar situations (myself included) still register for replacement items because it's better than to receive 3 waffle irons ... which happened to me one holiday season.

Our pots and pans are almost a decade old so I registered for a new set, and new duvet set, some nice towels etc, as well as having gift cards for Home Depot and a cash fund for home improvements.

This is where a website comes in handy to expand on things that won't fit on an invite.

You can note on the wedding invitations, Monetary Gift is always welcome. Many of our weddings (Indian) have only cash given since the couple can get what they need or put it towards their goals as your planning. It doesn't seem tacky since you two have a family and have everything you need already in your home. Some couples have gone this path of gifts than to get things that will sit aside for years not being used.

Are you having a reception? A lot of people perceive it to be tacky to ask for gifts of any kind if they're not invited to a reception (regardless if it's your choice or the government's).