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A
Curious October 2020 Ontario

MOH has included her daughter

Amanda, on July 8, 2019 at 09:36 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 7
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My best friend told me she was going to be my MOH when I told her about the engagement lol. I'm so happy she is excited and I'm looking forward to sharing my day with her. There's only one thing:

she has four kids (one daughter). I'm there auntie and I love them all. I was planning on a small ceremony with a best man and MOH - No flower girls or ring bearers. Last time I visited my MOH and her daughter took me aside and asked what her job will be at my wedding. What dress will she wear? Will it be the same as her moms? I didn't have the heart to say that she couldn't be a part of the wedding. Now I have to worry about the rest of the kids that will be attending. Does anyone have any idea how to include the kids the family without having to spend more money?

In all, there will be three fourteen year old boys, three boys between 8-10, two boys approx. 5 and one additional girl the same age as my friends daughter.

7 Comments

Latest activity by Rayanne, on July 24, 2019 at 23:18
  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    I'm not having my own children involved. My kids will have clothing that matches wedding theme but will not be part of the ceremony. My daughter will be 6 and youngest son will be 8. My older boys will be 21 and 22 so I'm not having any of them as part of wedding but will coordinate their clothing for pictures.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Your idea of making the MOHs daughter a bouquet holder seems fair and to have her do something. Give a reasonable budget for a dress that will make you both happy. She will wear something that she loves and be part of your day.

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  • A
    Curious October 2020 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    I've been thinking that I might be able to come up with duties for each of them. For my MOHs daughter, she could maybe be the bouquet holder during the ceremony. The older boys could be ushers or something. The others may not want to do anything.

    I always wanted a kid free wedding, but there's no way. For the reception, we will organise a sitter that will keep them busy and get them to bed when it gets late.
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  • Michelle
    Frequent user August 2019 Alberta
    Michelle ·
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    I think there might be a way to make your friend's daughter feel special to you and included, without having her in the wedding (if you were having the rest of the kids). You could still talk with her about a special dress she might like to wear, what you think will be pretty, etc. without her being the flower girl.

    If you don't want any children... that is another conversation to have with your MOH... and it is 100% your call. I would have liked no children, but it wasn't really an option for me because I wanted my godchildren and no one else, which wouldn't have been fair to my FH's nieces lol. So they're all coming. But IMO a 'no children invited' is a great reason for parents to have a night out.

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  • A
    Curious October 2020 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    I totally get what you're saying. I just didn't have the heart to tell a 7 year old that she couldn't be in my wedding.
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I agree with Kelsie - first off, if you don't want kids there then don't invite the kids.

    If you are okay with them attending and just don't want a flower girl or ring bearer - then just tell her you don't plan on having either. She is your best friend after all and I'm sure you should be able to talk to her about anything even if it's a bit awkward.

    If you are simply looking for ideas of what they will do at the wedding... without paying more money.... I'm not quite sure as most ideas would include you paying for colouring books or games for them...

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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    Welcome to WeddingWire!

    i think if you don’t want kids involved, don’t have them involved. It’s your day you don’t have to please other people. So I’d just be honest and say I’m sorry but I wasn’t planning on having any kids be part of the wedding.

    if however, you are ok with it, I would just have them as flower girls or ring bearers! I’m not having these in my wedding but I wouldn’t expect to pay for the dresses/suits so I wouldn’t think you’d need to spend more.
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