Natasha
Devoted May 2021 Ontario

may 22nd 2021 - Stay at home order might end two days before

Natasha, on May 3, 2021 at 15:27 Posted in Plan a wedding 1 32
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My head hurts so much.


This is our 3rd time trying to make this wedding happen.
My FMIL is driving me crazy. She wants to to call the catering and tell them we will take them to small claims. My mom is just sad all the time.
My Fiancé is just done and keeps telling me to assign tasks to him .... but weeks later they aren't done.
I tried to get a marriage license all April but my city told me to call back to make an appointment closer to May 22nd
Now I can't get one at all because they are closed until May 20th and MAYBE we can get one Friday the 21st but it will be by appointment only And they aren't booking them yet.
We downsized to 25 people in our backyard and we STILL CANT HAVE EVEN THAT.
It's been 3 years of this wedding planning .... I'm so exhausted.
Spent money on new deposits for a whole new vendor team who probably still can't provide us with any services. No one is giving deposits back. I don't even care.
I have given up SOOOO much but still can't even do something tiny.

32 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on May 28, 2021 at 12:29
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Your getting hit all sides and yet nothing seems to be coming together at all. One news after another isn't good as the plans should be moving forward than backwards. I know most of the city halls aren't issuing marriage licenses due to the closure except for some that will remain open, though its a drive to make. Your mom is taking a dip for you because of how you feel too and that doesn't seem good. FMIL doesn't sounds she wants to be in control if she is driving you crazy as your husband should actually do what he's asking you to give him for tasks. Its never easy to handle so much stress during this time of planning and really wish you had it smoother. I do hope you find a hall that will issue you a marriage license soon to get you married and over with it. As for the vendors, just let them know you want the pictures done for the elopement and if they will work with your reception date later to do the rest set for next year once spoken to the venue for the date change. I really hope things get better for you.
    • Reply
  • Natalie
    Curious July 2021 Alberta
    Natalie ·
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    I live here in Alberta as well, I am so over this Jason Kenny crap Smiley sad I live in a smaller community we are not in a hotspot, what does that mean am I allowed 10 people or just 5, I have decided on a virtual wedding, my wedding party is the same household, my mother is from NS and they are complete lock down, so my only family cannot be here, my wedding party is 17 people. I have payed for everything already, will loose my money if cancelled, I have been with my husband to be for 17 years, it took 16 years for my ex to finally give me a divorce, lol. I refuse to cancel this wedding, I got my covid shot and everyone that is in my wedding party has gotten it, so what does that mean, pleasee Smiley sad Smiley sad I hope it all works out for us all Smiley sad I had to get my nails done, this past week because I am not sure if they are going to be open, I can fill the my self if needed, I know my wedding is July 31 but they could lock down again, I am not chancing anything, then my daughter was going to be my officiant, she is not talking to me now, family drama. lol so I have to get an officiant, the new one said if it is over 10 she may not do it because she don't want to loose her licence. I am about ready to loose my F*****g Mind. I have 4 flower girls, 2 ring bearers and they are so excited every time they come to aunties they want to try on their dresses. Smiley sad my heart is completely Shattered, I have purchased all outfits, cost me over 4000, and to not be able to have them in the wedding will be a horrible waste of money. then people say well postpone it!

    I am not!!!!!! I have waited all this time to marry my Best Friend/Soulmate I am doin it with or without you'll .. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO ps sorry for my long rant just a Complete MESS!

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  • Lorraine
    Beginner July 2021 Alberta
    Lorraine ·
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    I’m sorry your nerves are shot. Our wedding is July 17. Here in Alberta we are only aloud 10 people in a wedding and 5 people in the back yard now. I have 22 people ( just family) my mother and father live in BC and can not come over. So we are still getting married on the 17th. I am renting 2 witness from the Officiant getting married on her property then going for a hike at Elk island It does suck that I had to cancel my hair and make up and not have anyone else there. It’s about us and only us. My little family of 3 will never forget July 17/2021
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  • S
    Newbie July 2022 Ontario
    Suesan ·
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    I’m sorry girl that’s it’s been stressful...there’s a good chance the stay-at-home orders will be extended until June 2. I’m pretty stressed out about planning my wedding too as I’m afraid things might not go back to normal next year either...I’m over it too only because of the uncertainty and a lot has been going on in my personal life that planning it doesn’t make me happy anymore...Do what’s best for you and your fiancé! My fiancé family wants us to keep planning because they need a happy ending after all this...so I’m waiting until the stay-at-home orders ends and hopefully I will be more motivated and excited to plan. I hope you will get your happy ending, stay positive ❤️
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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    Thank you.


    I can tell you I've exhausted all my patience and hope for a lifetime.
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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    We are slowing picking back up the pieces. Things are so changing so fast AGAIN. Just wow. I'm constantly anxious right now.
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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2021 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
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    I’m so sorry you are having to go through this so close to your big day.Our wedding isn’t until august and my nerves are shot.I am sending any and all remaining positive thoughts your way so that you can have the most beautiful wedding possible.
    • Reply
  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    Oh my goodness thank you for your support. It means so much.


    15 days out and it's just chaos, lmfao.
    At this point if I get to wear my dress on that day and have something that resembles a wedding ceremony - I'll live.
    Postponing is worst at this point. The anxiety of replanning is too much.
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  • Sharlene
    Expert August 2019 Alberta
    Sharlene ·
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    It breaks my heart heart hearing this. I hope some miracle happens and you can go ahead with your wedding.


    As if planning a wedding no matter how many guests isn't stressful enough. Then enter Covid which changes things multiple and has you plan three different weddings.
    I feel for you and the post Covid brides and grooms. I was just telling my husband thank goodness we decided to get married in 2019.
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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    Thank you!
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  • E
    Beginner October 2021 Ontario
    Erika ·
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    Hi Natasha
    I sent you a private message about marriage licenses in Ontario! Smiley smile
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  • Tanis Russell
    Newbie June 2021 Ontario
    Tanis Russell ·
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    I feel your pain! My wedding in June 28th and WHO KNOWS where we will be at that time. We planned for 40 people with our venue plus professional virtual streaming for an additional 100 guests. Our worst case scenario, is to get married on the same day (because that is what is important to us, not the people per se) and stick with our professional virtual stream with whomever can not attend due to whatever the restrictions may be at that time. We would host our reception, once the climate allows, with everyone there. Not much else you can do but go with the flow, whatever that is for you. For us, the important thing is to get married on our date.

    I hope it works out for you! In time it will happen. Keep us posted.

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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    Date twins 💕💕💕 I HOPE we can both do at least 25! I absolutely want an update LOL


    We have three plans One for 25 / one for ten / and one for just a quick virtual ceremony ( then doing pictures and a little cocktail party bbq later in the summer with the original 25 ( maybe 50!? That would be exciting )

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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    Hamilton Ontario. I submitted my application online just after 90 days. The city website said to call to make an appointment because They aren't doing walk ins. I called they said they were issuing licensed for May yet ( this was mid April) but not to worry because my application would still be on file.


    Then I called around 60 days out - they said call 3 weeks before in case of another lockdown we don't want to issue them because then you have to pay again.
    Called a few days into lockdown - the website still said appointments were available.
    They told me no, only for military deployment or death bed situations.
    They said I could email ( can't even remember who) issuer or like deputy or like clerk and try that way but didn't give me any way to contact.
    They said if lockdown lifts on the 20th they would issue again on the 21st. I asked to book an appointment tentative for the 21st because I'm getting married on the 22nd and they said they aren't prebooking.
    • Reply
  • Kir
    Newbie March 2021 British Columbia
    Kir ·
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    Let’s all pray that restrictions ease up. When I started planning my wedding, my list was already 200 guests. I was aiming 120, but DF and I are Indian so that wasn’t possible lol. We took it as a blessing that the provincial government reduced the numbers to 50 because I didn’t want to have a big wedding. When I had a consultation with a wedding planner, she said no dancing would be allowed..which is so depressing. Then they cut it to 10 guests only, no reception, no food served. My immediate family is already 7 people. I can understand your frustration because a lot of time and effort goes into planning a wedding, even if it’s small! I can’t stand people who tell me it’s more about the union then the wedding. Even if it was small, I don’t care but 10 guests, no real celebration with people closest to you? It breaks my heart.
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  • E
    Beginner October 2021 Ontario
    Erika ·
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    Where are you located ? We’re you able to get a marriage license ?
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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    First off I hope next month is better for all provinces in Ontario. My best guest is 25 will be allowed ( maybe 50?)

    My fiancé and I feel like we've done our part in trying to make this as safe as possible ( outside, very limited guest list, formal reception cancelled) and yet we still are being "punished".
    A coworker of my MIL had bylaw called on them for a funeral wake they hosted with ten people in their backyard. The officer was very nice and just told them to keep distance, don't hug or consume food, and keep their makes on BUT that they could have been fined ($750 a person and something like 10k for the organizers).
    YET everything I've read does say you are allowed small ten person wedding ceremonies or funeral services. It's just so frustrating at this point.
    (we got engaged in oct of 2018)
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  • Kir
    Newbie March 2021 British Columbia
    Kir ·
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    I understand your pain. I got engaged Feb 2020 and had to push my dates back 4 times already. I was supposed to get married next month and haven’t booked anything other then makeup and venue. Our province is still telling us 10 guests and no reception. All the research and planning feels like I wasted so much time and other peoples time as well. I’m not going to wait another year to get married, this is getting ridiculous.
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Newbie May 2021 Ontario
    Jessica ·
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    Hey, my wedding is also supposed to be May 22nd, 2021! I totally understand the frustration you're having with all covid has thrown at us brides over the past year. We also had downsized to 25 people in our backyard and were perfectly happy with that, and then the lockdown happened😓. With the lockdown maybe lifting 2 days before its impossible to really know what to do. Even though its extremely stressful and overwhelming I'd suggest having a few different backup options that you would be okay with. At the end of the day YOU have to be happy what you decide to do.
    I hope it all works out for you ❤
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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    That is totally okay. I just needed a vent honestly.
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  • Andrea
    Newbie June 2021 Alberta
    Andrea ·
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    I don’t have anything constructive to add, but just that I completely understand Smiley sad(
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  • Natalie
    Curious July 2021 Alberta
    Natalie ·
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    I know I waited 16 years for this wedding, I can sick over the fact I cannot have it the way I wanted,

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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    Thank you. It means so much to get just a little encouragement.
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  • Natalie
    Curious July 2021 Alberta
    Natalie ·
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    I hope it gets all lifted for your wedding, i dont think it will here, people wont even stay home when told

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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    I feel for you and everything you are saying.


    We've downsized to the bare minimum and we still feel like we are going to be shutdown. We have ten people from two households and we can't even have a basic dinner together.
    We don't even care about having a reception anymore, but it really feels like even the bare minimum is frowned upon
    We happily postponed the first time in and effort to keep everyone safe, the second time sucked but we downsized pretty quickly from there, and now a 3rd it just hurts and sucks.
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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    Not having a license just sucks but yes we are totally willing to do the legal stuff later.


    We just rebook with new deposits in April when things were open. That's also when I stopped working again for the 3rd time during covid.
    The stress and the money as sorta on par right now. Smiley sad
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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    We have a virtual livestream already set up for those who can't come.


    The tiny ten person ceremony is want is already sketchy with bylaws. So many conflicting messages.

    Other Problem is we can't even have a "reception" with our immediate family. It's currently zero indoors and 5 outside. Which is crazy because then ten of us are only two households and like .... we just wanna have a basic dinner together.

    I'm in the midst of starting a new job because of being laid off so Im honestly too nervous to start asking for other weekends off ( they already approved the weekend of the 22nd off )
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  • Natalie
    Curious July 2021 Alberta
    Natalie ·
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    I am here for you, I live in Alberta, we are having our wedding regardless, my wedding party is immediate family, if it comes down to it we are have a virtual wedding only, we have a online wishing well for gifts, if the family from away want to give us a present, ,my mother cannot come beause of covid, she lives in nova scotia and they are on complete lock down, I have been stressing over this wedding since we started planning it, from family arguments, to covid.I payed for everything, if we cannot have a reception I do not care anymore, All I care about is that I get to marry my best friend and love of my life,

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    I am so sorry that you're going through this.
    If you can't get a certificate are you willing to have a symbolic ceremony and do the legal bits later? You could have a celtic handfasting ceremony, or a religious ceremony where you're married in the eyes of god without all the paperwork, or even exchange vows with a friend as the "officiant". Then when life gets more normal have a legal wedding in whatever fashion you want (courthouse, vow renewal, big shindig etc).


    Honestly, at this point would the stress of losing those deposits be bigger than the stress of changing plans again? If not then it may be time to cut your losses and let it go so you can move on and begin your happily married lives together. Does it suck? Absolutely. Is it a solution? Not really. Is the stress outweighing the joy? Then ditch the stress.
    • Reply
  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    I'm so sorry Natasha. I know how difficult is to keep changing plans during the pandemic.

    If postponing again isn't an option, have you considered having a very small ceremony once you can get your marriage license - maybe with immediate family only - and postponing the reception to a time when it's safer? I know it isn't ideal or what you had planned, but it might be your only option given the state of Ontario at the moment. Virtual ceremonies/receptions can also work if you get creative, but I know they aren't for everyone.

    Regardless of what you choose to do, maybe think about taking a break for a couple of days from thinking about the wedding and watching/reading covid news would be a good idea. I know it's hard to do but our brains can only handle so much stress and there's only so much you can do at the moment anyway.

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  • Natasha
    Devoted May 2021 Ontario
    Natasha ·
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    We just don't want to postpone again


    It's really heartbreak every time

    We've been engaged for three years and postponed 3 times
    Our friends and family have gotten three separate invites and uninvites from us.

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  • Brittany
    Devoted December 2022 Yucatán
    Brittany ·
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    Hey, although I am not having a wedding during the pandemic - but is the option of postponing for a year okay? A lot of people are in the same boat with the current restrictions and the numbers not getting any better.

    I know in Alberta, all the vendors are allowing people to post pone their date and not charging extra.

    Maybe talk to your fiancé about this possibility? It may be easier and less stressful for everyone.

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