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Beginner May 2023 Ontario
Married in 2020 without wearing wedding dress - wedding postponed again
I'm wondering if there are any other COVID couples who got legally married in 2020 but postponed their wedding to 2021, and are now realizing they may have to postpone again.
We were originally supposed to get married in June 2020. When covid became a thing, our venue offered us 2 dates: October 2020 and May 15th 2021. We decided to go with May 15th, as it gave us more time (hoping covid would be gone). Given the uncertainty of whether things would actually be better in May 2021, we decided last minute to get legally married on May 15th 2020 at my parent's house (so we could at least be married) and planned to have our wedding on our one year anniversary.
Our "marriage day" (May 2020) was super small, I didn't get to wear my wedding dress, my husband and I got ready together, and also walked "down the aisle" together. Although it was beautiful, it was nothing like we'd planned and I still have this unfulfilled desire to wear my dress and have my dad walk me down the aisle. I have so many mixed emotions about the whole thing - one, I am happy to be married to my best friend, but two, I am so sad that our future wedding will no longer be as important (we've already done the most important thing - getting married). I just so badly want our wedding day to matter, and for it to feel like a wedding - not just a party, and not a vow renewal - because in my mind, we haven't had our wedding, even though we are married.
Now it is seeming like we'll have to postpone again. Given that we got married last year with 11 people there, it seems odd to do the same thing again but in our wedding attire. I think we'd rather wait to be able to celebrate with more of our family and friends. But, we're hoping to start trying for a family this summer/fall, so postponing to 2022 doesn't make sense. It's seeming like our wedding will be in a couple years from now (hopefully 2023?), when we've got our own baby - which isn't a bad thing, I just worry that our wedding is becoming less and less important (perhaps less and less of a milestone, or celebration of one?), and I'm super sad about that. I honestly wish I had worn my dress last year, so that we could call it a day and not have to worry about a future wedding. But to be fair to myself, too many things were closed (we were still in hard-core lockdown) and it just wasn't feasible at the time to have my dress altered and ready.
I feel a little guilty for feeling sad. I've been thinking ahead to our first anniversary this May and how I'll be sad that our wedding isn't happening, yet knowing I should be (and still am) happy that it's our 1st anniversary. Although my husband tries his best to understand, he doesn't really see it the same way as me, so it's hard to get validation from him about this. He is just happy we're married, which inadvertently adds to me feeling more guilty and confused. And, we've been on one hell of a ride planning this wedding (I'm sure many others can understand), so he's a bit burnt out talking about the same things over and over.
All this to say, I am wondering if there are others in the same situation...-Is anyone else having these same feelings? -Does anyone else have a "marriage day" and a separate "wedding day"? If yes, what are you doing/did you do to make your wedding (not marriage) important? -For those who've had to postpone their wedding, how are you handling being married yet feeling like you'd still really like to have a wedding, even given the uncertainties of covid? -Are there others who didn't get to wear their dress on the day they got married, and that is fueling you to persevere and hopefully have a wedding some day? -And, are there others who will now probably have infants at their postponed wedding?-Do you have any insight/advice/encouragement?
For anyone sharing their experience - thank you. Knowing there are others in a similar situation, and learning from what you're doing to address these things, is so helpful and means so much. And, even if you don't have advice, thank you for listening. XO.