Managing your stress with wedding planning

View quoted message

Hi Michelle,

This is definatly something I could do! Appreciate the feedback

View quoted message What a great idea! I’m going to try and start doing this. It’s completely logical, why have I never even thought of this!!? Thank you.

Hi Becky!

Wedding planning IS stressful. There are so many little details and budgets to pay attention to and the list goes on and on and on. We talked a lot about stress in one of my classes, and the one thing that helped me was to write out what I was stressed about and then write out what I could do to 1) Solve it or 2) Ask for help with the situation. In the end, its an exciting time of marrying the love of your life and that thought makes me unbelievably happy!

Hope that helps

View quoted message

Thank you Vinod, at times I really wish we would have just eloped. I do want to get married but being in this other wedding and how much we have dealt with there, it makes me not want to have the huge day.

I seemed to manage well with everything happening and having to hear so much from my family and husband while I was working all through the time before taking time off for the wedding.

So the tension was building up due to comments made based on the fact that one event was for the bride, yet generations changing and times change to have for what I wanted and left it. My husband said when I came home after seeing my family how negative they are and not wanting to do this or that and having to absorb all the ranting from both sides and no support or positive affect from them all. Planning and discussing with vendors was also another thing and then costs husband thought were too much (realistic pricing though) and why we have to spend so much. One time halfway, he decided we shouldn't get married and lost 1 good vendor and another that wasn't needed losing some of the deposit.

Its hard to take everything in and having to deal with wedding parties being big. Just put your foot down and do what you need to do and say how it is for them to understand your the BRIDE and they are not. Your vision and your day is important if they feel they want to be happy for you or just not be part of your side standing by you.

Taking sometime to yourself away from everything of the wedding is nice with your FH and just to go out enjoying the company and fresh air is needed. Always remember, as much as you feel suffocated inside, breath while being calm and cool.

View quoted message

Thanks Shyrelle!

I like taking a walk with headphones and loud music to let myself breath and refocus. I'd recommend altering your supplements too, add ashwagandha and a B complex

View quoted message

Welcome My computer at work crashed and then came up with this idea. I have excel spreadsheets saved in my onedrive and the other lists for different things. Its honestly helped a lot!

View quoted message

Oh this is a great idea!

I will have to spend some time putting all this together! So much better having one list that you can access everywhere! Thanks Becky

View quoted message

We are having a social as well and man it has been stressful. I am not good when things are out of my control and hoping we produce money from it.

View quoted message

Yea I have anxiety on a normal day and its through roof lately from dealing with people and conflict. Which I am not good with. I started doing walks at night and few other things to help it. Agree with the dog part haha I take mine every time.

View quoted message

Very true! Thanks Melissa! to me i don't really care about centerpieces and all that. Its the set up and decore. But really no one could care less in the end.

View quoted message

I started doing lists on my onedrive-hotmail area where you can save documents. this way no matter where I go have the same lists! This has really helped me.

View quoted message

Wow yea it sounded like worked out for you in the end by opting out of it! I think not having a wedding party would be a huge stress release for me as well. Def same way with supper stressed equals less work. I need to get organized this weekend with different things

View quoted message

Hahah sometimes it's for the best to share less details with some people (like FMIL's and bridal parties). Good thing is all this stress is just for one day lmao!

To be honest, I have found every step of planning to be stressful, but I think that is largely because I didn't want the kind of wedding we are having lol. But I manage it by talking to my FH - he doesn't care what people think, as long as we like what we're doing, so he always calms me down when I have one of my planning meltdowns.

I'm not really finding the wedding planning to be stressful. In the beginning when there were large deposits to make, that was stressful. Now that we have our vendors all booked, and have had time to build up a wedding savings account to make payments from, this stress has subsided.

The social however was a nightmare to plan and I'm so happy its behind us.

The things I keep in mind to combat stressing over the details is that none of the guests will remember the details, so they aren't worth the stress. Cannot remember what a single centrepeice looked like at any of the weddings I've been to.

Millions of lists! Though...I am 17 days away and the thought of all of how many lists I have is stressing me out haha

Making time for you (NO wedding talk/things/etc) is so important...even just an afternoon of it. Catch up on Netflix, etc.

I have also found that working out has really helped settle my mind. (I have anxiety on a good day, so wedding planning has made it even worse some days haha) I do two intense work outs a week and I try to fit in a few lighter ones (though lately I havent been able to) even taking my dog on longer walks helps a bit (and tires her out so it is a win-win!)

As a few others have said! LISTS

I have 4 or 5 checklists I'm going through that I have found online plus I have my own lists of little things to do, big things to do, things to remember the day of!

I'm sure I could make a list of lists I have at this point hahaha!

Also take some time away from planning to relax ad enjoy each other! You're still engaged and should celebrate it along the way!

My FH has been so good helping me cope with stress. When all of this started I was working 2 jobs, sometimes 20 hours a day, and he works out of town so it was super difficult to get anything done. Even from a distance, he has been incredible with even just listening to me rant and talk out what needs to be done still.

My FMIL and MOH have also been so good at helping out in every way.

Besides that, LISTS LISTS LISTS! And setting reasonable deadlines for yourself. Get things done that you know are super important. I read a comment on another discussion from a bride (I can't remember who it was.. ) and she basically said if you don't remember it from someone else's wedding, people won't remember it at yours so don't worry about it. Ex: making centerpieces perfect, or place cards, etc.

WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN. For too long I was lying awake in bed trying to remember everything I have to do and being frustrated. Just get up, and make a list whenever you think of something!

I think I manage it just by making a million lists.

I have one on my work computer, one in my planning binder, and then one on my computer at home. Every time I see something helpful in a discussion on here, I have a screenshot album on my phone for me to remember to add to a list.

Trying to stay super organized is key. I don't know if its a good thing, or bad thing yet that my wedding party hasn't participated in any planning, or asking if i needed help. So I am not worried about something being done differently than I would do it

I’m so happy I decided to not have a wedding party! The ladies I would have had (my sisters and my SIL) have not offered an ounce of help, they don’t ask about the wedding at all, unless it’s where their sitting, and my SIL isn’t even coming now. Haha. I do everything on my own, which I actually think cuts down stress. I’m very specific with the way I want things, so it’s probably better I do it myself. I will admit though, when I get super stressed out, I stop being productive. Lol. So I’m definitely behind with things. It’s a good thing I work really well under pressure. Lol. I had to stop talking to people about the wedding, it was stressing me out with everyone’s opinions. Not every choice will make every person happy. So I’ll do what makes FH and I happy.

View quoted message

That's a good idea! I need to get organized of what money is left. Haha love the last point. I basically feel this way about the wedding party.

View quoted message

Wow thats great! glad your wedding party is able to help out

Avoiding my mother is stress relieving tip number 1 for me! Haha.

I have been stressed to the max too. I haven't asked much of my wedding party so they are pretty easy... besides trying to get them all together at one time is impossible.

But my mother is difficult. And ruins anything fun and happy for me. She doesn't like my dress. Doesn't like certain people invited. Told me my decor looks cheap... Told me my FH doesn't make enough money. Asked me to give her money, a large amount too... (Even though she makes more than both of us combined)

I also have a lot of family drama between members.. and am worried people are going to start shit the day of.

The whole family member throwing their wedding the weekend before ours fiasco.

And I have been doing everything myself.. my FH is great. But he can't make decisions.. isn't crafty.. and isn't responsible enough to organize anything... and my MOH lives in a different city and in Uni with a full course load so I feel bad asking her to do much. Plus delegating stresses me out more.. I would rather just do it and then I know it's right.

Then there is the being behind in budgeting thing too...

When I get super stressed I try to take some time to decompress. The weather is getting nice.. go for a walk. Take a bubble bath with a glass of wine. Go to the gym or for a run. And most importantly remind yourself the reason why you're doing this, and how great your FH is. Go have a special date night with FH. It doesn't have to cost a lot either. Just take time to actually enjoy being engaged and celebrate that you are going to be getting married. You deserve a break sometimes!

And of course Make sure you have someone to vent too when needed. Or just vent to us!

I’ve been having a rough time lately, not necessarily all “wedding stress” but work stress leading to wedding stress.

It got really bad this past weekend and I wasn’t managing it well at all.

this week, after my awful weekend, I’m viewing the whole process with new eyes. If I need to scale back, I’ll scale back to save some money. My FH has been a great sounding board for me - I tend to be more panicky and he is extremely calm all the time.

So just lots of communication, after a lot of tears this past weekend.

you can’t control everything and for a Type A like me that is so so difficult to grasp! So just trying to be as positive as possible and having a positive mind set is what’s working for me so far right now.

I seem to be managing my stress by keeping organized. I know when payments are due, what's to be expected from each vendor, and what needs to get done next. I haven't delegated too many (if any) tasks to anyone since I feel confident in my ability to do them myself. Oh, and the less I talk to FH's mother about the wedding, the better my stress levels are

Lately I have been managing my stress by delegating lol.

My FH and I work different schedules so I was stressing about when we are going to get the marriage license because I have so many other things to do and he works basically the same shift as those at city hall. My solution to the stress was asking him to book a day off work and go to the get the license on his own (if it's on a day that I work).

The best part is that my parents, FH and some wedding party members are all happy to be asked to do things. So happy that my FH and his groomsmen all offered to take over the task of making chair decorations! It's been great