Makeup Professional or Self?

HI Michelle,

The beauty of professionally done makeup is that these artists know exactly how to do the makeup so that your face doesn't look washed out after your photographer edits the photos. Plus, they will set your makeup so that it typically lasts longer especially if you're going to be running around all day.

It would be rude to force your bridesmaids to pay for something they don't want to have done. Your friends could also not be as financially well-off. And being a bridesmaid does add up significantly. So if you're feeling like you want them all to get their makeup professionally done then you should be offering to pay for the service. I've been to so many weddings this past decade (around 30) and I hear the same thing over and over again with wedding party drama and people not being friends after the wedding. So for my wedding, I just paid for all the dresses/hair/makeup so that my bridesmaids since they were paying for my bridal shower and part of my trip to LA for my bachelorette.

I got my makeup done for my sister's wedding, I found that there was a lot of shine in the pictures. I know there is blotting paper for that, but who has time to blot every time a photo is taken. This time round for my own wedding , I will be doing my own makeup. It's very generous of you to cover all those costs, but unless you have unlimited budget I think paying for makeup is not essential for having good photos.

I would honestly let them do their own but let them know what type of look you are going for and explain that you'd like them to all be looking similar for a nice flow in the pictures. I've had my makeup done professionally multiple times and it's been a disaster every time. I will even be doing my own makeup at my wedding because I can't trust anyone to get it right. Maybe have a girls night "practice session" well before the wedding to try and give them an idea of what you want and to give them a chance to perfect it. 😉

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I would try to work it out with her regardless since in close group friends- she is in same group and we are both in each others wedding. Is there any major changes in her life financially and she just doesn't want to say she can't afford it? She may be embarrassed there and doesn't want to say this is the reason behind it.

View quoted message That's 100% true. My FH is saying either way if we have her in the wedding party or not I still have to make up with her since she's still a significant part of the friend group. I just feel strongly that I would rather have my closer friend be in the wedding party. I feel like the one causing the issues will hold a big vendetta against me for this for life, which isn't something I want. But I also don't want for the whole friend group to be affected by me making that decision.

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I just gave her the kick to the curb and it worked in my favor kinda. But I wish would have stuck to my guns and just had my other friend in it. Its disappointing regardless because this isn't what you expected from your friend going in!

View quoted message That's literally the exact same position that I'm in. My FH thinks I should mend it with this friend, even though he doesn't like her. I'm conflicted, I want to, but I don't. I other close friend is the same size as her and would fit the dress and has even offered to buy it from the girl. Our parents are saying to kick the girl to the curb and let my other friend step in in her place. But I feel like I'm letting both girls down depending on which way I go.

View quoted message I had a really bad experience with one of my bridesmaids and finally said I’m done with this and said very calmly and nice but still had valid points and then she called crying. Apologized and e transferred what I needed and has helped out since. I don’t think she took me seriously and thought I would do this because I’m not the type to. I had someone already able to and same size to buy her dress. I was kinda annoyed and felt like had to keep her so did but she did step up.

View quoted message Not in person yet no, one of the bridesmaids is refusing to pay, so we offered everyone an apology about how our expectations are clearly different, we've told them what we're expecting them to pay for and be involved with and 3 out of the 4 have said yes they agree and they'll pay for their own. But the forth is being very difficult, we even went as far as to ask them all to reconsider being in our wedding party since it was everyone that was first expecting us to pay for everything and they get to be like free guests or something. We haven't gotten to talk to any of them in person and it's been almost 2 weeks. I'm at my wits end and I'm very tempted to ask the bridesmaid to step out because I have another friend I want to step in. But it's very difficult because she's in our close friend circle and there wouldn't be a friendship after that. But to be honest there was never really a friendship before. I have no idea what to do. I feel like I can't enjoy planning for my wedding because of this girl and all of this drama.

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That's a very generous offer from the Matron of honor! I don't know what they were expecting either but they should be paying for themselves, have you had a chance to talk to them all in person about it?

View quoted message They haven't paid a single cent besides less than the dresses that we covered for them.
I have no idea what they were expecting when they said yes to being in the wedding party. I even have my matron of honor saying that in order to make my day perfect she's willing to pay for everyone's makeup and hair. Which is completely unacceptable. She is not allowed to do that whatsoever and no one should be expecting that of her.

I’ve been in three wedding parties, and two times the bride paid to have my makeup done, and the other time I did it myself. I think if you want them to follow a specific style just ask, they are your closest friends and I’m sure they want to make you happy. If you plan on getting ready together just kindly ask them to keep it natural and leave any falsies off.

I really think you should let them do their own makeup.. They wills till look like themselves, no one wants to look like an idiot, so your worst case senario is someone doesn’t wear enough, which just means they look more authentic! SO as long as they look like themselves I said let them do their own makeup and save your money for more important things!

I’m personally going with my own makeup! But I might have someone come do our hair, I want a more natural relaxed look so thats why I keep saying I might!!

I would say that the makeup and hair is mandatory. When someone signs up to be in the wedding party they should know what is expected, example; dress, helping with buck and doe- including a prize donated, paying for hair and makeup, throwing a shower. I have been in two wedding party's and every time this was expected and I did so accordingly. It all depends on area but they have had months and months of notice to save for it. I get its expensive at times. But same time you only get one day and you want everyone to look nice. With the dresses you picked out, it would look odd if they DIY their own makeup. You should not be having to pay for this too!

I am so sorry your wedding party is being like this. What have they paid for besides half of a dress? I would say it from that point of view, and also asked what they had expected when they joined. Like approach it nicely but talk to them as this is a big issue.

View quoted message I feel like it would make the day better and I want them to be pampered. It comes down to being my wedding, I want to feel like I'm having the best experience possible, since it's only going to happen once. I've offered to negotiate prices, but it's looking like I'll be paying for it all. I just hope that when they get married and if I'm asked to be in the party than they will understand where I'm coming from now with my point of view.

I gave my girls the option to get their hair and makeup done, but they had to pay for it since I paid for their dresses. Some of them picked one or the other and some of them picked neither. They all looked gorgeous and honestly it didn’t matter that some of them did their hair and or makeup themselves.

I think if you have already purchased dresses and gifts for them you shouldn’t have to pay for hair and makeup, but also if they would rather do it themselves and you want to have it done professionally it would be very nice to cover it for them. Depends if it’s in the budget I guess.

If I had a larger bridal party I’d want them to have their hair and makeup done professionally. It just makes everyone look more uniform on the big day.

I’m paying for my MOH and mother’s hair and makeup on my wedding day and I feel good about it. It’s my gift to them for all the work they’ve put in and I know it will make them feel good on the day of.

View quoted message This is what's going to end up happening.. The highest amount for makeup that they're willing to pay seems to be $30 or less. So that's $605 for everyone, otherwise it's $730, likely tax on that too.

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Not too much to ask at all!

I say to save the money - if they aren't willing to pay up, there is no reason that you should. It's makeup, and if anything it will make you look better in comparison!

I already plan on telling my girls the same type of info as I won't be paying for makeup unless a friend of a friend can do it for cheap. (Like saying neutral makeup, no bold lip, no fake lashes unless we all do, and just... have each others best interest in mind if their makeup looks bad let them know!)

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I’m sure it’s not that they’re unenthusiastic about being pampered but shelling out $60 for a face of makeup is a lot if they can do it themselves. (I pay less than that for a container of MAC foundation that lasts me months) I know personally for me that’s a lot of money when I am perfectly capable of doing my own makeup quite nicely. If you want them all to be the same and want it professionally done then honestly you should be paying for it.

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I totally get that! Have you spoken to them about it or are you worried they may take it the wrong way?

View quoted message We can work it into our budget.. I really just wish they could be more enthused with being pampered.

They're all in the exact same dress. I want similar makeup for each of them and same with their hair, minus one girl's hair is much shorter than the others.

If it's that important to you that they have their makeup be the same quality and style, it may be best to pay for them to have their makeup done if you can work it into your budget.

As long as you're okay with different hairstyles, then they can still cover the cost of their hair.

Ok, I know I don't want it to be too obvious, if they're wearing foundation that doesn't match the same colour as their necks. If they're over exerting they're features, I don't want them to stand out more than me because they're all extremely beautiful and I feel like I'm average and that they very well may draw more attention than myself. 😔I also don't want any obvious zits so to cover those up. I feel like if one person wears eyeliner than everyone should, but at the same time, if one person isn't, than no one should. Or if I'm wearing eyeliner than they shouldn't? Absolutely no fake lashes. Is that too much of me to ask? Should I wait until I have my trial done before deciding? Also, when does a makeup trial usually take place?

I personally think my wedding party will do their own makeup and hair, unless they are willing to pay for it. If it really stresses you out, maybe discuss openly about it with them, maybe show them some exemples of what you're expecting the style to look like and ask them if they are ok with it... If they are not sure, go through some pictures of them on their Facebook, find a look that resembles what you want or that you'd be ok with and tell them that this look would be perfect! Remember that your wedding party is made of very different people that you all love for how unique they are! Maybe think of it as a way to let them be their unique self!? And with guidelines it can't really go wrong I think!

Not a bad thing at all. Literally didn't even give my girls guidance on their hair/make-up, just asked that no one do anything crazy. They all just did a neutral glam look.

Don't fork out the extra cash, when all you need to do is tell them you want "X" Look... whether that's a specific colour, no colour, no dark lipstick, whatever. You can create guidelines for them to follow on their own, and it doesn't need to be done by a professional.

Even I did my own makeup, and only paid for a hair stylist...

At my cousins wedding I went total bridezilla on her behalf, and made a 'guideline' list for the bridesmaids: neutral make-up, up-do a certain way, stud earrings, no heavy jewelry, black dress shoes, etc...

You don't have to go that excessive, but if you want to say, lighter on the make-up and no bold colours please, that's totally fine.