Maid of honour vs bridesmaid

I think an emergency kit would be appreciated, it’s not necessary but a nice thing to do for sure. I would get everyone’s contact info and start a group chat where you all can talk. This is what my bridal party is doing since we live in three different cities as well. You can use the group chat to plan the shower and bachelorette. You can also reach out to the brides mother and maybe her FMIL as well depending how involved she is. My MOH reached out to both moms. I think it’s good to take some control she chose you to be the “chief”. Hopefully the girls start to help there’s only so much you can do so don’t be too hard on yourself! Talk to the bride if you can’t get ahold of bridesmaids that’s what my MOH has done and I help her get some answers from bridesmaids or pass along messages. I don’t mind helping with planning my bachelorette it’s a lot of work and when other bridesmaids aren’t helping I’m not making my MOH do it all alone!

That’s sounds really rough. Have you spoken with the bride to ask her what her expectations are of you as MOH? Once you know what the bride wants, that will make your role more clear. Remember, ultimately you are going to be up there supporting your friend on a very important day of her life ☺️

I was MOH once and had no idea what was expected so I asked the bride. I didn't need to plan a shower because her mom was. I did plan the bachelorette, and since she only wanted to invite the bridal party, I planned it myself so the others could be surprised as well. If it had been bigger, I would've included the bridesmaids.

I did put together an emergency kit (just one for all of us) but nothing was needed. The only issue we had that I helped solve was the bride's grandma was missed on the seating chart, so I got an extra place set for her at the proper table.

I think it's fine to take charge but I would double check with the bride. Sometimes it doesn't work out well; I think it depends how well the bridesmaids know each other and the MOH.

For my friend's wedding, the MOH planned the whole shower herself, wasn't able to come, and we were scrambling to organize it all last minute. In that case, it would've been better if we had all been involved in the planning so we all would've known how the shower was supposed to go.

I wasn't the MOH for my cousin, but her MOH dropped the ball and if it wasn't for me a lot of stuff wouldn't have got done. Maybe touch base with the bride and just make sure she's comfortable with you taking charge and contacting the other girls. If she says go for it, you can then go to the bridesmaids and say that the bride has asked you to ensure these things are handled amongst all of you. Sometimes people need a swift kick in the pants to get in gear.
If there are still issues after that, the bride should really check in and talk to them.