Location, location, location

I'd have a discussion with your VIPs from both families (as few people as possible so you can actually get things done!) and find out if they are able to travel and how far, and when. We had to do this when I got married, it was very important to me to get married where I grew up, so we had a discussion with my DH's parents first to make sure they would be willing and able to travel abroad to where I'm from to attend, since we would not want to get married with out them! If they had said no we would have had the wedding where they lived since we knew my parents would be willing to travel wherever. If everyone is open to traveling if necessary, then I agree that it will be much easier to plan where you live.

I live in Ottawa and am getting married in Cobourg (3 hours away) and that has been tricky at times for planning. I would suggest sticking to having your wedding where you live and then maybe doing a party down East after the wedding. If people really want to attend your wedding, they will find a way to do it no matter where it takes place.

Having the wedding where you and your FH live would be much easier because of the amount of planning involved. I realize that it will cost people to travel. If they can't afford to travel, maybe you could visit them after the wedding and they might want to have a small party for you out east instead of spending the money on airfare and hotels. It's cheaper for you to go east than for all of them to travel to Ontario.