Little rant- to elope or to hold out hope

Good evening Maegan. I just read your post that you wrote in July. When I read it i was like omg she is writing exactly what i was thinking of. I am starting to feel the exact way. My wedding is Aug 2021 and when this all happened March this year I truly thought us 2021 brides wouldn't be in this boats as the 2020 brides. I am a bit stressed and can not stop thinking what am i going to do.

It will be great to hear how you are doing now 3mths later after your post and if you came to a decision.

hope you are well

View quoted message I know I'm late to this discussion but just wanted to thank you for sharing! I had all the same feelings. We ended up having a mini ceremony/reception with 26 people outdoors. It was perfectly imperfect and we postponed to July of 2021 with our venue (only options were to cancel and loose our non-refundable deposit or postpone). Honestly was one of the most difficult decisions because there is no right answer! I'm glad I'm married now, and we didn't put our lives on hold in that sense and so grateful I'll have the wedding I envisioned and worked so hard fornext year with all our loved ones. It's been hard coming to terms I'll have two weddings... felt sorta guilty and selfish for that but

I would say elope now and have a party later(if possible) This is just my opinion. My wedding was suppose to be May 30 2020 and we postponed to May 22 2021. The second we postponed I felt so much better not having to worry about everything constantly changing. Im not worried about being disappointed of things being cancelled or limited amount of people or masks being mandatory. To be honest the whole wedding experience for me has been ruined anyways so now even if next year it gets cancelled we both discussed it and said we are cancelling our wedding.


Things we did discuss was waiting a year just to cancel again means just another year of not being married. One less wedding anniversary. And letting covid win? Having your wedding is super important and being upset about it is so valid. I have cried multiple times over mine (felt so stupid for it too) but its not fair to any of us that this is happening.
Do something for you guys. Do something that makes you feel good. Even if it is a complete secret and just you two know and plan for the wedding next year. If it gets cancelled again next year tell your family we eloped last year and a wedding just isn't ment to happen. Get a photographer elope at gorgeous outside location and have amazing photos and do the whole wedding day experience with the two of you or you guys and witnesses. Do something for you to make YOU happy.

The changing dates and updates are very upsetting when knowing you want a celebration. Sometimes, we have to realize the fact of guest list won't be the same as whom can be present for a immediate family ceremony. Anniversary celebration can be an option for next year if that is a compromise to have all the locals come out.

I can relate to this 100%! Our wedding day was originally set for May 30, 2020 as well. We ended up getting legally married in our backyard because we couldn't return our marriage licence that we had gotten just before the offices closed. We then moved the big wedding to August 14, 2020. Now we've been bumped to May 21, 2021 and were advised to create a guest list of only 30 people, possibly 50 if we're lucky. The venue even said we may not have use of indoor facilities. To pay 28K for a party with 30 people including ourselves, socially distanced, on a patch of grass is pretty upsetting. We now have a baby on the way and none of the stress or the emotional roller coaster feels worth it anymore. We even lost a few of our grandparents in the process of replanning. This pandemic is making alot of us feel incredibly overwhelmed, the venues included, but it's also putting alot of financial strain and heartbreak on couples. Do what feels right to you. Maybe you can have an intimate wedding first & then a vow renewal/anniversary party the following year at your venue for the wedding you want.

I got married July 18 and we did an out door ceremony with 45 people. We just did a ceremony and had a bonfire. Next year we will have a reception with all of our wedding guests

We were supposed to be married back in April in Mexico, after having my pity party in March when we officially cancelled we started to look at other options. Now we are having our ceremony & reception in our backyard (Luckily we have the space). Our guests are encouraged to constantly wash their hands, keep their distance and wear a mask if they would like. When they go for food or anything they must put on a mask but we are hoping that people are just respecting each other. Instead of sitting people close together for the ceremony people will be sitting in the social bubbles at their tables that we have planned out already. We will just be taking as many precautions as we can including having out guests bring their own booze which they were all down to do!

One thing is for sure, Vendors have been amazing when it comes to Covid-19 and most have been very accommodating when it comes to their cancellation policy just incase. Once you finally get to have your day it will be amazing whatever you plan on doing! We aren't having the wedding we had hoped for, if anything it is going to be even better than we imagined!

Good Luck!

Hey, I am in the same boat as you where we were supposed to get married in 3 days however we have postponed to May 21, 2021. I have not really been too worried or allowed myself to be until Alberta's numbers started going up again. I am still not going to worry too much until it gets closer but it is for sure on my mind. We always did have a small wedding planned of 65 people and those are the most important to us so we are hoping we can keep them all but if not we will just have to think of plan C.

I totally get it. We're having our ceremony this year (covid willing) with our closest people, or none if regulations change, and the reception is next year. It wasn't until a newly engaged friend explained why they were looking at 2022 dates that I started to think about what still might not be allowed next year. But if we can't dance and drink and party next year then we are not paying for a reception. I'm glad we didn't postpone the whole thing, because all the uncertainty would drive me bonkers.

Definitely feel the same way. Every now and then I ask my FH if he is sure we can't just elope in someone's back yard. Then we decide not to because we don't want to do a ceremony and then reception years later of we don't have to to avoid excluding people. If reception restrictions are still in place by next year we have agreed we will elope then. A year isn't a huge deal but more than that is too long. We got engaged in July of 2017 so we are both tired of waiting, but trying to stay hopeful for next year.

We're pretty much in the same position as you, and we decided to go the route of having a smaller ceremony this year on our original date, regardless of what that looks like. We're still planning to have a full reception at a later date, but we aren't sure when that will be because our venue is being demolished and won't exist after this year - long story.

I just think there's so much uncertainty as to when things will go back to normal. I think we'll be very lucky if we have a vaccine by next May and even if we do it will take time to vaccinate everyone and ensure we have widespread immunity before restrictions are fully lifted.

There isn't really a right answer as to what to do in this situation. You've just got to think about what is most important to you. If it's having the big wedding with no restrictions, then maybe it makes sense to wait for that to happen. If the most important thing is just being married to your partner and you don't want to wait an indeterminate amount of time, then I say go ahead with a smaller ceremony.

Hey,

That's really rough, although I'm not in that position, you have my sympathy for sure. I think one advantage of just having a small ceremony now is that, no matter what the changes that wind up happening as this situation unfolds, you're already married, and don't have to worry about whether that will happen (i.e. what if we get put back down to groups of five)