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Amanda
Frequent user September 2018 New Brunswick

Last name?

Amanda, on February 1, 2018 at 13:03 Posted in Before the wedding 0 21
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So. I can't decide whether I'm changing my last name or not, and while I don't think answers in an online forum are going to help sway my decision either way (Smiley tongue) I guess I'm wondering how many of you are in the same boat as me.

The primary reasoning for keeping my last name has been the death of my father (who LOVED our family name). I also happen to like my last name a lot more than my FH's...

On the other hand, I am kinda traditional, and am wondering if it'll feel like we're "missing something" if we don't share the same last name.

We're not planning on children, so my FH doesn't mind either way, but "It is my honour to present to you Mr. (his last name) and Mrs. (my last name)." doesn't have the same ring to it as "It is my honour to present to you Mr. and Mrs. (same last name)

21 Comments

Latest activity by Melinda, on February 6, 2018 at 11:26
  • Melinda
    Devoted September 2017 Ontario
    Melinda ·
    • Dispute

    I was on the fence too about changing my last name. I always said that I wouldn't and my husband didn't care either way and actually encouraged me to keep my name. For a few weeks right after the wedding, I considered changing it because I got caught up in the post-wedding glow, but in the end I'm glad that I decided to keep my name. I really like the name I've had for 34 years and I feel like it's part of my identity. I became the person I am with this name and that may seem silly to some people, but to me it's meaningful.

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    Frequent user November 2019 Ontario
    Melissa ·
    • Dispute

    That's tough! I can't wait to change mine; I'm tired of my last name being mispronounced by everyone. If he has no objections to you keeping your last name, I would say keep it! If you feel a different way about it in the future, you can always go change it then. There's no rush!

    • Reply
  • Catherine
    Frequent user June 2018 Ontario
    Catherine ·
    • Dispute
    I’ll be hyphenating legally, but keep going by my maiden name professionally. That way at least part of my name will match future kids, etc but I still get to hang onto my French heritage.
    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    My husband chose to change his last name to mine.

    Although i have heard of names being kept as is. There is always the option to hypernate both together.

    I have one in law that has kept his mothers name.
    • Reply
  • Natalia
    Curious August 2018 Ontario
    Natalia ·
    • Dispute

    In the same boat as you, except we do want kids in the future.

    My fiance's last name is Fricbergs(pronounced Fritzbergs) and mine is Ross, and you can see why I'm already struggling.

    I know he doesn't like his last name a lot, but his father would basically disown him if he didn't keep it, and I really dislike his name too since it's phonetically incorrect.

    I'm torn because I don't want the two of us with different last names, but I really dislike his and don't want to keep hurting his feelings by saying he should just pick mine. The struggle is real.

    • Reply
  • Jackie
    Devoted April 2019 Ontario
    Jackie ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    Thank you so much. Doesn’t sound to hard. Just requires some effort.
    • Reply
  • Taylor
    Frequent user June 2018 Ontario
    Taylor ·
    • Dispute

    I am changing my last name because I like his better and if we do have kids then I want to have the same last name. You can have them present you as "husband and wife" instead of mr and mrs or ask if they have another way of presenting you as I am sure they have been in this situation before

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  • Ap2017
    Super September 2017 Ontario
    Ap2017 ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    In Ontario you can assume your husband's last name (what I did) and it changes on your ID and is your last name. Legally changing it involves changing the last name on your birth certificate and I understand it's a bit more of a cumbersome process (and can cost money). Assuming the name is free and can be done at Service ON. Changing it on your SIN requires a trip to Service Canada and you need to call the CRA to inform them of your name change as well as file as married (need you hubs SIN to do this).

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Devoted October 2018 Ontario
    Emily ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    This is something I have really struggled with too! My dad is an only child and my sisters all took their husbands last names. For me it is a connection to my late grandfather and a part of me. I also feel it should be an individual choice and not an assumption. I’ve been toying with the idea of hyphenating or adding it on to the end of my last name.
    • Reply
  • Jackie
    Devoted April 2019 Ontario
    Jackie ·
    • Dispute
    Does anybody know what’s involved in changing your last name in Ontario? I’m thinking that I might like to take his name also. He actually doesn’t care as he doesn’t like his last name. But if I look at all the woman in my family that have gotten married, they have all taken the mans name. So if anybody can tell me what’s involved in doing this, that would be helpful.
    • Reply
  • Valérie
    VIP September 2019 Quebec
    Valérie ·
    • Dispute

    My mom was giving me a hard time for wanting to take my FH's last name. Then I reminded her that because we're from Quebec, she doesn't even share the same last name as my dad and I Smiley xd

    I love my last name, but I've always had the hardest time with it: People mispronouncing it, or confusing it with another similar name and making weird faces when I say it.



    • Reply
  • Holly
    Expert June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
    • Dispute
    I love my last name but I love the idea of taking my fiances last names. My first name and his last name go together to naturally too plus we plan to have children and I want to have all of us sharing the same last name. Do whatever your heart wants, like a lot of the other ladies mentioned..you can legally keep your last name but change it on social media etc!
    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
    • Dispute

    This was and still is one of the hardest things for me to come to grips with. I LOVE my last name. I'm also the last person in my family with the last name so it's sort of sad to give it up.

    My FH has an okay last name too. I don't dislike it.


    He told me once he liked having us with the same name, but told me its ultimately my decision. I think I will end up changing my name, because I truely want to feel 'united' with him. I'm going to keep my last name as a middle name.

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Frequent user September 2018 New Brunswick
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute

    Thanks everyone for the input!
    I think I was always planning to legally retain my last name but just use his socially. Maybe I just needed validation Smiley tongue

    • Reply
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    • Dispute
    I’m changing mine despite not like his as much as I do mine. Like most of the other brides on here, I don’t want my children to have a different last name than me.
    • Reply
  • Jen889
    Devoted May 2018 Quebec
    Jen889 ·
    • Dispute

    I'm keeping my last name. Although in quebec, you can't take your husbands name. Given the choice, i'd still keep it. My FH has a typical french canadian last name, mine is russian and very unique. I love my last name and to me it's my heritage.


    At our wedding we will be introduced as Mr and Mrs (his last name). Our kids will have his last name, no hyphens. I hate hyphenated names for kids.


    Just because you won't legally have his last name doesn't mean you can't use it. You can change your social media, emails, letterheads, return address labels etc to reflect his last name if you want.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Super September 2018 Alberta
    Michelle ·
    • Dispute

    I'm changing my name, I work in a hotel and I have seen many, many ppl change their last name, keep their last names and hyphenate last names. I have also heard of ppl creating new last names by combining the bride's & groom's last name.

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute

    You could always keep your last name legally, but use his last name for other purposes (such as, a shared e-mail or at work).

    I will be changing my last name legally, but at work, I will still go by my current last name (since people know me by that name and I won't need a new e-mail).

    • Reply
  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute

    I will be changing my name soon. I always thought I would but I also just really don't want to associate with my last name anymore (not a great relationship with my dad or his family). Maybe you could hyphenate your last names?

    • Reply
  • Ap2017
    Super September 2017 Ontario
    Ap2017 ·
    • Dispute

    I changed mine, but it was mostly because my husband was really excited to give his last name to me. We also plan for kids eventually and I'd like to have the same last name and don't want to hyphenate kids names. If you are both comfortable with separate names, keep your name! It's a part of you and it's definitely weird to change it, lol...I slip and use my maiden name every now and again. You can still be announced as Mr and Mrs at the wedding and you could go by the name socially and not change it legally. From someone who is in the process, its such a pain trying to remember all the places you need to change it and making all those calls/trips to prove your identity all over again.

    • Reply
  • Alexandra
    VIP November 2019 British Columbia
    Alexandra ·
    • Dispute
    I’m changing mine, but personally I always wanted to, I like his last name.

    Sounds like you’ve got a tough decision to make. Try writing the your name on a piece of paper with each last name. See how you feel seeing it written down.
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