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Olivia
Newbie October 2020 Ontario

Kids or Kid Free Wedding?

Olivia, on July 17, 2018 at 12:55 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 26
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I am an educator so I love kids! But when it comes to my wedding day... I'm just not sure if I want to have kids in attendance. Does anyone have any thoughts on the pros/cons of kids or kids free weddings???

26 Comments

Latest activity by Rayanne, on August 14, 2019 at 23:34
  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
    • Dispute
    I think we will have a few kids at wedding but I think they will all be leaving early. I have two younger kids that I'll have babysitter pick up soon after dancing starts.
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  • Brett
    Frequent user July 2020 Saskatchewan
    Brett ·
    • Dispute
    We are having a very limited selection of children are our wedding. Our nieces and nephew of course need to be invited. And then I have one cousin and a bridesmaid whose children I am close with so I am inviting them. But that’s it.
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  • Maegan
    Super July 2018 British Columbia
    Maegan ·
    • Dispute
    We had kids at our wedding and it went wonderfully. We had probably 12 children under age 12 and they all behaved themselves and caused no issues. And they rocked the dance floor for everyone’s entertainment.

    It it was an easy decision for us to include kids as we had a number of guests that would not be able to attend without their children and it wasn’t important to include everyone on our guest list.
    • Reply
  • Miranda
    Newbie November 2020 Ontario
    Miranda ·
    • Dispute

    We decided no children at our wedding. We really had to think about it though. Some people won't come if their kids aren't invited. At the end of the day its what you want

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  • Angel
    Frequent user June 2019 British Columbia
    Angel ·
    • Dispute

    We're doing a kids-free wedding except for family members. We are getting married in a small venue so it will be a hazard if kids are running around when food and drinks are being served. I've been to weddings before where the guests have to leave early because their kids were screaming at the top of their lungs or got injured while running around. It disturbs the flow of the wedding and your guests cannot enjoy themselves fully either as they have to look after their kids. Like others, I would also include a disclosure in my invitation that it is an adult only event so there is no confusion.

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  • Marcia
    Super August 2018 Manitoba
    Marcia ·
    • Dispute

    We are having a kid friendly wedding Smiley smile, hopefully it goes well, I have a kids table set up with activities to keep them entertained. It's completely up to you, some weddings I've been to have had no kids and the parents enjoyed it more because they got a little break from parenting and it was like a date night for them.

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  • Julie
    Expert March 2019 Ontario
    Julie ·
    • Dispute
    I am not having any Kids at my Wedding. Definitely causing a little upset because I have a 5 yr old Godson... My 2 other Godchildren are in our Wedding but they are 14 and 17.
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  • Jessie
    Expert September 2018 Ontario
    Jessie ·
    • Dispute

    I totally agree. I've grown up around kids (mom's home daycare) so i am use to kids but we decided on a no kid wedding. With the exception of 2 because of my family flying from BC and had already bought them a plane ticket. I just think there's no point in having kids because they won't get anything out of it and will never remember.

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  • Olivia
    Newbie October 2020 Ontario
    Olivia ·
    • Dispute
    This is all really great feedback! Thank you so much! For those saying no children, what do you think the appropriate “cut-off” age is for kids? 12 and under? Or even into teenagers? Or even younger than 12?
    • Reply
  • Leanne
    Expert September 2018 Ontario
    Leanne ·
    • Dispute

    I love kids as well, but I personally believe that a wedding is not an event for children.

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  • Alexandra
    VIP November 2019 British Columbia
    Alexandra ·
    • Dispute
    Honestly, do what you think is best for you. If you want a kid free wedding, do it! Just be aware like people said that some people may decline coming and some people may have to leave a little earlier, but even then I feel like most parents would be able to make it work. Just give them plenty of warning and you’ll be fine.

    Personally I decided on kids for a few reasons. The biggest one is my two youngest sisters are going to be 8 & 10 at the time, and we have family coming overseas and that wouldn’t work if they couldn’t bring their kids. Besides I know all the kids coming and I know they’re going to be keeping the dance floor packed too so it’ll be fun.
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  • Maegan
    Super July 2018 British Columbia
    Maegan ·
    • Dispute
    We just had our wedding a week and a half ago and allowed people to bring their kids... We probably had 14 kids between the ages of 3 weeks and 12 years...
    I cant think of a single issue that came up from having kids other than that some parents had to leave a bit earlier than they would have liked because of babies. That and the kids stole the show on the dance floor!

    It was important to us to let kids come as a lot of out of town guests would not have been able to make it to the wedding otherwise.

    I do not have a single regret having children at our wedding- if anything i think it made it better Smiley smile
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  • Megann
    Frequent user September 2018 New Brunswick
    Megann ·
    • Dispute

    We're doing a kids free wedding. Our vision is more adult oriented & I don't really like the idea of kids being subjected to potentially drunk people.

    Plus, it's a time to let go & not have the worries of the kids in the back of your mind.

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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute

    It irks me when people say kids are loud and misbehave. Some do, but most are able to stay entertained for a few hours. A school classroom isn’t filled with kids running around; they have work to do sometimes. Or, for those not in school, they can play quietly or by themselves. If anyone is going to ruin a wedding, it’s going to be a drunk adult. Read any wedding disaster story and very few will be caused by children.

    We had 10 children at our wedding, and they were quiet, ate their food, coloured on the paper provided, stayed at their table until the dance. They were the entertainment on the dance floor. They played together during the dance and their parents got some time to mingle with adults and the parents took turns watching the children.

    Most weddings I have been to have had children invited, and I cannot remember one where I wished the children weren’t there because of the noise or distraction.

    Weddings are celebrating you and your fiance(e) becoming a family, and I think families should be invited to celebrate.

    The downside is you are paying for them, even a less amount is probably too much (we got 25% off for children under 12, and most of them were in the 4-7 range and eat less than half what an adult would, so we technically were paying more per child than per adult). Inviting the children gives the parent the choice as to what they think is best for them and their children. Maybe it is best for their child to stay with a sitter. Maybe their child won’t stay with a sitter, but it gives them the option.

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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    As an educator and being family related, its nice to have that atmosphere surrounding you.

    Traditionally, every Indian weddings are kid friendly as we appreciate families coming together every year celebrating the couple's day.
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  • Jennifer
    Super August 2018 Alberta
    Jennifer ·
    • Dispute
    Most parents get a sitter but I’m all for kids and don’t want people to feel offended. The more the marrier for our wedding!
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  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
    • Dispute

    My 2 step-sisters have 7 kids between them. Many of my cousins have kids, and my fiances groomsmen have several kids as well... That being said, we are having no kids.

    I love kids.... without a doubt... but just cutting everyone under 19 took 35 people off our guest list! (We now have about 100 people). I want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves, no fussing, no screaming, no crying, or yelling (although I don't have that guarantee from the adults, haha).

    It's a formal, evening, winter wedding... and we want people to just have a night off. We will be including a details insert with our invitation:

    DetailsKids or Kid Free Wedding? 1

    "In order to allow all guests, including parents, an evening of relaxation, we have chosen for our wedding day to be an adult only occasion. We hope this advance notice means you are still able to share our big day and will enjoy having the evening off!"

    There is one groomsman who will have a 7 month old baby at the time. They will be permitted to bring him if need be, but they already said if they are able to leave him with a grandparent, they will (obviously that will be determined at the time, based on what they are able to do and are comfortable with).

    Overall I think unless you can't live without the kids there... it allows for many guests to not have to cut out after dinner, or taking a screaming kid out of your ceremony, and saves you the expense of paying for dinner for many more mouths.

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  • Sara
    Frequent user January 2021 Alberta
    Sara ·
    • Dispute

    It really depends on your particular situation. If there are no young children in your immediate family and/or not travel involved for immediate family with kids, then a kid-free wedding might be the most enjoyable for you since you spend every day around kids. It may be a bit of an inconvenience for some of your guests and some may even choose to skip the wedding or leave early because of it (it's up to you to decide if you're ok with that). Personally, I think it is a bit rude to skip a wedding just because your kids aren't invited, but everyone has different priorities.

    I always wanted to have a kid-free wedding because I have found that more often than not, when kids are allowed there is always at least one that is super obnoxious and spends the evening getting on peoples' nerves. I also find that when parents have their kids with them, they are less inclined to let loose and really have a good time. Not what I envision for my wedding. However, my nieces and nephew are really great kids and I genuinely want them to be there. Other guests have children as well and we did seriously discuss saying no children except for the immediate family, but in the end we will probably just let people decide for themselves if they want to bring them since we are having a destination wedding and realise that asking people to not only take a week off and pay for a vacation but then to also leave their kids home is just a ridiculous ask. If we were having the wedding here, we would say no kids but the immediate family and would help our out of town guests find appropriate childcare for the evening. I'm not too worried about it if our guests do bring their kids. In fact, if there are enough kids coming to the destination for it to make sense, I may just pay the resort to host a kids party while the parents come and enjoy the reception.

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  • Maya
    Expert January 2019 Alberta
    Maya ·
    • Dispute
    I say kid free wedding, because if parents aren’t watching their children they could run around and with all the stuff that could potentially accidentally knocked over just isn’t worth it. For us under 3 is free so I am fine with them bringing kids as long as I know they are going to look after them.

    Also the people that say a con to having no kid wedding because they can’t find a sitter is something that giving them enough notice should work ex. 6 months. If they choose to not come then that’s their choice, kinda sad too because then both parties lose out in my opinion.
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  • Gina
    Super April 2019 Alberta
    Gina ·
    • Dispute
    I’m all about the kids! I used to love going to weddings as a kid. I have so many wonderful memories from them. We are having a destination wedding (just 4 hours away in the Rocky Mountains) and we specifically wrote “kids are always welcome” with that being said, we have 4 of our own kids. And when we go to an adults only wedding, we are totally fine with it! Either way works for us, and we never bring our kids to weddings unless it’s family lol. Most people don’t bring their kids, even if they can. I would hate for someone to miss my wedding with not being able to have a sitter personally
    • Reply
  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
    • Dispute
    We said no to all kids. The only ones there will be my fiance's cousin, who will be 15 so not technically a kid and our baby who will only be there for ceremony, photos and dinner.
    Pros of a kid free wedding is that your guests don't have to worry about feeling obligated to not "have as much fun", you won't have a bunch of children running all over, no "kids menu", and parents get a well deserved night off which they will probably really appreciate!
    Cons is that some parents of very young children may leave early or not come at all depending on the age.
    • Reply
  • Meagan
    Frequent user October 2021 Nova Scotia
    Meagan ·
    • Dispute
    It’s a tricky one, I personally don’t want to have children in attendance for our wedding primarily because of the noise factor, but the pricing points also ring true, the venue will still be charging per head, and then there are additional catering fees as well to offer a kid friendly option. Another thing most couple choose to provide something to keep them entertained during the evening, which again, costs money.

    The only thing I’m worried about having an adults only wedding, is how people are going to act upon finding out that their children aren’t invited. At the end of the day, it’s your wedding, and your call!
    • Reply
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute

    Pros - more people can come as they won't have to worry about baby sitter

    - cute flower girl / ring bearer

    Cons - crying kids as you walk down the aisle

    - pay more money as they still take up space

    - still charged corkage fee on kids

    - parents have to leave early because of said kids

    I overall don't like the idea of kids at a wedding. They won't even remember the wedding or appreciate the ceremony (personal experience as a kid at weddings).

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  • Shla
    Devoted October 2021 Ontario
    Shla ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    Yep, this.
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  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
    • Dispute
    Well if you invite kids it increases the number of people attending. Although usually you are charged less for kids.

    A lot depends on the kids being invited. How old are they, are they well behaved, are the parents the type to make sure the kids don’t interfere with everyone else’s enjoyment (ie leave the ceremony if they start crying, acting out etc).

    Just keep in mind that not inviting kids can result in their parents not being able to attend. Please don’t assume everyone can get a sitter. Sometimes they can’t.

    I think every situation is different.
    • Reply
  • Leah
    VIP April 2019 British Columbia
    Leah ·
    • Dispute
    I’m close with certain children in my family and my best friend’s daughter so they are welcome to attend.

    Since we’re one of the last couples in our friend group to get married, many of our friends have 2-3 children. They’re welcome but it’s totally understandable if they don’t bring them. Our wedding is a designation weekend as well so we don’t expect families to incur that cost.
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