Kids drama!

Thanks for the advice everyone, I really appreciate your words!

If you are paying the bill you have EVERY right to decide who you chose or not chose to invite. I simply put on my website that it is an adult only event. The only minors are my 2 sisters but the youngest one is 13 yrs old. So I just had my FH's cousin re-confirm this was the case just so she could arrange for a babysitter for the evening, but no complaints.

You could even say due to limited space available at the venue you cannot invite everyone, if they choose not to come then that's a few less ppl you have to pay for.

I think you can invite, or not invite, whoever you want to your wedding. I know this can cause friction for some people but c'est la vie. We told everyone right off the bat that we didn't want kids at our wedding which saved a lot of confusion.

This is YOUR day. You're allowed to do what you want.

It's understandable because you want the adults to have a good time without always being on alert. How can they be relaxed unless they know the kids are safely at home and uninvited? I get it girl. And you gave PLENTY of an advance so don't feel you didn't violate wedding protocol. You do what you have to do.

If it makes you feel better, I don't want random plus ones. I want to invite people I KNOW personally. So even though I have people who are "dating" someone, I'm not inviting them unless I want to. I don't want these people in my wedding photos.

Definitely not in the wrong. I did the same, I only had out of town guests allowing children and we didn't let anyone know in advance who was from town. We just wrote on the invites, "Only those mentioned on the invite may attend". No one from town seemed upset we had children there who weren't allowed to bring their own (or we just didn't hear about it), but my thought was if they live here, they know people who can babysit, while out of town guests don't have that choice.

It sounds like she's trying to make this about her, and while I understand leaving your child behind for one night can be tricky (finding a babysitter, paying for it), most people enjoy it as they get a date night out or time to hang out with friends etc... You could always call and let her know that you had tough decisions to make, and it was difficult to not invite her son, but ultimately he isn't able to come, while also explaining about out of town guest's children so she's not shocked. Not sure how that would play out though

Girl....you are not obligated to invite ANYBODY to your wedding!

No parent should expect that their children are invited. Maybe if she was so concerned about it, she should have asked you ahead of time...instead of fighting with you after invitations are sent that you should have given her a heads up.

Nope. You're not wrong. Shes just being selfish and making it about her, stirring up drama you don't need.

Wedding planning can really bring out the worst in people, especially ones who are selfish/don't know how much weddings cost! I was debating kids vs no kids for awhile but the venue I went with has a discounted rate for kids/vendors, although not all venues do this. Most of the "kids" that are invited are in their teens now and can make decisions if they want to go or not.

I think people do change when they have kid(s) but it should be understandable that you won't be able to take your kids everywhere with you. Weddings are usually adult events, unless kids are specifically invited. I know for a fact that my parents didn't drag me and my brother around to every wedding they were invited to because: A. some people don't want kids there, and B. we'd probably get bored lol

It's your wedding and you should do what you want with it! You're allowed to be "selfish" (although I wouldn't say you are) since it's you and your FH's day!

Ten months is a good enough time for someone to make arrangements. I actually won't have any kids including out of town people, I said that to everyone ahead of time and one of my friends in Halifax is finding a couple of baby sitters and they will all be together in my future in-law's house. We'll order pizza for them. If she knows other guests with kids maybe they can all pool together and have the kids stay over or something of the sort. But every parent I know has baby sitters they can book in a few days notice let alone so many months in advance!

Check with your venue... have you asked if there is a lesser cost for children? Some venues will give discounts for certain ages, and even sometimes free under 2....

I encountered this problem when I was originally making my guest list, and we had to decide kids or no kids. I wanted to allow my sisters to bring my nieces and nephews, but my parents pointed out that if some people got to bring kids, and others didn't, it would cause unnecessary frustration and anger from guests who couldn't bring their kids.

I think in terms of dealing with this one friend, you may just need to apologize, explain that only immediate family members are bringing kids, and that you can't make an exception without opening up every guest to bringing their kids.

In my opinion you are doing everything correctly as best you can. I think it is more than enough time to let people know that the wedding will be kid free. I myself am in the same boat but because there just isn't enough room for kids! I will be sending a simple Save the date - without that information on it. They can find out when the letter is addressed to them and not their kids, as well as a little note at the bottom stating we can't accommodate them.