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Malou
Newbie November 2020 Ontario

Kids at the wedding

Malou, on March 10, 2020 at 12:58 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 12
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Hello everyone! Just curious...


For those who got married, did you have guests with kids?
For those getting married, are you considering not having kids (except for the entourage: flower girls and ring bearer) on the wedding day?
I have 2 kids. They will be 3 and 2 yo on my wedding. I would like my friends (with kids) to enjoy their time and not have to look after their kids the whole time.Also, a friend of mine got married last year and was not pleased with the outcome of the video and photos that had kids running around them during their first dance and all the other highlights of their wedding.
How would you word it in the invitation if you don't want kids at the wedding without sounding rude?
Thanks in advance.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Carly, on March 17, 2020 at 06:55
  • Carly
    Frequent user May 2022 British Columbia
    Carly ·
    • Dispute
    Not sure where your getting married or have the space, but I have heard some other brides mention that during the wedding they have hired some sort of entertainment for the younger kids or temporary daycare . It’s a budget thing obviously (not something that I can budget for) but I’ve even heard of someone hiring one of those play busses where it is like a emptied out school bus with activities, toys, and play areas inside
    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    Indian culture has families invited to all wedding no matter what. Some otherwise don't prefer due to guest count or noise/running around. Adult Evening only may be a good way to phrase your wedding event and those who may decline will stay back to be with their kids. Guests attending will find their parents to watch the kids or find a babysitter given the consideration of no kids invited.
    • Reply
  • Maddie19
    Curious July 2020 Alberta
    Maddie19 ·
    • Dispute

    We put adult reception to follow on our invite!

    • Reply
  • Alissa
    Frequent user September 2020 British Columbia
    Alissa ·
    • Dispute
    We are addressing invitations to "Mr + Mrs", as well as including on the Invitations "we have __(number filled in by us before sending) seats reserved for you". Our websites RSVP option also allows us to choose the maximum people can RSVP for. I am hoping people will get the hint and we don't have to explain that we don't want children at our formal, adult oriented event. I am also hoping no one will be gutsy enough to call us up and ask why their kids weren't invited. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it! 😂
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Devoted July 2023 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute

    Usually the wording on the envelope of the invitation should give them enough to know if kids are invited or not. If you address the invite to Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Family, then that means adults along with their children. If you leave off “and family” then that should be a big enough clue that only the adults are invited. Also adding “Adult Only Reception to follow...” helps. If you really don’t mind having kids at your wedding then invite them and let the parents decide whether they get a babysitter or not. Personally with two kids either way invited or not they would be staying home, mommy and daddy could always use a night out LOL! You could also have a space for them if you decide to have kids at the wedding. An area designated with colouring books and crayons, little crafts that can be done independently and not too messy. You could put some pillows and books where they can just chill for a little bit. That way they are occupied and you can still keep an eye on them while having your own fun!

    • Reply
  • S
    Expert September 2020 Quebec
    Shannon ·
    • Dispute


    We will not be having kids at the wedding.

    Most of us at the wedding have grown kids anyways. I will have a flower girl and ring bearer. So my cousin is aloud to bring her kids and I'm sure she will be leaving early.

    I added this information on my wedding website here on Wedding Wire.

    • Reply
  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
    • Dispute
    Since I have two little ones (they will be 6 and 8 at wedding time) I've allowed others to bring kids. My own children will be leaving after the first couple of dances I think 9 at the latest. My sister has decided she will also have her kids go at the same time. Our best man and his wife do not want to being their children at all. My MOH will have her son picked up at 9 as well. All the other guests with children have teenagers or young adults and I'll leave it up to them. If I didn't have young children myself I would not have any children at my wedding.
    • Reply
  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
    • Dispute
    I didn’t want to have kids at my wedding but it was too hard to do this because our cousin and my sister in law just had babies.


    If you’re having a kid free wedding, I’d let people know beforehand so they can make their arrangements accordingly.
    There’s lots of cute poems on google you can use to tell people it’s not a kid wedding.
    • Reply
  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
    • Dispute

    This is a very touchy subject. we are having kids at our wedding. however its the parents choice on finding a babysitter or bringing them. but i had my friend say no kids at her wedding and she ended up having 2 kids at her wedding and people were yelling at her and her husband on their wedding day saying why did so and so bring their kids and i couldnt bring mine etc etc. so if you decide no kids that means ZERO kids and if you have kids all kids cuz trust me family will bring it up to you and will talk about it. but let people know asap no kids and make sure its on your invitations and website. people will have to make arrangements for young kids especially if they are traveling or out of town for your wedding

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  • Stephanie
    Frequent user February 2022 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute
    We will be having kids at our wedding. I have not implimented any restrictions regarding kids. I think for any friends who are "worried" about their kids behavior at our wedding would likely get a sitter. But I also know as a mom that finding someone to watch your kids while your at a wedding isnt always easy.


    As for the kids running around the dance floor I think it's perfectly acceptable for the MC to mention that we would prefer kids stay clear of the dance floor.
    Everyone is entitled to what they prefer. But prefer to be inclusive of everyone.
    • Reply
  • Malou
    Newbie November 2020 Ontario
    Malou ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    Hello! Thank you for the input. I love having kids around, it's just that I want my friends to enjoy themselves without worrying what their kids are up to. It's also another thing to plan on what kids can do. My friends' kids are under 12yo and some are the same age as my kids, toddlers.
    We're planning to have the wedding in our backyard in summer, at least for now that's the plan.
    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
    • Dispute

    Hello! We are just having 2 kids at the wedding, FH daughter and his sister. 12 and 9 and they are both part of the wedding party. Outside of that, we did a hard fast adults only rule. Mostly due to limited space and also because of the vibe we are setting. Our venue is not a run around and have lots of space venue, we are doing a 2+ hour dinner service etc. Anyway...

    On our wedding website, I had a section about this under FAQ's and I just said " We adore your children, but have limited space. Please make this a date night! Adults only ceremony and reception". And then I addressed invites to the specific people, no "___ Family" and our RSVP form is restricted to specific names. So hopefully that all comes across. My family has also been utilizing word of mouth. So far only one cousin has come back with a potential issue here, and I just said I understood if she could not make it because of this.

    Everyone is going to have their opinion on this though!

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