Is is only me or in hindsight knowing what you know would you have eloped?

I wouldn't change a thing, but again I did not have all the things you are describing. I'm sorry your having to deal with inconsiderate people when you should be enjoying the whole process. And it's never too late to elope (Fiji just might not be).

That sounds awful. Your wedding part sounds like its full of selfish children.

If i was dealing with that, i'd just say screw it all and elope.

Honestly, we had some negativity surrounding the wedding and i was pretty overwhelmed and upset (not half as bad as you're dealing with), but if i had to do it over again, i would 100% for sure elope. My husband agrees.

Wow sounds like you're dealing with a lot! I'm sorry for all the negativity and stress. My husband and I never considered eloping but I hear that a lot of other people do. We didn't have the same problems that you had but we did have some of our own issues with the wedding party and family being unsupportive of our wedding decisions. My best advice would be to stick to your guns and don't give in to what they want because it's YOUR day. All you have to make happy is you and your fiance. I can say from experience that when it got to the wedding day, everyone finally "got" our vision and my mom and my sisters all said how glad they were that I didn't compromise. I think it's hard for them to understand the overall vision until they get there and see it all together. For example, I had wanted my bridesmaids to wear purple shoes (our wedding colours were purple and charcoal and their dresses were charcoal) and I was brainstorming with my MOH/sister and asked her what style of shoe she thought and she said that she was planning on wearing a pair of black pumps and that we should just tell everyone to find a pair of black heels to wear. I stuck to my decision and we found a pair of comfy, inexpensive purple pumps for everyone and after they saw everyone dressed up for the wedding, my sister was like "omg the shoes look amazing!" They matched their bouquets perfectly and added a great pop of colour, as I knew they would. So just hang in there and do what you want and don't feel guilty for it!

I think you need to lay it all out for your wedding party. I think they need to hear how you really feel because clearly the other avenues of response haven't worked.

I personally would have told all my bridal party to return their non-conforming dresses or get out of the bridal party. You are a better person than I! Your FH should also stand up to his groomsmen and say that they have to wear the specific attire you picked.

I think the trick now is to focus on you and your FH getting married and ignoring the other stuff. Just remember that you love this person and are excited to share your lives together!

Thanks Sonja I feel better as I was wondering is it just me or are other people going through this. Sad to know this is a trend but good to know I am not alone.

I thought by saying what would you prefer for MY wedding would have clued them in but it didn't they responded we want to wear shorts and flip flops or sandals and a short sleeve shirt no tie.

I was getting custom made earrings and pendant from a silversmith and then men were getting the matching cufflinks but since they do not want to wear French cuffs or even long sleeve shirts why bother. based on everything I have been through they would not appreciate it and most likely would ask to wear gold with my luck. Instead of saying thank you. can heard it now I do not like it and would prefer to wear X.

Unfortunately its not just them my own family members suggested I change the venue due to the hurricane as the beach may not be as pretty with a few less palm trees.

So I am just at my limit right now and now sure how much more I can take before I stand up and roar. I decided to post on here before I responded to the we want to wear shorts and flip flops in the party so I can think clearly before responded irrationally

You must be so discouraged. I've noticed this is becoming a trend among wedding parties. Nobody wants to help. I think you're going to have to insist that people cooperate with you or leave the bridal party. At this point, you probably wouldn't even care if they did leave. Who gave them the right to have input. This is your wedding and you and your FH call the shots. Who's looking out for your interests? By the sounds of things, nobody. So it's time to stand up and roar. If they don't want to cooperate, go to your destination and leave them in the dust. You can't please all the people all the time. So please yourself and if anyone has a comment, just ask them, "Who's wedding is this, anyway?" I hope things work out for you.