Is anyone getting married without a formal proposal?

I didn’t have a proposal, although I needed one. And we didn’t have a wedding, although I was expecting one; nothing fancy, nothing expensive, and even with the help of our relatives, who are very generous and supporting. He said one day he just couldn’t keep saying goodbye every evening, he wanted us to stay together through every night, but our parents wouldn’t allowed it if we weren’t married and they wouldn’t accept us getting married so young unless we were pregnant. A few months later that happened, but by that time, the idea of marriage wasn’t agreeing with his thoughts, yet the legal consequences for us becoming officially married for both and our babies were a good reason to do it. So we got married on a Friday, in the town hall, with me in a 5 month pregnancy belly and regular clothes. Under the promise that “this is not the one, just a legal paper, we’ll still have our wedding”, the religious ceremony, because his mother is very catholic. But then he didn’t want to have a religious ceremony, because he decided he doesn’t believe in religion, and weddings are a waste of money. He said he didn’t believe in weddings, but when he went to a friends wedding he said that was because it was important for his friends, but being important for me didn’t seem to bother him. Years passed, we got 2 kids, live in a different country and grew financially. He proposed(kind of) with a 15 dollar jade ring in a completely unromantic way. He said it was to make me happy, participated in a couple of weeks of planning, then went radio silent about it, ignoring my invitations to attend wedding fairs and having the least involvement possible in it. Then the coronavirus hit ( fortunately we didn’t really had anything planned) and everything just vanished away. I’m mad, just mad. I don’t want to feel this way, but I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. He just didn’t think my needs and wishes were important, and that makes me sad.

We didn't have a formal proposal either. We have 2 daughters together and one night he said the girls need a dad, I was like they have one! and he said no like a proper family so he told me to start looking at rings and that was that. I found the ring I wanted and then he gave it to me in the car. I made him ask my dad, even though we own a house and have kids, but he did anyway. Even though there was no surprise, I wouldn't change it.

I didn't have a formal proposal and I think it's totally okay not to

We pretty much had picked the date and knew where we would have the wedding but hadn't put any formalities in place. We are expecting our first child in June so that's been the main priority.

My fiancee is very laid back and not into wedding formalities and when I'd say "you know you do have to propose first" he'd say why he already knows my answer. I pretty much assumed I'd just end up planning the wedding without ever getting formally engaged.

However one day we were out shopping and passed the jewelry store and I said oh look rings on sale, jokingly. He then said okay let's get one.... And now we are "officially" engaged. He did take the ring to my father after we bought it to "ask" before he gave it to me. (This is something hugely important to my father)

I'm more than happy with the "proposal" since in the end we are spending forever together and my friends and family get a laugh out of the story; they say it's very us.

My parents didn't have a formal proposal. It was just like "we should get married" and so they did (I don't even know who suggested it to who).

Lol! Thank god for everyone who has posted here!! I used to feel so down when I didn’t have a great proposal story, since it was kind of just mutually decided upon.. but we’ve been together for a while now and both kind of just knew it was going to happen.

Thinking back, it’s not a big deal anymore, although it was a big deal for me for a while.. we are both so excited for the wedding and that’s what matters! No great proposal story 😋

You guys sound a lot like my husband and I! We did not have a formal proposal.

Basically we were driving home from a camping trip and got to talking about the future and decided that it was time to get married. We had been living together for a year and dating for over 5 1/2 years at the time so it was the natural next step.

We decided to both get ‘engagement rings’ so we found some bands we liked online and ordered them. We decided to wear them on our right hands until we got married and then move the rings over to our left hands. When our rings came in we just put them on and started telling people we were engaged lol.

Sometimes i think of what it would have been like to have a big proposal, but honestly it just wouldn’t have been us. Looking back I wouldn’t change anything about how we decided to get married.

My husband is not a super romantic guy, and I totally hear what you are saying that every woman loves to hear nice things about themselves, but I will say my husband made up for the lack of proposal at our wedding! We wrote our own vows and he had the entire audience (and me!) bawling by the time he was done and he said all the things I wanted to hear and more.

There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to do things! Whatever works best for you both as a couple

We had talked about marriage for nearly two years when he proposed! We had our venue booked before he proposed. For me, a proposal was important but it wasn’t for him. I don’t have a great proposal story because of it. The real excitement was planning the wedding!
It is hard when everyone is asking how he proposed, can I see the ring etc when these questions don’t apply to you! I would make a joke about it since it’s not very romantic and not at all how I thought it would happen.
In the end though, the engagement only lasts a short time. Just focus on the wedding and marriage!

We didn't do a formal proposal since we met and I moved in 6 months after with my husband then. He had rings that didn't fit him and it did with me. Back in 2014 that is. a year 2015, we talked about getting married and considered his ring(s) as engagement saving the cost of another ring to buy. August 2017, we got married and had bought our wedding bands at a discount.

We've been engaged for almost 19 months now. We didn't have a formal proposal, but only because his original plans to propose at Christmas was superseded by finding out my grandfather had terminal cancer, and my wanting him to know...so we talked about it in bed one night in August and decided that we wanted to get married so boom, we were engaged.

Sometimes I feel like I missed out - I didn't have the excited oohing and awwwing other people got; I didn't get amazing pictures of him on his knee asking me and my reaction to it. But what I did get is a partner who considers my needs and looks out for me and what's important in my life. And that's amazing.

I did have a formal proposal - but it was me proposing to my Fiancé. He has been engaged once before and I figured that I don't want to be the second girl he has proposed to and since I can't be the first he will be mine!

I would say that it depends on every couple whether you neeeeeed a proposal or not. For me and my FH we had been talking about getting married since October 2017 and I proposed at hte end of December 2017. For us it was because I wanted it set in stone, but if you have a venue, dress, etc. then consider it a done deal!

It's like an engagement party/ brunch, it's nice but not something that is required.

As for hearing sweet things from him about how much he loves you - that can all be said at the alter when you are reading you vows so don't worry about missing out on that. Besides, when I proposed I started crying half way through my speech and figure I will just let him know the rest on our wedding day.

I say that if it's going to bother you leading up to your wedding that you never made it official and don't have a clear date to put down as when you became fiancé(e)'s then let him know how much you really want one - and leave it for a month. Maybe he is waiting until Valentine's day? At the same time, after waiting a month or so - go for it! Propose to him! If he is a little taken aback and wishes he would have been the one to ask then he still can, and this shows that you were serious about wanting one

My fiance and I had discussed getting married before we got engaged. He knew that I wanted to. When he proposed to me the first time, he didn't have a ring and he hadn't asked my father yet (turns out my dad didn't require that but was flattered that my fiance did it anyway). We were just in such a perfect, romantic spot that my fiance couldn't pass up the opportunity to propose to me!

Don't push it or rush it - it won't feel special. It doesn't have to be a big grand gesture - it should reflect who you are as a couple.

For us a formal proposal was kind of redundant. He moved here for me. That was enough.

We'd discussed a proposal but as time went by it just seemed more and more superfluous.

We even skipped the engagement ring part.

Apparently this is similar to the way my parents got engaged. The thing is - both my dad and my FH are some of the most romantic people I know.

So it's different for everyone. And it's important to feel comfortable enough to communicate with each other.

I'm a bit of an introvert so while I enjoy watching rom coms with sentimental and elaborate proposals I think I would be mostly uncomfortable if it happened to me, and my FH, and family know that.

Try not to compare yourself to others too much. Focus on the things about your FH, and your relationship that bring you joy. You've got the rest of your lives for him to do something dramatically romantic. If it's going to come let it come naturally.