Warning, venting ahead!
A little context - I'm working full time, going to grad school and my fiancé proposed in October. We're getting married September 29th. I have two weeks off between grad school classes to do wedding stuff, as well as work overtime to pay for school and the wedding. (We run year-round 9 weeks on, 2 weeks off.) I'll be done school in March of 2020.
I just wanted to elope at our favourite spot (which would have been where we got engaged if Mother Nature hadn't intervened with a blizzard.) It's my second wedding. It's his first. He didn't want to elope. He wanted a wedding.
It's turning into a nightmare. His family dynamic is messed up to the point where some of his family won't come because of his dad and he's already talking about the possibility of having to throw his dad out of the reception. He's inviting people he rarely talks to (not even Christmas calls) because of some inane rule in his head. He has other rules too that have dictated where he will and won't get married, who he will and won't have standing up for him, how everything should be balanced in the wedding party (his aunt and two teenaged boys are standing up on his side, my best friend of 35 years on mine.) and how everything and everyone has to match. The rules pop up out of nowhere and I can't make decisions on how to proceed with the wedding because of the inconsistency, not to mention his needing two weeks to make a decision. I tend to make my own rules and do what's in my heart, not what "they" say you have to do...which is where he says he's getting his rules. "This is how a wedding is."
We're trying to keep it under 30 people, so we cut the invite list at aunts and uncles, and now my cousins are all making backhanded comments "Oh, she set a date and didn't invite anyone." etc. They were all invited to my first wedding and half didn't show. If we open it up to cousins, my side alone is 65 people, and that's just family. The only friend on my guest list is essentially my sister.
We picked a venue in Calgary instead of Banff because my parents and only aunt are in their 80s and my parents are travelling from out of town so we wanted to keep things easy for them.
I had a vision of my wedding...and this just isn't it. The ring, the dress, the venue...It's all pretty, but it's not me. I'm just done with it all. Not to mention I am paying for school, and now a wedding too. At least I got the groom right...
If it wasn't for his other rule the we have to be married before he'll even try for kids after what happened in his last relationship (and at my age I am quickly running out of time) we wouldn't get married until after grad school's done.
I feel like I'm settling and already planning the vow renewal for our 10th anniversary so that it can be where and how I envisioned my wedding day...
Thank you if you managed to read this far. I'm just done with it all, have a ton on my plate and my go-to people to vent to just deflect it all by telling me it's all fine and beautiful, even if it's not what I want.