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Abbie
Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia

Inviting young children?

Abbie, on April 23, 2021 at 12:53 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 21
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Hello all! I have a guest list dilemma I was hoping to get some feedback on. My cousin’s daughter will be about 1.5 years old by the time of our wedding. I am not especially close with my cousin and I’ve never met her partner as they are quite a bit older plus live in England and travel is super expensive! I would like to invite them to the wedding as she is my only cousin on my dad’s side. My question is, would it be inappropriate to only invite my cousin and her partner, and not their young daughter? If they lived locally I wouldn’t hesitate, but as they’ll have to travel internationally I wonder if that changes things. We have such a small guest list as it is, and I really would prefer not to have young children in attendance.

21 Comments

Latest activity by Abbie, on April 27, 2021 at 07:30
  • Abbie
    Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    Thanks for your insight! I certainly don’t dislike kids but we’re so close to having a kid-free wedding which is what we’d really prefer! 😅 it’s more of a budget-50....50 guests is all we can stretch our budget too and we’re trying to make some cuts!
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  • Abbie
    Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    That’s fair, it all depends on the individuals’ comfort levels!
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  • L
    Curious August 2021 Alberta
    Lindsay ·
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    If it’s a COVID number 50, I would only invite your cousin and her partner, and if it’s a venue number 50 I would check and see if it pertains to children under 2. Most often a child under two does not need a separate seat from a parent so they do not count as an extra body... at least that was our experience when travelling and attending events with our daughter when she was younger. But if you aren’t a kid person, and don’t want a baby at your wedding, don’t invite the baby! Parents aren’t offended when their kids aren’t invited, we get it a lot so it’s not a big deal.
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  • Alexis
    Devoted July 2021 Ontario
    Alexis ·
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    I mean a baby figuratively lol I don’t have any kids
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  • Alexis
    Devoted July 2021 Ontario
    Alexis ·
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    Personally, if I had a wedding invitation to go to another country without my baby I wouldn’t go. But I know some people would.. You could always call her and get input on what she would think of that idea?
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  • Abbie
    Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    Thank you - and thank you for the input ☺️
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    Yeah I don't think it would really be an extra cost, at least not a very big one. But it would definitely be easier not to invite the baby and not even have to worry about it! Hopefully everyone is cool about whatever you decide to do Smiley smile

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  • Abbie
    Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    Oh nice!! Smiley smile
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  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
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    Exactly what my MOH is thinking! Her and her husband never got to go on a honeymoon so they are gunna use this trip as a bit of a honeymoon and their kids love spending time with their grandparents!
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  • Abbie
    Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    Could be fun for both parents and child to have a little holiday Smiley smile
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  • Abbie
    Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    It’s honestly just a budget limitation! 50 guests is really all we can afford and the room is set up to accommodate roughly 50 people. Hopefully COVID won’t be a limiting factor by then, but who knows! :/
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    Yeah I mean there's no way she's eating an adult sized meal lol.

    Is the 50 person limit due to covid or is it a venue limit? If it's a venue thing I'd just ask them if they'd count a 1.5 year old toward the limit. I know some of them offer children's meals which are less expensive but since she's going to be so young she might not even need that. She probably would require a high chair though.

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  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
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    I think so too!! If the grandparents are local the child is probably very used to being around them so I think it should be okay!
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  • Abbie
    Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    Yes, thankfully no toddlers haha! I was thinking she’d require a meal and take up one of our already limited 50 spots, but perhaps not? I guess she could share off of her parents’ plates? What do people with babies do in these circumstances? 🤨
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    Oh I mean in that case - it's still obviously totally up to you - but since you're not opening yourself up to the "why can her baby come but my can't" questions, having one baby there probably wouldn't be a big deal. If you think this might cause family issues or resentments it might be worth letting them bring her. She's not going to require a meal and it's very likely they would leave a bit early to put her to bed - and they still might decide not to come just because it's a hassle to travel with a baby. I just think it's very different having a baby there vs a 5 or 6 year old that could be disruptive and running around all night.

    But totally your call and if you really don't want the baby there stick with your no small children rule! I would probably also still stick to no small children in your situation and deal with any resulting drama Smiley xd

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  • Abbie
    Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    This was my initial thought too - that leaving their daughter with either set of grandparents would be the best option Smiley smile my Mum thinks 1.5 years old is too young for that, but I would think as their family is local to them it would be a viable option?
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  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
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    Is there anyone they could leave their child with while they come? My MOH and her husband are coming from Ontario (to Alberta) for my wedding and they are leaving their children with her husbands parents for the week. They have said they are looking forward to taking a trip just the two of them!
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  • Abbie
    Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    We actually don’t have any one else with young children invited to the wedding. None of my friends have children, and my only other cousins are 15 and 16. She would be the only one requiring childcare, for better or for worse!
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    Does your cousin know anyone else attending the wedding who has kids? If so she could try to piggyback on whatever they're doing for childcare. Or are you providing any sort of childcare recommendations for your guests?

    If she can't find anyone to watch her daughter in Canada I can't imagine they'd come to your wedding and, not that I think it's fair at all, but this is something people tend to make a fuss about. But like you said you aren't really close with her, so if that's okay with you then I'd stick to your guns with no children.

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  • Abbie
    Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
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    Thanks Vinod! I would absolutely understand if they declined based on not being able to bring their daughter, but at least then I would have invited them and hopefully that counts for something Smiley smile
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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    It your guest list is being particular to the guest invited, the name itself will say it and no one else. You know if she does decline based on her daughter not able to make it or her partner for the not invited reason. In this case, it may say Adult Evening only so that no children are invited unless your making your cousin feel bad. I do get where your coming from of not knowing her partner and to not have young children at all, it doesn't seem fair to have any other family to have their children attending in that manner. Plus how often will you being seeing her and her family to know who he is and the kind of person in her life. She is in a serious relationship at this point to consider. Just to say, none of my family apart from my parents and brothers/SIL got to know my fiancé beforehand of the wedding. The family who attended our wedding got to meet my husband Wayne that time only. The circumstances of being in the relationship I was in, my parents felt he wasn't welcome to being part of the wedding to attend as my partner.
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