Inviting coworkers to the wedding.

I work a few jobs, so there's no way I can invite everyone.. I decided to invite the ones I'm really close with/have known for years. Some others will receive reception only invitations for after dinner so they can come to dance and drink and celebrate! I'm writing it off as saying we unfortunately just dont have the space for everyone

I’m lucky enough to have my wedding cross country during a busy work season. My coworkers wouldn’t be able to all get time off to travel.

It’s presumptive of her to assume she’s getting an invite and I think you should feel comfortable inviting who you want without guilt.

I don’t think you should have to do this but if you’re keen on appeasing everyone, maybe one afternoon you bring in a wedding sheet cake and make it a work celebration that ends there and then whoever actually gets an invite can just stay mum about real time wedding.

Stay strong in what hat you decide though.

You don't need to bring it up to her and inform your other coworker to keep it on the downlow. The one who has marked her calendar can be said that you're full on your list.

Don't let others assume they are instantly invited just because she works with you. Its terrible to think that she wants to come for a free meal on your expense.

At the end of the day it’s your wedding and you shouldn’t have to invite anyone you don’t want to. I’m super selective about our guest list and I’m absolutely fine with it because a) I can’t invite everyone and b) I only want people there who are special to me (on my side of the guest list).

I am also somewhat struggling with this. I'm quite close to my boss and one of my co-workers. Our office just expanded to include two more people (to a grand total of five of us). I kinda want my boss and Conference Manager to come because I really do love them so much, but I wonder if it's appropriate to invite them to the wedding? on the other hand, is it rude to exclude them, since we're all so close? Either way, I'm definitely not inviting the other two, and I don't think they'd mind, really.

Just be real with people. Tell your one co-worker that you're honoured that she's so excited but that the budget limits the guest list and if things change, they're on your mind. Ask the co-workers you DO invite to keep it quiet (they won't, but at least you can say you did your due diligence). Try not to feel bad!

I have been very blunt to people at my work that we just can't open it to coworkers.... it's so hard because if you invite one you have to invite them all and I just cant afford it. So far everyone had been very understanding!

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I agree with this, I work in a large office but my department is fairly small. I am close with just over half my department so to save on drama I will just invite them all. I will not be inviting anyone else in the office though.

Moving forward, any time anyone in your office refers to going to the wedding (even if they are going to be invited), play off the "small/concise/seat limit/budget" cards...

However... the people who aren't invited to not find out there were coworkers going? It's not going to happen, you're not gonna be able to keep that locked down... so honesty is the best policy, and letting someone know "we have our core list, and as we have room we can start to adjust", is probably one of the nicest ways to say "you're not invited".

But the main thing is: DO NOT FEEL GUILTY EVER for someone being suuuuper rude and acting like they are going/invited without ever receiving an invitation or directly being told they'll be invited. It's their fault for making it awkward for everyone, and the only person who should feel bad is them.

I hate people who automatically think they are getting invited!

If you don't want this person invited, then don't invite them! For the coworkers you are inviting, ask them to keep it on the DL around others, but definitely invite them if you want to. If someone asks why they aren't invited you can give out vague excuses like: we only invited family and close friends, we wanted to keep our wedding small, etc.

I'm in a similar situation at work where they are only 3 of us and they all know that I'm getting married and my time off is on our calendar. No one has come out and asked me if they are invited/assume they are. I am for sure inviting the one since he's my boss, we've hung out outside of work but the other one just started here a month ago and we don't know each other well yet. I decided to make a decision when I send out invites whether or not to include him.

Like others have said. you can invite who you want. depending on your office size. it may just cause less headache to invite everyone (but again up to you). I would just tell the couple that you are inviting to not say anything. and for the person that does ask if they are. I would just say, "we are limited on the number that we can invite. and family and close friends have the priority"

I know for me. I work in a small office (there are 4 of us including me). they are all getting invited. but they still would get invited if I left here. I am closer with them.

I'm kind of in that situation too! I'm the only female in my workplace out of 4 employees and we have a lot of spare time so I have been using that time to plan some of the wedding which no one seems to mind. however, my one coworker has recently been asking more questions and whatnot which is okay but he's also asking to be invited to the wedding. he's a good guy but not someone I would ever mesh with outside of work so I've just been saying idk, we haven't made a guest list yet and there will be limited seating as our venue is small (its not but i didn't know what else to say HAHA) Honestly, if there is someone you don't want to invite, you don't have too! There are other people in my "close circle" that I wont be inviting, such as my step sister.. i really don't appreciate that way she has treated me in the past and we haven talked in like 3 years since she lives 4 hours away so I decided I didn't want her at my wedding.. its caused a bit of an uproar but at the end of the day its about who you want there that would make your day complete and if there is someone who might disrupt your happiness on that day, don't invite them.

At the end of the day it is your wedding, and you get to invite who you want.

You could say that you are only inviting people who are really close to you as you are keeping it small.

I am close with 2 coworkers, and am not inviting them because we are only doing family and super close friends. I had one coworker who saw my invitation (I got them delivered to work so they didn't sit out on my front porch) and asked if she was getting one. I literally flat out said no lol.

Little rude if people are just expecting an invitation

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I agree, it's rude of her to even assume she is getting an invite.

I am in a similar situation but am not feeling this kind of push. At my work we have a lot of husband and wives as well as siblings and mother daughters! My boss is the mother of one of my coworkers who I am now friends with- with that being said, I will be inviting my friend but not my boss.

Definitely don’t invite her if you don’t want to. That’s crazy she assumes she’s invited! For me, personally, I’m inviting everyone from my work that I work directly with. However, we recently had an employee who was fired that I wasn’t close with at all, that I had not planned on inviting; and if it was ever brought up I was just going to say it’s a close family and friends affair.

If you don't want to invite her, then don't! It's your wedding and it is disrespectful of her to assume she's invited in the first place. I would ask that your co-workers you intend to invite keep it on the down-low to avoid making her feel bad. Also try to limit how frequently you discuss the wedding at work since it's personal anyway.

I will admit I'm nervous about this too as I only intend to invite one of my co-workers that I'm close to so I'm interested in seeing the advice you're given from others!