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Stephanie
Frequent user August 2022 Ontario

Invitations: When to ask for Rsvps

Stephanie, on March 16, 2022 at 14:10 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 10
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Hello,


My wedding is this August (5th). I was hoping to send out my formal invitations early April and ask for RSVPs by May 9th (hopefully giving guests 4 weeks to respond). I already sent out Save the Dates last November/December of 2021.
I have at least 10-15 people off the top of my head that may not attend due to travel (from Western Canada or USA) to our Ontario wedding venue.
We are keeping the guest list to family only with exception of our wedding party to include close friends. We are allowing children and plus ones for our guests. There is a total of 60 guests being invited.
I know there is a lot of talk of having multiple guest lists to account for those who respond with no to our RSVPs. Do you think having the date for reply’s to be early May — with a week or two to follow up with anyone who didn’t respond enough time to send out extra invites to friends? I have 5-6 people I would invite that are friends to the wedding. I need to have things finalized with my venue owner by June 5th (60 days prior to the wedding date). It seems like a tight turn around time for my extra friends.
Not sure how to approach it. Should I just invite a few extra friends at the same time as the rest of the family? Or should I wait until I get responses to RSVPs? I could move up the RSVP date to account for second round of invites.
Thanks for your help! The countdown to the wedding is definitely ticking!

10 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on March 17, 2022 at 12:39
  • Stephanie
    Frequent user August 2022 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    I like your idea of how to label tables on the seating chart. Only snag is I’m only planning for who sits at what table — not doing place cards for exact seating.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    The date for the RSVP is good for May 21st as it will give you time to send reminders for the remaining guests to respond if haven't done so.

    The one thing I did do for the menu choices is to indicate which meals guests were getting on the seating chart by V - Veg, NV - Non-Veg, and K - Kids Meals. Some have indicated by colour dots or gems. This can be done on the escort cards too so the servers know who gets what meals at each table.

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  • Stephanie
    Frequent user August 2022 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    Thank you, that sounds about right. I like your idea Hank. You’re right, I am still going with snail mail. I’m sending invites to family in the USA and Western Canada too, that’s why I was considering to send them early spring.
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Why does the venue need RSVPs ahead of the head count? That makes no sense.

    If they want the head count and menu choice 30 days in advance (July 6) then you can send out invites in April and ask for your first round of RSVPs for May 20. Nudge anyone who doesn't respond around May 10. On May 21, you can then send out the second round and ask for those RSVPs by June 17. This gives you two weeks to go over the RSVPs, clean the data, and send to the venue by their deadline.

    This is assuming you're doing snail mail since you mentioned formal invites. If you're doing e-vites and RSVPs via website, you can wait even later and condense that timeframe.

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  • Stephanie
    Frequent user August 2022 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    The meal choices and the head count need to be shared with the venue owner at least 30 days out and they want RSVPs returned 45 days prior to the wedding date.
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  • Stephanie
    Frequent user August 2022 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
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    My venue needs general numbers and menu selection 90 days out — a general form to fill out for a check in meeting. Then 60 days out I need to establish the number of guests and relative info so they can make an estimated invoice. At 30 days prior to the wedding I need to finalize number of guests and changes to the invoice before will be made. It does say I need RSVPs at least 45 days prior to the wedding.


    I’m sensing from many I am asking too far in advance.
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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    Oh my gosh! That's crazy!! haha I would defiantly talk to your venue to see what kind of deadline they want first!

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  • Daily
    Expert August 2022 Ontario
    Daily ·
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    Omg!! Amanda. I’m thinking the same I said rsvp by July 4! 😂😂😂 I guest since we are so close to date so it’s only make sense. I haven’t talk to my venue yet. But I need minimum of 70 adults regardless. My guests list is 75 adult right now.
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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    My fiance and I are August 7th and we're sending out invited the first week of May and rsvps need to be back by July 7th. But we only need 2 weeks for final numbers with our venue.
    If you need final numbers by June 9th I would maybe have your rvsp date maybe a week to two weeks before that date.
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Don't over invite people. In the event that everyone RSVPs yes, you would be in a pickle.

    You do not need to give extensions to people for the first round of RSVPs. Just nudge the outstanding guests a week before the deadline. If they don't RSVP, consider them out.

    When you say finalize things with the venue, is that just the head count or do you need all the meal choices, where they're sitting etc? If it's just a headcount, that's fairly easy and you can give the second round of guests up until Friday June 3. But if you need to plan the seating chart and all that, you'll want to give yourself some extra time.

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