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Amanda
Frequent user September 2018 New Brunswick

Invitations to people you know won't make it?

Amanda, on March 20, 2018 at 10:15 Posted in Before the wedding 0 12
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I have a couple elderly family members that I'm planning on sending invitations to even though it highly unlikely that they'll make it to the wedding. (Travel, health etc). I'm mostly just sending them invitations as a sort of keepsake so they don't feel TOTALLY left out.
I'm wondering... should I include a sort of note explaining how much I wish they could be there but understand if they can't make it due to (whatever circumstance). I just don't want it to look stupid, ie my great aunt is quite I'll, and it's pretty much common sense that she's not going to be able to attend... So I don't want to seem stupid or insensitive by sending an invite
ANYWAY. What would you guys do: send an invite as a keepsake? Include a note? Just call then and wish they could make it? Is there a protocol on this sort of thing?

12 Comments

Latest activity by SailandSwan, on May 30, 2018 at 01:27
  • SailandSwan
    Beginner April 2013 South Australia
    SailandSwan ·
    • Dispute

    I agree with Erin. A visit in person before the wedding would be really nice (or depending on distance email/phone call), just so they know you're thinking of them but don't feel obligated in any way.

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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute
    I agree with what the others are saying: send the invitation anyway and respond to their RSVP letting them know they will be missed but you can show them the pictures after if they want (or something along those lines-don’t have to offer to show them pics!)


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  • Erin
    Super September 2019 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute

    I don't think a note is necessary. A phone call or a visit prior to the wedding would be better, if that's possible. We have a similar situation where my fiance's grandfather is bedridden and won't be able to join us. We'll still send him an invitation so that he knows we'd love for him to be there, and we're thinking that a few weeks before the wedding we'll pop in to say hello and tell him we wish he could be there.

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  • Karen
    Expert September 2018 Ontario
    Karen ·
    • Dispute
    I have the same situation. We're still sending them invite so they feel included and keepsake.
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute

    We had some family members that fell in the same category and we just sent them an invite anyway. You don't need the disclaimer to remind them that they are old and/or ill, so I would leave that out. When they RSVP, give them a call and say how sad you are that they won't be able to make it.

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  • Brianne
    Beginner June 2019 British Columbia
    Brianne ·
    • Dispute
    I agree with the others, no need for an additional note. Next time you speak to her you can say that you entirely understand why she can’t be there and she will be missed Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
    • Dispute

    I am in the same boat, I have an entire extra table of "elderly/ill" guests that I know most likely that table won't exist after RSVPs come back. Just send the invite as-is. They know that you're aware of their age/health, and will appreciate the invitation regardless.

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Admin October 2016 North Carolina
    Lynnie ·
    • Dispute

    I would definitely still send and invite and I don't think it needs a disclaimer! When they RSVP or the next time you talk you can bring up how you don't expect them to travel but they will be missed!!

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  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
    • Dispute

    Send an invite, no need to include a note as what if they surprise you and do end up coming! I wouldn't want to put anything in there that made them already think I decided for them.

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  • Dana
    Frequent user April 2018 Ontario
    Dana ·
    • Dispute
    I would also just send the invite as it is and then maybe call them when they RSVP or something like that to say you understand. I think it’s pretty common for people to send invitations to a few a people they know won’t make it
    • Reply
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    • Dispute

    I agree with Becky that you should just send the invitations anyway. We have several guests who we also know won't be able to attend for various reasons but we're just going to send the invitations out as is.

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
    • Dispute

    I just send an invite, they know I am understanding due to health and all that but send because I know they would be hurt if they didn't receive one. When they rsvp you can talk and say we completely understand due to your circumstances

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