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Newbie July 2025 Alberta

Input please! Is this rude or realistic?

Kylie, on March 30, 2024 at 14:33 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 4

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Hello everyone! Some outside perspectives and advice would be very much appreciated here

My fiance and I have tossed around a few different ideas for our day, and we're a little stuck on who should be invited to which events. We want to be able to offset the cost of the bar for our guests, so one idea we had to help save some money was to have a smaller dinner and then a larger reception with appetizers and drinks and dancing.

However, we get tangled up when it comes to the ceremony. I think that it would be odd to invite people to our ceremony and then not feed them a dinner while they wait for the party, and he thinks that a lot of friends would understand our desire to have a smaller family-focused dinner and they'd be happy to see the ceremony then come for the reception and party afterwards.

Is this a faux pas? Would it be rude to invite people to the ceremony and then not the dinner? Or is this becoming more the norm?

Thanks in advance!

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Christine, on April 24, 2024 at 02:23

Newbie July 2026 Ontario
Christine · On April 24, 2024 at 02:23
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Could you do a twonie bar? Or have it open only for a few hours and then its cash bar?
I agree if I'm invited to the ceremony and then reception, but asked not to come to dinner, I wouldn't feel great.
Will your venue work with you on maybe having a smaller selection of alcohol that is 'included' but the a premium drink be cash?
This is another reason we decided to go with a brunch reception vs a big dinner. The cost of the alcohol was the same as a plated meal - it was cuckoo bananas to me!!!
Good luck....let us know what you decide to do.
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Curious November 2025 Ontario
Ashley · On April 10, 2024 at 10:30
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So from my understanding -- You're inviting guests to the ceremony and reception, but you are trying to save money on food and thus only inviting a small amount of people to the dinner portion.

I do not necessarily think that is rude. You could just explain to your guests that they are still invited to the reception, but you are on a budget so you are only having a small dinner. Maybe a little compromise is- the guests who are going to the ceremony and reception, but not the dinner, you could have cocktail hour type foods out for those guests not going to the dinner.
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Featured August 2022 Ontario
Kate · On April 8, 2024 at 08:12
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Hi Kylie,
Just so I understand, is your thinking to invite some to the ceremony, not to the dinner, but then have them come back for the larger reception - appetizers, drinks, and dancing? If this is the case, I mean I think it is slightly better then not inviting guests to a reception completely. It could come across like you're just doing a little personal family dinner in between but at the same time, it could be a little awkward for the vibe and timeline of the day and also, would there be enough time for all of that? Not sure what time your ceremony is set for but it's always nice not to have such a huge gap in between ceremony and reception in my opinion.
I feel like I'd be more inclined to either modify the guest list so it's less people and do one ceremony with dinner, drinks, etc. and everyone invited or, if you find it hard to cut guests from the list, just invite everyone but load up on appetizers for the reception and let people know there is no dinner being offered. Good luck!
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Featured August 2022 British Columbia
Amanda · On April 7, 2024 at 12:10
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If I was a guest to your ceremony and not invited to the reception I wouldn't feel that great imo.
If you're inviting guests to your ceremony, it just out of respect that you invite them to your reception,
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