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Kylie
Newbie July 2025 Alberta

Input please! Is this rude or realistic?

Kylie, on March 30, 2024 at 14:33 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 3

Hello everyone! Some outside perspectives and advice would be very much appreciated here Smiley smile

My fiance and I have tossed around a few different ideas for our day, and we're a little stuck on who should be invited to which events. We want to be able to offset the cost of the bar for our guests, so one idea we had to help save some money was to have a smaller dinner and then a larger reception with appetizers and drinks and dancing.

However, we get tangled up when it comes to the ceremony. I think that it would be odd to invite people to our ceremony and then not feed them a dinner while they wait for the party, and he thinks that a lot of friends would understand our desire to have a smaller family-focused dinner and they'd be happy to see the ceremony then come for the reception and party afterwards.

Is this a faux pas? Would it be rude to invite people to the ceremony and then not the dinner? Or is this becoming more the norm?

Thanks in advance!

3 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on April 10, 2024 at 10:30
  • Ashley
    Curious November 2025 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    So from my understanding -- You're inviting guests to the ceremony and reception, but you are trying to save money on food and thus only inviting a small amount of people to the dinner portion.

    I do not necessarily think that is rude. You could just explain to your guests that they are still invited to the reception, but you are on a budget so you are only having a small dinner. Maybe a little compromise is- the guests who are going to the ceremony and reception, but not the dinner, you could have cocktail hour type foods out for those guests not going to the dinner.

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  • Kate
    Featured August 2022 Ontario
    Kate ·
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    Hi Kylie,

    Just so I understand, is your thinking to invite some to the ceremony, not to the dinner, but then have them come back for the larger reception - appetizers, drinks, and dancing? If this is the case, I mean I think it is slightly better then not inviting guests to a reception completely. It could come across like you're just doing a little personal family dinner in between but at the same time, it could be a little awkward for the vibe and timeline of the day and also, would there be enough time for all of that? Not sure what time your ceremony is set for but it's always nice not to have such a huge gap in between ceremony and reception in my opinion.

    I feel like I'd be more inclined to either modify the guest list so it's less people and do one ceremony with dinner, drinks, etc. and everyone invited or, if you find it hard to cut guests from the list, just invite everyone but load up on appetizers for the reception and let people know there is no dinner being offered. Good luck! Smiley heart

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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    If I was a guest to your ceremony and not invited to the reception I wouldn't feel that great imo.

    If you're inviting guests to your ceremony, it just out of respect that you invite them to your reception,

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