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Katelyn
Super October 2019 Ontario

I'm stressing.

Katelyn, on September 14, 2019 at 13:29 Posted in Before the wedding 0 53
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Guys I'm a bit upset. We put a deadline on our invitations for mid august so we could confirm our numbers. Well we confirmed our numbers on wednesday and paid for the venue so now it's set in stone. But in the last week we have had about 7 cancellations. And I'm honestly kind of angry. What should I do about this?

53 Comments

Latest activity by Katelyn, on September 18, 2019 at 08:11
  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    Thank you very much! Only 17 days away!
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  • Mackayla
    Newbie August 2022 Alberta
    Mackayla ·
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    Well enjoy the food!!! And enjoy your wedding!!
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    Well there's not really anything to be done as its paid for. I was really just venting. I'm just going to eat the cost. Literally haha.
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  • Mackayla
    Newbie August 2022 Alberta
    Mackayla ·
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    Oh I understand. I think the best thing is to talk to your caterer. They would know what to do.
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    At that point what's the point when I can just take leftovers home instead of inviting strangers just to fill seats? We were pretty generous with plus ones to begin with so it just seems silly to have people bring people just because we have spots. Also that invited an opportunity for too many people to show up.
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  • Mackayla
    Newbie August 2022 Alberta
    Mackayla ·
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    Hmmm maybe ask your friends to bring a friend.
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    I already asked. Unfortunately anyone they would have invited won't be around at the time of the wedding.
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  • Mackayla
    Newbie August 2022 Alberta
    Mackayla ·
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    What about your parents do they have anyone they want to invite?
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    No but that just it isn't it they have had months! We sent ours out in May (plus save the dates I think in feb) and we have started to get people (on his side) asking where the venue is and what time is starts ect. I even took the time to put a map in the invitation for everyone so they could easily find it. I was very detail oriented. And it feels like a slap in the face that they just lost my invitation. I also pre addressed and stamped our rsvps and we only got maybe half back.
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  • A
    Devoted October 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    Oh I totally get how you feel. Our deadline was this past weekend. We had been chasing people down for the past week to get answers. I did become a bit of a bridezilla about rsvps but at this point I really dont care. My side was good at getting back but his side is annoying bad at giving the run around. We sent out the invitations for them back in February as they are out of province. I feel horrible for saying " they've had months to figure this out, if they dont know now than they aren't coming"
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    Yah that's been everyone else's position too but we already invited everyone we could.
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  • Mackayla
    Newbie August 2022 Alberta
    Mackayla ·
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    Hope you were able to fill the spots. If not, hope this helps, if you have anyone that didn’t make the cut the first time revising the guest list you can always invite them to fill the gaps. Sending you good vibes and good luck!!
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    It's already paid for so no unfortunately not.
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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Oh man ummm can you contact your venue and tell them you typed the wrong # LOL!

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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    Already done.
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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Can you invite some coworkers instead? since the plates are already paid for? extended friends? families? or give some people +1 s

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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    Thank you! I appreciate the support and advise.
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  • Christina
    Newbie October 2019 Quebec
    Christina ·
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    Hope you're not feeling too overwhelmed about the situation. Sending love and positive vibes your way! Like others have mentioned, I would definitely get in touch with the people who chose to cancel and see whether they had a valid reason and state how you feel about the situation. If they're close enough to you to receive an invite to your wedding, they you should feel able to be completely honest with them about the situation they have put you in. Paying for a 'no show' is not ideal, so try to get them to understand this. No need to confront anybody, just try to get them to see your side of things.

    Hope everything works out for the best and you'll love every minute of your special day regardless.


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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    I certainly hope so but oh well if they dont.
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    The average cost of a wedding in canada is $30000. So I would hope people understand how expensive it is to pay for a no show. But some people simply don't care. Oh well these things happen. On the bright side our costs came out to about $12000 as of now.
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    Hopefully your cancellations still send a card (and some $$ to cover their plate that was already paid for!) Smiley xd

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  • Shauntay
    Beginner October 2019 British Columbia
    Shauntay ·
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    That really sucks! have you spoke with each individual that cancelled? Do they have valid reasons lol... Maybe politely mention you have already paid for their plate, and hope that maybe they can make up for it in some way. Idk. .. I'm sure this happens to just about every wedding! Mines oct.19th and i'm sure its going to happen to me ;/ .. Usually people cancelling feel bad and offer to pay for their plate.. but not everyone is aware of food costs at a wedding. IDK! I hope some people come around and make up for it in some way for you!!

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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    Already invited as many as we could it won't be missing to many people also yes I am so glad no sit down dinner. Smiley xd
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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    Ugh, I'm definitely stressed about this, especially after finishing the seating plan last night. I understand that things come up at the last minute and they have to unfortunately cancel, but the ones that just "change their mind" are the worst! (Aren't you glad you're not doing a sit down dinner with a seating chart now? lol)

    Unfortunately there's nothing you can really do - let yourself be angry for a bit and then move on. It sucks that you paid your venue already so you are paying for those 7 butt-heads that cancelled, but again, nothing you can really do, unless you have 7 people you can invite.

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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    Well the thing is we aren't doing a sit down dinner its finger foods and stationary platters. But we still pay per person. So like I said in a previous comment we wont notice on the day that there is anyone missing. But we will still have to pay extra.
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  • Jasmin
    Curious October 2021 Ontario
    Jasmin ·
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    I’m so sorry to hear that!! Unfortunately this happened to a lot of my gfs at their weddings.. I had to do a mirror seating chart for one and I had to do 3 whole table corrections 😭 my fiancé also had a last minute emergency and couldn’t attend the wedding, but made sure to at least pay for his meal (Asians usually gift money so we put in extra for his meal). I know the caterers usually space out the chairs more so u don’t notice seats are missing! Don’t let this upset you, you have so much to look forward to 💕💕
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  • Emily
    Expert September 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    Oh I’m so glad to hear that!🙏❤️
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    Yeah with the style of wedding we are having we really wont notice the missing people on the day.
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    Hey welcome! I'm so glad that you're a part of the community. Dont be too scared. No matter what happens the wedding will be amazing and special. As much as it does upset me I got to invite some extras that didn't make the first cut. And we get to take home leftovers so that's really great!
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  • Emily
    Expert September 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    Ugh this is so stressful. This happened at my friends wedding last week, there was like a half a table empty Smiley sad

    Based on others comments I’m not sure what else I can suggest but definitely try not to let it get you down 💕 (easier said than done I know!!!) enjoy your day with the people who WILL be there s to celebrate your love.
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  • Kimberly
    Newbie August 2021 Manitoba
    Kimberly ·
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    Hey I’m really new here and I just wanted to say, I’m so sorry! I know everyone has stuff going on in their lives, but people that just cancelled without much of a reason - rude much?

    I’m really far from my date and learning a lot. It kinda makes me nervous about potentially paying for people that are gonna flake, I never even thought about it.
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  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
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    That's what everyone else's suggestions have been. And we have already done that and don't have anyone else to invite.
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