i dont know if i can handle any more last minute changes...

I've been trying to actively reminding myself that we are getting married for the marriage NOT the wedding day itself. I think we have to accept that not everyone is going to be on board with every decision we make but unless they are the ones walking down the aisle or coughing up the $$ then they need to back off a little. A lot of my friends who are already married have said they regret using so much of their energy to please others. Your Mother is obviously different but hopefully once you guys talk it out she may be fine with the plans, could have been a misunderstanding? My Mom is super overwhelmed and getting a little outta control so I can see hurt feelings in our future already haha please also keep in mind that little disagreements will be a distant memory when everyone watches you and your fiance tie the knot!

As for this bridesmaid flaking out business - agreeing to be in a wedding party (the Bride's especially) is a commitment. She should have realized that going in - since she has already bailed once before I would tell her you have already changed the plans and it would work better if she came as a guest and you are happy she can make it. Also tho if you think shes just gonna bail again that's a plate of food going to waste and if you are doing a big delicious (costly) dinner that's a big no no to RSVP and not show up. Every wedding will have a few but if you can catch it ahead of time then may as well.

Best of luck! Take some big deep breaths and try to remember why you are doing this I second Stephanie's advice below - "Bring me a solution, not a problem" totally going to make that my mantra haha

I felt the same way when it was a couple months before my wedding. But, it didn't matter the day of. You can change plans or not, at the end of the day, you will be married.

Maybe there is a way you can accommodate your mom. Or, maybe just apologize, say you thought this was a good idea to include her and the in-laws but that the day is set now.

Another thought I just had was bring it back to your mom. What would she like to see happen that day? I heard a phrase on a podcast that I really liked "bring me a solution, not a problem". Your mom (dad) brought you a problem. So, what do they think should be done to solve that problem? It's still up to you if you want to take their suggestion, but it at least puts some of the onus on them to try to solve the problem and relieve some of your stress.

Wedding stress sucks! And I know this sounds so mean, but trust me, I mean it with love... Those things you mentioned ? If they don't go perfectly? They will not ruin your day. Try to focus on all the good, your fiance, imagining walking down the aisle to him... By then, it won't matter where you got ready or whether or not your friend is sitting in one of the rows somewhere... it's all about you and him.

Now speaking more like how I would react (because I'd be having a similar panic attack)... is your friend wanting to be back in as a bridesmaid? Then I'd say no, but you'd love her there as a guest (so if she does bail it's a simple removal of one seating card).

As for your mom, just ask her what's up. The guessing game is the most stressful. If you were planning on having her wherever you're getting ready, that should be fine. Sleeping wherever she is or whatever isn't really necessary... I think it's more traditional to have that night with your bridesmaids or MOH.... Your mom could have just been having a rough day and ranting, and your dad might have thought it's worse than it is. But no point in speculating, just ask your mom!

Good luck! It will be wonderful!

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I'm glad I'm not the only one !

And I am not 100% sure as it was my father that came to me about it, I wanted to think about it a bit before I talked to her. The way it sounds from him, is that I think she feels left out , as I am her daughter and she wants to spend the time with me, but I wonder if it is just miscommunication as I thought she was going to be apart of the getting ready at my MIL 's . So I am a bit confused as to what the issue is. I am going to see if me staying the night at her house instead would help her with it, as the entire wedding party was to get ready at my MIL to make the getting ready pictures easier , since myself and my fiancé want them of the girls and the guys. I worry if we change location for the girls that the photographer is going to be rushed and have to do too much travelling because the other options are at least 45 minutes away...

I am hoping I can get a better answer out of her because it breaks my heart if she is upset about this.

Weddings plans change over time and need adjusting. It doesn't mean your timings will.

Go through your plans to rearrange.

You should sit down with your mom to see whats bothering her about the day of wedding plans and fix up the situation.

Your bridesmaid should decide and stick to it. It isn't fair to you to play these games so late in time. You decide if you need her or don't since you have so much to do and take care of. Let her come as a guest otherwise to your wedding.

Jessica, I feel you girl! I am only 19 days away and dealing with the same issues. Take a deep breath, remember this day is about YOU TWO. Do what makes you happy.

why is your mom upset about the getting ready??

Heyy don't worry. Wedding plans do change a lot and in general everything is stressful for the bride. Mainly guest drama is the bulk of it. So far my bridesmaids have been flaky, my family is causing drama, I've had to invite my BILs girlfriend i hate, I've been questioned "why is so and do invited", I'm not coming if so and so is coming, and I feel severely judged that it's a small practical wedding.

So hang in there and set some time to relax. For me I stop all wedding related activity at 5 and do yoga. I have 2 close friends to talk about my stress with. And I'm super glad my fiancee is supportive. I have 4 days and had 2 stress breakdowns seemingly over nothing

So try your best. If not consider eloping.