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Newbie April 2021 Alberta

How to uninvite

Katelyn, on November 19, 2019 at 23:05 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 7
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So I have come into an issue. Wedding is less than a year away and I just sent out save the date emails (weddings on a long weekend and all MY family is from a different province)... My problem is, is that my sister (MOH) broke up with her gf (who I'm still friends with) and she has known the date of the wedding before the StheD's went out.... my sister feels uncomfortable with the idea of her being there... How would you go about politely uninviting someone?? Does that make me selfish?

7 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on November 21, 2019 at 11:36
  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
    • Dispute

    If youre still friends with her can you seat her on the opposite side of your sis? i mean if your sis is MOH she will be very busy and have no interaction with the ex. Also do you see yourself continuing to talk to the the ex for the next 10 years? if not i would text her and say im sorry to do this but my sister is very hurt by the break up and it would be hard for her to see you. Im sorry youre unable to come to the wedding.

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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    This is going to be such a heart breaker to make between your sister and her ex. Politely explain to your sister's ex that she may have to be excluded from the wedding due to your sister being in the wedding party and uncomfortable seeing her as a guest.

    After your day, get together with you friend and celebrate without your sister's presence. This way it will give you and your husband a chance to catch up with her alone.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute

    I agree with Samantha. If she is still your friend then I wouldn't univite her unless it was a really messy break-up.

    At the same time, maybe you could have a talk with her and explain to her that it's still fresh and that there is always a chance that after time has passed your sister might be fine with it and then she can still be there for you. Explain to her that you feel like you are between a rock and a hard place and I'm sure that if she really is your friend that she will understand where you are coming from.

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    I don't think it's selfish at all. I would reach out to that person and let them know that your sister would be uncomfortable if they were to attend.


    I do agree that you could wait a bit and see if feelings change, but I would make sure that person knows they are no longer invited at least a few months in advance so they don't make travel plans.
    Unless the two of you were very close I'm sure she will understand.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Expert October 2021 Nova Scotia
    Michelle ·
    • Dispute

    I would honestly wait a little bit before you say anything. With your wedding being still 10 months away feelings could change in the next couple of months.

    If closer to the wedding your sister still feels uncomfortable with her ex being there then it is your decision if you chose to un-invite her. She may already assume she's been un-invited since the breakup

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Super June 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
    • Dispute

    I don't think that makes you selfish, but you said that you're still friends with her. In my mind, your wedding is about you and your FH and who you want to share your special day with, and if that includes your sister's ex then I'd just be looking for a different table for her to sit at. But if it's going to cause a big rift with your sister then explain the situation to the friend, and if she's a good friend to you she'll understand. She might even already be thinking about not coming for this reason.

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    • Dispute

    Definitely not selfish. I think if you just explain to your sister's ex that it might be uncomfortable to have her there (for obvious reasons), and hopefully she understands.

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