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Curious October 2021 Ontario

How to Tell a Friend You Don't Want to Hire Them For Your Wedding

Veronica, on October 30, 2020 at 13:28 Posted in Beauty 0 11
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I have a friend who recently (within the past 1-2 years) started pursuing a career as a freelance makeup artist full-time. I know she is really trying to hustle to make her way and I've tried to be supportive of her pursuing her dreams and passions. However, if I'm being honest I really don't like her makeup style - it is very heavy and she is still new to perfecting her technique (i.e. makeup isn't blended enough, liquid liner is noticeably uneven). I'm someone who really wants a natural makeup look for my wedding and rarely wear makeup on a day to day basis so it is important to me to not feel uncomfortable with how I look during the wedding.


Anyways, I know she is going to offer to do my makeup for my wedding and I need some advice on the best way to turn her down gently. I don't want to hurt her feelings but she is very forward and from past experience with her she has an expectation that her friends support her career by both hiring her for their events and referring her makeup services. She had a bit of a falling out with another mutual friend recently who got married and decided not to hire her for the wedding.


Anyone else been in a similar situation? Even if it is not makeup, I'm wondering how people handle friends who expect to be hired for their wedding in some format (photography, stationery, florals, etc.)?


Thanks!

11 Comments

Latest activity by Aya, on December 30, 2020 at 01:32
  • Aya
    Beginner May 2021 Quebec
    Aya ·
    • Dispute
    You can say a family member of yours booked you as a surprise with another (rly good) makeup artist and it's part of their gift
    • Reply
  • V
    Curious October 2021 Ontario
    Veronica ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    Thanks everyone! This is all helpful advice. I don't want to rush to hire another makeup artist just because of her potential reaction to not being hired for my wedding but I think not wanting to hire her because I want her to attend and have fun as a guest is a good strategy for gentling telling her no.

    • Reply
  • Alexis
    Frequent user July 2021 Ontario
    Alexis ·
    • Dispute
    I have a friend who is the same. She’s a makeup artist and she’s not my bridesmaid but she will be getting ready with us. I’m just going to tell her well in advance I want her to be a guest I don’t want her stuck working instead of enjoying herself lol
    • Reply
  • Amelia
    Featured October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    I love the plan to book before she asks. Not gonna lie, that is the most painless way to do this.


    If that doesn't work I would show her what you want and book a "trial" and see how it turns out. At least then you will be able to let her know why it isn't what you wanted, and maybe give her a chance to grow and try a new style. Or maybe she will have improved and you'll like it (or like it enough to let her do the bridesmaids makeup).
    • Reply
  • Geneviève
    Super September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
    • Dispute
    Definitely 100% go out and book a makeup artist now so when she asks, you’re already booked with someone, oh no! Hopefully she’ll take that and not make things weird between you/not take no for an answer. Even if you don’t have someone booked, if you’re firm with what you want, how they act just reflects back on them. You’re not obligated to book her if you don’t want to.
    • Reply
  • Christiana
    Devoted November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    View quoted message

    This. But try not to lie and actually book someone! I used to do makeup and I'm not sure about your area, but it was a fairly close knit community. A lot of freelancers also work at department stores or drug stores or work for a brand where they move from store to store. A lot of people know each other or know friends of friends. She'll likely ask you who you're going with and if she doesn't know the person chances are she'll have a friend that knows the person.

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  • Mais
    Featured September 2020 Ontario
    Mais ·
    • Dispute
    Tell her you want her to enjoy the wedding like any other guest and not have her worry about your make up and instead enjoy your wedding so she can be fully a part of it as a guest! As you want to Treat her like a friend and not as a vendor. That way looks like you are doing her a favour and you don’t want to give her any kind of pressure and just fully enjoy the wedding lol
    • Reply
  • Arexy
    Featured October 2020 Ontario
    Arexy ·
    • Dispute
    Better yet, tell her you made a prior commitment with another artist.
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  • Arexy
    Featured October 2020 Ontario
    Arexy ·
    • Dispute
    Is she a guest? I would use that as an excuse. Otherwise, lie! “Oh thank you for the offer, that is very sweet, however I am just going to do my own makeup for the day”. Deny deny deny hahahaha
    • Reply
  • Gloria
    Expert October 2021 Ontario
    Gloria ·
    • Dispute
    Agreed with want Christiana said. Let her know you appreciate it very much (maybe to make her feel better you could ask her to do your make up for your bachelorette party or bridal party). Otherwise let her know that you want her there and want her to enjoy the day rather than be worried and have to work during your big day so that she has time to also get ready herself Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Christiana
    Devoted November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
    • Dispute
    Ohh that’s awkward. I think the best sort of “excuse” you could give is that you want her to enjoy the day as a guest rather than having to work. If I were in your position I would book someone else ASAP and that way she can’t insist that she’ll do it because you’ve already paid a deposit or something. She might be disappointed but hopefully she’ll get over it. Maybe she could still do your makeup for another less important wedding event?
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