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Devoted June 2022 Ontario

How to include friends when not having a bridal party

Laura, on March 8, 2020 at 22:09 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 10

FH and I decided right away not to have a bridal party as it would mean having to have seven people on each side (no thanks). However, I know my best friend would really want to be my MOH and I am feeling bad that we aren't having a bridal party. I haven't told her yet as i've been trying to find a way to include her and make her feel special. Another best friend of hers got married and she wasn't picked as the MOH and I know it hurt her feelings. I've read that if you aren't having a bridal party then you just shouldn't ask people for help planning if they don't get the title so I feel stuck in a hard place. Any advice?


Latest activity by Carly, on March 17, 2020 at 07:19
  • Carly
    Frequent user May 2022 British Columbia
    Carly ·
    • Dispute
    Someone I went to high school with didn’t have a bridal party (I’m assuming same concerns as you about large party) but they did have what they called a “bridal crew”. No one had specific titles, but these people all played a role if they wanted to (no obligation), and they did a few group pictures with all of them. The guys were all given a pocket square and tie that was a matching colour, and all the girls were told what they could ware the wedding colour (no obligation, but they all ended up doing it) and were given a matching hair clip type of thing. The pics of the ceremony had the two of them at the aisle, but the couple of group pictures had about 20 people in it
    • Reply
  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Have her do a reading at your ceremony location or give a speech or have her sign as a witness to your marriage licence

    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    Friends can say a poem/reading of their choice to celebrate the friendship bond or be witnesses as the wedding itself.
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Devoted June 2022 Ontario
    Laura ·
    • Dispute

    Thanks everyone for the advice. I have two sisters and FH has one brother (but so many close, close friends) and we just want to avoid the demands of a bridal party. I will likely have her be a close part in the planning as I know she really wants to be, and maybe ask her to wear our wedding colour if she wants and get her some floral for her hair.

    • Reply
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute

    You still need witnesses for the wedding - would you want her to be yours? I also like the idea of just a MOH and Best man, but know that it wouldn't have worked for me and my DH due to him having 2 best men. In the end we had 5 on each side which didn't feel like too many?

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Expert July 2021 Ontario
    Sarah ·
    • Dispute
    How about having just a MOH and best man? Otherwise I would only ask for help with light duties..: but that’s just me.. at least with MOh she can help with bigger things like plan the bachelorette and you won’t feel guilty about it
    • Reply
  • Megan
    Frequent user April 2021 Ontario
    Megan ·
    • Dispute

    I'm also not having a bridal party. I think all my friends breathed a sigh of relief.

    I asked my sister to be my witness, and my oldest friend who have wanted to been MOH to plan my bachelorette. They were both super happy and excited to not have to purchase bridesmaids dresses.

    • Reply
  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    We aren't having a wedding party either. When I told my friends they were all very understanding.

    I've asked friends for help assembling centerpieces, they came dress shopping with me, 2 are going to emcee at the reception, and I'll ask them if they want to help out with setting up at the bridal shower and if they will plan part of the bachelorette. For me it's been great because I can be a little more in control than if someone else was planning these things for me, and for them there is no expectation and no guilt if they say no to something.
    • Reply
  • Geneviève
    VIP September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
    • Dispute
    We’re kind of in the same boat as you. We are only having one person on each side as a witness (both MoHs) but not a full party. We had friends offer to help in other ways. One friend is doing hair and makeup, another is officiating. We are fortunate that our friends have these abilities in their regular life that they were happy to share with us, and more than happy that we asked. People just want to feel included most of the time in any way how. Anyone who gets upset about not getting a job that you’re not having in your wedding isn’t worth the drama.
    • Reply
  • Alana
    Frequent user July 2022 Ontario
    Alana ·
    • Dispute
    Can you just have a MOH and best man and explain to everyone else that you would like to keep things small?
    You have to do what works for you guys! You only get married once! Your bestie will understand no matter the decision as long as you explain it to her!
    • Reply

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