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Renae
Beginner September 2023 Ontario

How to choose a bridesmaid?

Renae, on September 12, 2022 at 18:01 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 8
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I had a bit of a falling out with my sister who was also my best friend a few years ago, it was a slow unraveling. We are okay-ish now but I still tiptoe around her a lot. Needless to say we both know she's no longer my MOH which we always assumed each other would be our entire lives.


I'm finding it very hard to find a replacement now that the wedding is real. I have one good friend from school that I asked to be my MOH which she can't confirm yet as she's moving across the country soon. Before the falling out with my sister I would have loved this friend as a bridesmaid but now I feel like bumping her up to MOH is a lot.
My fiancé has his BM and groomsman all set. I can't think of another person, much more 2 if my friend can't make it. I'm feeling a little low and don't want my fiancé to not have his side anymore just because of me.
Am I putting too much emphasis on the meaning of bridesmaids and MOH? At this rate I might as well ask a coworker, that's how disconnected I feel from this experience. Maybe casual friends to stand up with you is fine?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Renae, on September 17, 2022 at 09:07
  • Renae
    Beginner September 2023 Ontario
    Renae ·
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    Hi everyone thank you so much for the responses! I really appreciate the thought that it isn't a big a deal as I worried. I have found a MOH! So one down, one to go ha. I like the idea of having a bridesman and have a few names in mind and my fiancé also doesn't care about even numbers either so maybe I'll just stick with what I have. Thank you all!
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  • Malyssa
    Expert October 2022 Alberta
    Malyssa ·
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    I'm sorry to hear of your situation but do not settle just because you feel you need to, I would just stick with uneven numbers. This is what I am doing. My FH could have easily had a large groomsmen side, but I really struggled. I have my bestie who is practically family, and thats about it. No siblings, and even my FH brother's wife, would have felt like a stretch. So rather than me feel like I was picking people just to make it even, or forcing him to only pick one, we went uneven sides. I have my MOH and he has BM and 2 groomsmen and I am so happy with our choices. I'd be happy to share how things go when I have my wedding next month Smiley smile

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  • KELLY
    Super October 2023 Ontario
    KELLY ·
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    My dear friend is my MOH, and the rest of our wedding party will be our kids aged 14-24

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    A casual friend is as good to stand by you knowing they can handle the duties given. Their support is what you're wanting since they won't be as bad that way.
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  • C
    VIP September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
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    I do not know the back story between you and your sister, but she is your sister and you used to be bestfriend, if you have both forgiven each other maybe having her as just a bridesmaid might bring that friendship back, if you want that back. She doesn't have to be MOH but just a bridesmaid. You do not have to have a MOH, nor do you need someone there, I do know it's tradition and it would be nice. You could also ask a cousin, or if your FH has a sister or if you have a Sister in law. It can be anyone. It's really up to you what you want to have. It's becoming more and more popular not to have a wedding party.

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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    My husband and I only had one person standing up for each of us.

    You honestly don't have to pick people just to have the same amount as your FH. It's very common these days to have uneven numbers for bridal parties.

    Don't just pick someone to stand up for you just because. You will have these photos for a lifetime

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Have you considered a bridesman? Any close male friends that would like to stand up there with you?

    Don't emphasize having the same number per side and certainly don't ask someone if they aren't close with you just to so you can have even numbers. Being in a bridal party comes with obligations and costs and it's not something you want to spring on someone as casual as just a coworker. Some people just have a bigger circle than others and it's fine. No point in forcing yourself to be surrounded by acquaintances for the sake of even numbers for pictures. Complete symmetry is overrated anyway.

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  • Stevie
    Frequent user September 2023 Ontario
    Stevie ·
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    Personally, I’m not having a bridal party at all. I don’t think it’s as necessary as everyone makes it seem. If your FH has two people, why not have one stand on either side of the altar so that he has everyone that he wants up there with you guys but it doesn’t look uneven
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