How to ask someone else to be a bridesmaid?

Your not making someone else second best of the choice to ask them to be part of you wedding party. You ask whoever you feel is going to be the right hand person to help any way possible needed at any time.

I had a MOH chosen and asked as she said yes at the beginning. She did let me know she was moving to NF later on as she had to break the news and knew at some point she was moving not breaking my heart in that way. She did still show up for the wedding itself and I was grateful she made it. As for a second choice of MOH, I did ask someone that I felt was not a happy place and got closer to at the time to ask for the answer being yes and feeling excited.

Its hard to feel your second guessing yourself because of the person that is your friend for a long time to get the regret answer of no.

View quoted message

Okay! well from the sounds of it, you should be fine. For example, if someone were to drop from my party and I asked someone else, they would know they are a second choice because I posted my boxes I got them on instagram.

View quoted message So to answer your questions:


1) No I didn’t make a social media post. The only thing I’ve posted wedding wise is my dress on Instagram (my fiancé is not on Insta so he won’t see it) and that we finally found a venue.
2) They do not, I wanted to avoid hurt feelings so no one being asked or considered knew before they received their letter.
3) She has not because no one knows that I’ve picked my bridal party or asked anyone yet.
I’ve made plans to meet my new bridesmaid on Monday to ask her if she can do it - hopefully I don’t get another no but I had two people as “backups” in my mind so we’ll see 😅

I have some questions about this.

1. Did you make a social media post regarding who you picked to be a bridesmaid? For example some like to take photos where they asked everyone with their boxes and what not then made a post on FB and insta.

2. Does the other potential bridesmaid know they were considered and ultimately you decided to go a different way?

3. Did this person express sadness/hurt to you when they were not asked to be a bridesmaid?

I am asking these because if you made a post about it and all your friends saw, they will know for a fact they are now a second choice to whomever you picked first. If this person was upset/ hurt and they told you this and they know about you asking someone else, I may consider asking someone who does not know too much of the details.

If it hasn't been officially announced per social media and you have not talked to anyone about it (besides the people you have asked so far) I don't think there is anything wrong asking someone after the fact.

I asked my sister first to be a bridesmaid then I asked my MOH a few weeks later when I got the chance to see her. So it's not a huge deal to ask people at the same time.

Ultimately, if you have made no such big post about your day regarding the wedding party and no one knows whose gonna ask what, you should have no problem.