Skip to main content
Naomi
Curious September 2018 British Columbia

How to ask for plus ones?

Naomi, on May 9, 2018 at 20:13 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 12
Saved
Reply

We are only inviting plus ones for guests that are in a serious relationship. I will be addressing the invitations only to guests on our list and have asked them to RSVP on our wedding website, where I've removed the option for our guests to add any extra guests. With most of our guests I know if they need a plus one or not, but there are a couple that I'm not sure about. Do you think it would be appropriate to text or email them in advance and ask if they need a plus one before I send the invitations?

12 Comments

Latest activity by Sara, on May 14, 2018 at 10:29
  • Sara
    Devoted October 2018 Ontario
    Sara ·
    • Dispute

    I asked all my guest, well I mostly knew who has and who doesn't but the few people I wasn't sure about I just asked them when I told them I was getting married.

    We have a very small window for guest count so I just wanted to make sure I didn't over invite and then be stuck with having to ask people to de-invite their guests or something equally horrendous.

    • Reply
  • Lor
    Frequent user August 2018 Ontario
    Lor ·
    • Dispute

    There is no room for plus ones. we have decided that if we knew about someone then clearly they've been in a long term relationship... if we didn't then its not long enough of a relationship. we don't want strangers at the wedding. we are paying for it ourselves so no randoms. and we are not letting them invite them themselves as when they RSVP via weddingwire they will see only their name.

    • Reply
  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Admin October 2016 North Carolina
    Lynnie ·
    • Dispute

    Hi Naomi! I think it's also helpful if you leave yourself a little bit of guest list wiggle-room! We had 2 or 3 friends who live in a different city reach out about a plus one - we just hadn't realized they were dating someone! It was definitely nice to be able to accommodate those few extras!

    • Reply
  • Naomi
    Curious September 2018 British Columbia
    Naomi ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    Me too!

    We thought 50-75 people would be nice a number, but FH and I are both from large families so we will be inviting over 140.

    • Reply
  • Erin
    Super September 2019 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute

    Glad that all worked out!

    I'm NOT offering plus ones. Most of my family and friends don't need it. I've already mentioned to most of my friends that if they DO want to bring someone, they should just ask me, since there won't be an option on the invitation or wedding website. If any of my teenage cousins ask, I'll probably say no, unless its super serious. We're having a huge wedding, so any way to keep the numbers down is really important...

    • Reply
  • Andie
    Expert May 2019 Ontario
    Andie ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    Glad to hear it went well for you! I’m always scared that drama will just start unnecessarily, so I’m glad that didn’t happen!
    • Reply
  • Naomi
    Curious September 2018 British Columbia
    Naomi ·
    • Dispute
    Thanks for the advice. 😊 I texted my two friends and asked if they needed a plus one for the wedding. One did and one didn’t.

    The one guest that I thought might need a plus one did, and he even volunteered his partner’s first name. Which was awesome because I didn’t know if they were still a couple, and now I can address the invite to them both.

    My girlfriend is still single, so I told her that if she met a special someone before the wedding to let me know so that I can add him to the guest list. 😉 I’m positive that she would be too polite to ask to bring a boyfriend with her if she did meet one, so I’m glad I contacted her and extended the invitation.
    • Reply
  • Maegan
    Super July 2018 British Columbia
    Maegan ·
    • Dispute
    Wouldnt hurt to ask! And then you can address the invitation directly to them and their plus one by name.

    Anyone who wasnt in a serious relationship (and we had met) when our invites went out did not get a plus one for our wedding.
    • Reply
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    • Dispute

    I'd say just ask them if they have someone special they're involved with who they'll be bringing. It's difficult to look at a relationship and gauge if it's serious based on time (6 months vs 12 months vs engaged vs married), so calling and asking would probably be best.

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Super March 2018 Ontario
    Jessica ·
    • Dispute

    I automatically invited plus ones for those I wasn't sure about. I even gave my MOH a plus one, even though I knew she wouldn't bring one. Just wanted to be certain she felt that she could bring someone along since I had space for them.

    If you are a little more strapped for a guest count, a quick phone call or text would be good. Just keep in mind what Andie said, that they may bring someone anyway even if they aren't a significant other.

    • Reply
  • Andie
    Expert May 2019 Ontario
    Andie ·
    • Dispute
    I would, although then you might run into the dilemma of them saying they need a plus one even though they don’t have a SO. I guess just be mindful of how you word it
    • Reply
  • Jackie
    Devoted April 2019 Ontario
    Jackie ·
    • Dispute
    Why not? I might even have to call some to ask if they can attend our wedding because if they can’t I’d like the chance to invite some friends as most of our guests are family.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
ReCaptcha Verification failed. Please try again.

Related articles

Groups

WeddingWire Article Topics