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Sara
Devoted October 2018 Ontario

How much is your moh or bridesmaids helping with planning?

Sara, on May 22, 2018 at 11:38 Posted in Before the wedding 0 13

I have three bridesmaids and no MOH, and they're super excited about my wedding. But none of them seem willing to help out or offer help. It seems I'm the one that's helping them prepare for the day way more than how much they're helping me. Maybe I'm just being petty, but it's kind of upsetting that I'm planning everything without their help even though they've been talking about this wedding for the last 3 years.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Bianca, on June 7, 2018 at 15:05
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    As of now I just have my sister (MOH) chosen, and I haven't had any tasks for her to assist me with yet. She works strenuous full-time hours and I honestly have just been busy researching vendors and booking things. I think once the DIY stuff comes up, I'll be needing a little more help.

    Once I make a decision regarding my bridesmaids, I doubt I'll be needing them to do a lot (or ask them to) because everyone lives so far from each other and it would be difficult to get people together to help with things.

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  • Genis
    Frequent user January 2019 Alberta
    Genis ·
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    My bridesmaids aren't overly helpful however I haven't asked much of them yet & don't feel the need to! Other than for their dresses! I think that they aren't obliged to help if they can't (mine live all over the place) But I know they would have my back if I needed anything from them!! & I know they will be amazing on the day & week leading up to the wedding!!

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  • Marie-Claire
    Devoted August 2018 Quebec
    Marie-Claire ·
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    My bridesmaids aren't helping me with planning, but I never expected them to. They helped choose their own dresses and one of them planned my bachelorette, and that's pretty much what I wanted them to do.

    It would be nice to have help with the DIY stuff, but the one who lives nearby doesn't really have that kind of artistic talent, and while the other one would absolutely love to help, she lives too far away. So I'm having other friends help me for that.

    Our family members also help us a lot, especially my two married future SILs.

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  • Lucy
    Frequent user July 2019 Ontario
    Lucy ·
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    There's two things to remember when planning a wedding.
    1. No will ever be as excited for your wedding as you are.
    2. Unless they are a vendor, they are under no obligation to help you plan or make anything. That is your job as the bride or groom.

    Is it great if they do give you a hand? Yes, but it's not their responsibility to pull off your wedding. I was absolutely excited to be part of my friends weddings, but that doesn't mean I was going to sit down and handmade 20 centre pieces for that honour.
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  • Gabbie
    Newbie June 2019 Nova Scotia
    Gabbie ·
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    I think the best approach would be to let them know you need help with specific tasks.

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  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    My girls didn't help at all as they don't live nearby at all and would both be traveling to get to the wedding. I wouldn't have expected them to help plan my wedding either even if they had been in town. I would have asked them to help me with certain things (DIY stuff and getting ready the day of) but otherwise I feel it should be up to the couple to plan their own wedding.

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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    We live in BC and are getting married in Ontario. I have 3 bridesmaids and a MOH. My sister, who is a bridesmaid lives 4 hours away from wedding venue, MOH lives 8 hours away from wedding venue and one of my other bridesmaid has turned out to be very useless.. But my childhood friend/bridesmaid is absolutely amazing! She is taking care of designing, printing and sending our wedding save the dates and invitations! She is also available to help with a bunch more still closer to the date!
    But I understand how you feel. Out of two that live where the wedding is only one is willing to help..the other doesn't even ask me if she can help or if I need anything..not even willing to visit for the bachelorette party.
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  • Michelle
    Super September 2018 Alberta
    Michelle ·
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    To be honest I didn't need too much help with the planning, as I'm a fairly organized person in general. I really needed their help with opinions of things but the planning was done between myself and my FH. The reason was that it was our day and we didn't want too many opinions to make our planning more stressful than necessary.

    Now that it's coming closer to the only planning necessary is for day of and pretty much ensuring they are aware of their duties on that day.

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    The bridal party may help in their way or not. Some situations vary based on how involved they get or get caught up in their lives.

    I only had my bridal party of 3 from 4 come out for practises every Sunday 2 months before the month for the reception entrance. Other than that, MOH's had a buck & buck for us 2 months prior to the day.

    Have a meeting with the bridal to clear what expectations you have just stephanie did and you can see if they do it or not.
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  • T
    Curious October 2025 Ontario
    TayCath36 ·
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    Let your bridal party know what you need in terms of help.

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  • Amanda
    Super August 2018 Alberta
    Amanda ·
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    I seem to be planning my wedding by myself as well. My 3 girls haven’t helped plan anything... I’m even planning my own bridal shower and bachelorette party.

    One of my girls is planning her own wedding that is 6 weeks before ours. So her, I kind of understand. One of my other girls lives about an hour and a half away and has 2 children under 2. So I get that it could be a little difficult, but I have had no help with anything... from anyone.

    I’m pretty specific on how I’d like things done, so I expected to be doing most of everything... but some help... even just some time spent together would have been nice...

    Here’s hoping you have better luck with your girls than I did Smiley smile
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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    Let them know what you expect them to do. We had a meeting with all our wedding party to go over their responsibilities the day of.

    ’m not going extravagant with decor so I really only needed help with one thing, which my MOH and local bridesmaid helped put with. My distant bridesmaid is booking our manicures. That’s about all the prep help I needed and they were willing to help out when asked.
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  • J
    Beginner August 2017 Ontario
    Jessica ·
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    I think it's fair to ask them to pull their weight - I would delegate tasks to them regardless of whether they offered or not and make sure I give them a deadline on when I would need it done by - for example: "Hey can you help put together the favours? I need them put together by (insert date)".

    For my wedding none of the people in my bridal party lived in the area so it was difficult for me to delegate tasks to them since I didn't have an easy way of delivering the materials to them, but I was ok to do most of it myself (since I'm a bit of a control freak).

    I think it's assumed when you're in the bridal party that you will be asked to help with the wedding so it shouldn't come as a surprise that they are given a task.

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