How much is too much to ask your bridal party to spend?

View quoted message

Hi!

That is really a good way of doing it. I get it for your daughter. My little sister is one of my MOH and I don't expect her to pay for her dress either!

Good luck for everything

I have been so cautious absolutely asking my girls to spend money. I have 3 ladies in my bridal party, my daughter, SIL and close friend. I'm obviously paying for all my daughters things. When we went dress shopping we choose a few options in different price ranges, I obviously had my top pick but I was very clear with my girls that if their budget didn't allow it we would keep looking. For shoes I told to to wear whatever they wanted, if they already have shoes great!! No need to spend extra if it's not needed. For our hair and makeup, I gave each girl the option to do her own hair and makeup if she wanted to. I did hire someone and thankfully found someone who offered a great price and both girls were happy to book her services as well. My wedding is also out of town and will need a 2 night hotel stay (the day before for rehersal and day of) but I told everyone if they can't make the rehersal it's okay & that if the hotel we booked is out of their price range I'd be happy to help them find somewhere more within their limits. I'm paying for all the day of jewelry as my gift to them & I've asked that they not throw any kind of big parties since I'm not a party kinda girl anyways so no need to spend on something when I'm happy to hang out hang out them and order a pizza instead 🖤

View quoted message Oh yes, you can do that too. Whatever works for you is good. A night out vs. A weekend out is different depending on the price. But it’s totally understandable and makes sense on what you want.


My MOH planned the bachelorette, while my friend planned the Bridal shower. So it really depends on what and who would come once it’s planning in a nice budget too. Haha!
You’re welcome!! 🙏🏾🥂

View quoted message That is really sweet!

Our kids are going to be our wedding party- we are paying for their dresses, hair and makeup. I haven't discussed anything with my MOH yet on this subject but we still have some time...

View quoted message Girl
I like simple but elegant things. I honestly just want a nice girls out without them breaking their banks!

I'm always shocked on how much thesr
Thanks girl!

View quoted message That’s how it is sometimes! Hahahaha! It really depends on the pricing too for what you like and want to have.


Good luck in this planning. Don’t let it stress you out though.

The only thing I expected my bridal party to pay for was a dress and I let them choose. My SIL got a cheaper dress and on sale (black so in pictures you can't tell) versus my sisters and MOH spent closer to $300 on theirs. I did not make them get hair and makeup done, it was their choice (they all did except my SIL preferred to do her own makeup). My sisters chose to throw me a bridal shower and my MOH and SIL helped out. I don't know the details there. As said already for Bachelorette parties - I didn't plan it but I was asked what I wanted. I have been to so so so many and really hate some of the destination ones where we spend so much on activities I would never normally do so I did keep that in mind for mine. Personally, I preferred travelling all the way to Nashville and spending the money to see a city I hadn't been to than the ones I attended in Toronto and Montreal (I'm from near Toronto and now live close enough to Montreal). I didn't want to put any pressure on friends either so I picked a location we could drive to and I knew we'd all enjoy. Covid then factored in so we went down from 15 people to 5 but my other friends planned small local things. Again, no expectations. I do agree when you agree to be in a bridal party, you have to accept you'll be spending money and as a bride it's important to be conscious about what you're asking and it seems like you are!

We have one MOH and one BM. We got all the accessories for the BM and he can wear his own suit. For my MOH I literally went into her closet and picked out a dress that matched my colours. It's up to her if she wants to buy a different dress or anything else. I told her not to plan any parties. The BM has decided to do a bachelor party for FH that was his choice though. I just don't feel comfortable asking anyone to spend anything for our wedding, though I do understand it is the norm. I have been in wedding parties and paid for hair, makeup, dresses, shoes, paid towards stag and does and all the other parties.

Personally, I believe the couple should consider everyone's financial situations first before deciding how much someone should pay for events, outfits, beauty, etc. It helps to keep everyone's budget in mind so you can be aware of pricing to try and accommodate. For my party, I've asked them all what their personal budget is for different areas so I know where I can help them out - and it's a wide range of financial situations. I have a friend who is willing to pay $1000+ for their beauty and outfits and some really limited at $100-200. It's all a give and take. They're committing to a huge part of your day (in more than just a financial way). I feel like you've also got to realize that -much like yourself for your big day - they have things to pay for like rent, food, school, children, etc. I don't think it should be a set "everyone will be paying this amount" when not everyone can afford that. Some flexibility is at play.

View quoted message Wow I'm in shock 😂😂😂

View quoted message That is good! Finding deals like that helps.

View quoted message That is just amazing!

My fiancee and her bridesmaids have not spent a lot on dresses; they found 3 under $200 at a sale a few weeks ago and while they are different designs we are able to get them all in the same color (a plum purple). We are not planning to have a huge bachelorette party or anything like that - it may just be dinner at our home or a restaurant.

I picked azazie for my dresses as they have affordable options and allowed my bridesmaids to pick whichever dress they liked at whatever price they wanted from azazie. Then for shoes I let them pick their own as long as they are silver. One bridesmaid spent $100 on shoes and one spent like $20. I have a friend helping with hair/they will do their own hair. I gave them the option of doing their own makeup or paying for it. I've offered to help pay for things at the bachelorette. I also told them I don't expect any wedding gifts from them. I wanted to try and make it as affordable or flexible as possible for each of their financial situations.

View quoted message For my bachelorette, I think it’s about $350 for all activities, food, accommodation and transport. But then again, I had friends that joined and it was not only the bridal party. My sister (MOH) took care of that, so I’m assuming. Haha


For the $1,800 that I mentioned is per person for someone I saw that made a video about it. Haha. They said they will do it all over again. Some go all out on dresses and shoes for bridesmaids to pay for. My sister paid a lot for her shoes and dress for her friends wedding, I think almost $200 for both. It’s crazy.

View quoted message Yes I hear that choice more now on not having a bridal party...


Your MOH is right on you not spending for those!

View quoted message 😱😱😱


That's a lot!!!! Per person or in total?

I think it depends on the situation!

Personally I have a MOH and that's it. And I wouldn't want my bridal party to be spending tons of $ regardless.

However I'm inviting some good friends for my Bachelorette/bachelor as my fiancé and I are doing a weekend retreat together and doing both (girls are going to a spa day then meeting up with the guys)
However I have told the girls to research places as I know some are tight on budget. I have been told I'm not paying for my spa day however I was 100% going too. My MOH has insisted I don't pay for anything for the bridal shower/Bachelorette weekend as it's her treat and she can afford it. Again I was 100% looking to buy my stuff myself.
My MOH bought all her stuff to wear for the wedding but the dress was$ 150 and nothing too expensive as I'm really not picky. We are getting makeup done for $100

View quoted message Oh it is.
All depends on how you really want to go out with them and on it. I saw so many people would be like about $1,800 or so on the events and activities. My sister spent about $800 for events for her friends wedding that she was a bridesmaid at.

The dress and shoes they purchased was less than $100. Haha! Then the bachelorette was about $600 including pole dancing, Biodome, dinner, food and accommodation in MTL.

View quoted message

I was having this same discussion with my parents and my fiancé, as a couple, we have to take into consideration the people's budget.

I do agree with you that the couples shouldn't be spending on their bachelor/bachelorette and the bridal party shouldn't be spending all they have on them too.

It's not an easy question, but everyone needs to be considerate of one and other. Discussing these things beforehand with are also important.

View quoted message

That is very considerate of you. It is a hard question though.

That’s a very good question. This was my main reason why I did not want to have a bridal party, but because my sisters insisted, I took it upon myself to make sure they are not spending a lot of money.


I made sure the dresses and shoes that they/I were choosing was not expensive. They did their own makeup and hair.
The bachelorette party was prepared by my MOH (sister). I made sure I brought the shirts, sashes and alcohol for the weekend away. But it really depends on the activities you want to do for them or what they should be able to pay for.

There's no hard rules. Typically, a couple that's considerate will take into account their bridal party's financial situation and personal circumstances. That being said, people who get asked to be part of a bridal party should really sort out the money stuff before saying yes.

If a bride is dictating that everyone in the party is to get make up and hair done by a professional artist, that's something that she should pay for.

As for bachelor/ette parties, I'm of the opinion that couples cannot plan their own bachelor/ette, nor should they set the agenda or expect everyone to bear the cost for one. Getting married does not entitled you to an all-expense vacation of your choice.