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Frequent user July 2019 Ontario

How many meetings is usual for the officiant?

Lucy, on October 28, 2018 at 14:59 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 7

Hi everyone,

How many times did you meet with your officiant prior to your wedding? We met a vendor at a wedding show that seemed really good, but they don't seem as involved as I thought the officiant would be, if that makes sense?

You get a skype/phone meeting before you book anything to get to know each other and then everything is done online until they show up 30 minutes before the ceremony. If you want a second meeting or a rehearsal, they charge you extra. I just can't get my head around not even meeting the person marrying me until I'm at the alter!

I don't think I'm going to end up using these ones, but I don't know if my expectations of actually meeting the person beforehand a couple of times are in line with what other officiants offer.


Latest activity by Brittany, on October 29, 2018 at 14:19
  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
    • Dispute

    We'll meet our officiant at the rehearsal. She's one of the BC government officiants, where it's the set price ($75, plus travel)... so she said right in her FAQ info she sent us that she doesn't do "interviews" or "meetings", if you want to do that, pay for the expensive wedding officiant companies... (They charge hundreds of dollars, but they'll meet you 5 times and answer 20 e-mails if you want them to)

    Essentially, unless it's a religious ceremony, it's pretty normal to have minimal planning with your officiant. Maybe a little back and forth with communicating what you want in the ceremony, but that's it.

    I agree about not meeting your officiant AT the alter, but unless you have a connection with that person (priest, minister, family friend), you don't need to have too much personal time with them, just an open line of communication for what you want in the ceremony.

    • Reply
  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
    • Dispute

    We'll be meeting our officiant this week to go over the basic structure of the ceremony we want and give ideas of vows/extras, etc. Then we meet again to finalise our ceremony 2 months before the wedding (August). In the meantime we are able to text/email her anytime with questions we may have.

    It seems like most officiants want to meet up in person 1-2 before the wedding, and you may also schedule a rehearsal (most charge a fee for this, around $100) but I haven't seen any that don't even meet in person until the wedding, let alone charge for a non-rehearsal meeting! I find you can't really get to know someone over phone/Skype like you can in person.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super July 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
    • Dispute

    Around here, it's usually its 1 or 2 meetings. then a wedding. Our officiant charges to come to the rehearsal (a lot will).

    We did an initial meeting. they talked about how they do the ceremony and some examples/stuff they did at other ceremonies. to give us ideas etc.

    We are going to meet her 1-2 months before the wedding to finalize order/what we want. and she creates our ceremony timeline and sends us a copy (so we can do the rehearsal ourselves...but we have a wedding coordinator that will help with that).

    • Reply
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute

    This seems pretty standard to me - we will be using my FH's uncle but the people we had been looking at were the same as what you are describing. The only reason for them to meet up with you more is if you want it to be more personalized which will cost extra. As well the extra cost for the rehearsal is normal too. I would say that as long as they don't expect you to have payed for everything before the day of - then it's fine. Otherwise I would be too concerned about being ripped off.

    • Reply
  • Tatiana
    Expert April 2018 Ontario
    Tatiana ·
    • Dispute

    We met with our officiant a few times before the ceremony. We discussed vows and how the ceremony would be like. Also we did a rehearsal a few days before our ceremony.

    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    We met our officiant 2 times only before the day itself. First time being the contract and what packages have vows we wanted and poems to go through. Closing announcement of being pronounced as final detail.

    Emails were sent otherwise to know if anything was needed apart from the information provided.
    • Reply
  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
    • Dispute
    If you don’t get a good feeling about how involved they will be my advice is to search for someone else.
    We just booked our officiant about a month ago. We met him for the first time and the meeting was about an hour where he basically told us he was available whenever we needed him. There would be one or 2 final meetings where we go through the ceremony to make sure we didn’t miss anything. And then if we want to have a rehearsal it’s $125 which in my opinion is a pretty good price to make sure everyone knows what they are doing the day of.
    But overall? Go with your gut feeling. If they feel like a good fit than go for it and ask if you could have additional meetings etc
    • Reply

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