How involved have your parents been in wedding planning?

My mom has been an absolute life saver. I'm not the most organized person and she's definitely a list and spreadsheet kind of woman. I was super stressed out early on and feeling the pressure of planning a wedding in 10 months and she offered to essentially be my wedding planner. She's researched and did initial vendor screens, booked appointments for me, and even drove me to a decorator and bridal salon over an hour out of town. With all that, she's given her thoughts and recommendations but never any pressure to make certain decisions or do things her way. I definitely feel blessed to have her help. My dad is much less involved (for the best - wedding planning is way out of his element).

My FH's parents have also kept out of most things wedding related beyond adding people to our guest list and making strong "recommendations" to use their pastor as our officiant (they're religious and my family and I aren't). Our venue comes with an officiant who is happy to do a ceremony that fits us as a couple and just add a couple religious pieces in for his parents so we put our foot down on that one. My FH's mom and I have very different taste so I think both of us are happier with her wanting to be more hands off.

My in-laws and dad were pretty hands-off in a good way! My mom was a little more difficult

She really wanted to be involved but we have totally different sense of styles, different wedding experiences, and (not to brag) but I have way more wedding knowledge! I tried to include her as much as possible but she frequently made things more complicated or difficult than they needed to be!

I haven't involved my family members much in any decisions. My FH and I are paying for the wedding 100% and I want the wedding to be completely about us. I am sure that has bothered my mother, sister and FMIL but it's what we have decided.

I will talk to my family about it but I tend not to share every detail. I do want there to be some surpise on the day of, for everyone!

My mum started out upset because she felt like I wasn’t including her in wedding decisions (I just hadn’t made any yet lol) but she feels a lot better now and is fully involved and actually has some of the best ideas and advice. My parents have also agreed to buy my dress, the bridesmaid dresses, and they want to pay for as much of the reception as they can pull off which is more than I expected as they still have 3 young kids.

My fiance’s parents are also involved, a little less in actually making decisions. They’ve also agreed to contribute a large financial amount (Which as this is their third child’s wedding in three years makes me very worried for their financial state after the fact) We’ve got plenty of help and no ones been super pushy on anything yet except his mum wanted to invite his sister’s in laws who we’ve met like 4 or 5 times and don’t particularly like or want there. But due to a miscount when we told her to cut people off we really can’t ask her to cut any more so we’re hoping they make their annual Mexico trip then instead.

Not at all! i wish they were or they seemed to be more interested. my father just complains about the cost of what he is going to wear. (we are paying for the whole wedding) and my mom doesnt live here but she did pay for my dress. Inlaws parents arnt that involved either.

My in laws have been very involved but the wedding will be on their land. Every time I start planning something that has to do with the farm they always say let us take care of that. They’re so sweet and I appreciate all their help. My parents don’t seem to be as involved, my mom does ask lots of questions and maybe it’s just harder for her to do things with my in laws doing so much. My mom isn’t very crafty or tech savvy and that’s ok. My MIL made our invitations, she printed the envelopes and made us stamps with our picture on them. she’s making our wine and wine labels, they’re building us an arc, spraying for mosquitoes, ensuring we have washrooms and so on. His aunty also has a green house down the road from the farm and is helping with some flowers. I feel so happy and blessed to be joining their family with all the support they’ve already given us!

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My parents and I clashed over the guest list early on, but thankfully that was the worst of it! I was freaking out about how many people they wanted to invite and that I had never even met some of their guests!

We hashed it out though and they made it clear they were comfortable with the additional potential expense of their guests, and I made it clear just how expensive each additional guest can be! It's not just the base food and drink cost, but every person is another table setting and chair and escort card and invitation and favor, and on and on... The budget and guest list can get out of control so quickly!

My parents and MOH are 2 hours away from me so I'm doing it all. But i love it this way because I could plan it the way I invision my day would be. I do asked if they got any suggestion or if i need help I asked them. I also tell them what have i planned so they are in the loop. They also made my guest list so they have control of that.

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Too funny! 😂 That's so specific!!

My mum and stepdad were really helpful throughout the whole thing. My mum did so many things with me when planning the wedding (appointments, coffee dates about ideas, wedding show etc). My in-laws were also very involved which was nice. My uncle and his wife were also very helpful and as they were hosting the wedding that was really awesome! Everyone had their ideas but they knew that ultimately my husband and I made the choices.

My mom has been wonderfully helpful going with me to appointments and giving me advice/suggestions with tough wedding decisions. My dad just tells me to have a nice wedding, and my future in-laws have been very hands-off but that’s also because they live 1.5 hours away and we don’t get to see them that often.

Both of our dads have been completely hands off! Both moms have been helpful when needed. My mom will be growing flowers in a large royal blue flower pot she has (one of my colours!) She will be making an adjustment to my veil (her old one from the 80s so there is an attached headpiece that needs to come off!).

My fiance's mom has offered to grow flowers for us which will save us a ton! It was her suggestion to grow them which was amazing of her!

My mom isn't comfortable with the whole big wedding just because she has never had one and it's not something she has ever really been to either. My dad is super excited and will store things at his house and ask questions but he doesn't want to get too involved in the planning. My fiancé's dad is the same as my dad and his mom doesn't like me much so she only asks him about wedding stuff and after he has told her several times to talk to me about her ideas she has given up. Overall our parents aren't really involved.

My parents haven't been involved with anything. My mom came with me to pick out my dress and that was it. His parents have been involved with a lot of the planning though.

So far my dad and step mom have been the most involved, we went dress shopping together and they paid for me. But my mom and my fiance's parents are going to be really involved because we live in BC and the wedding is where they are in Ontario so they will be helping a lot!

Mine are appropriately involved. I'm fortunate that between my mother/stepfather, dad and groom's parents, the expense of the wedding will be covered... but unlike some 'horror stories', I don't feel like they are pulling the "we're paying for it so we have a say" card (yet!).

They express concerns, and give advice, but so far we haven't felt pressured to do something we aren't comfortable with. The only thing my mom has "demanded" is certain, more distant, relatives be invited, but she agreed to extend the budget to accommodate them (so that I wasn't making compromises in the budget for people she wanted to invite).

We are still 10 months away though, with much planning to come, so we will see!!

I think i have been super lucky with how great our parents have been. They are involved but not controlling. They have all contributed to the wedding, even without us asking. My parents bought my dress/alterations as well as contributed to the reception food/bev costs so that we could include some of our extended family. My FH's parents have paid for our photographer and my FMIL paid for an accessory for my dress that we all loved.

I have taken my mom and FMIL to my dress fitting as well as flower appointments as i want them to feel included. I worry that i just get all tunnel vision and do everything myself and i don't want to rob them of the experience of this.

Again, i've been super lucky with no drama and nothing but support.

Totally hands off from both sides of the family, which actually works really well with my fiance and I. We want to be the ones in control of certain aspects. My future MIL had some opinions that didn't really make sense (e.g. we should get chair covers because she thought the chairs they provide won't have any cushioning?? Which is totally false). But in the end, it was always up to us.

This has been a pretty hard area for us actually in some ways. Our parents are both divorced which also makes things trickier.

My dad has been fantastic and I would say fairly involved (though I think he'd be involved more if he could). He also offered to pay about half of the wedding costs which was shocking and SO appreciated. I can't even fathom how to thank him enough. We've involved him in helping to pick music, and the venue tasting and the wine choosing!

My mom has been pretty good. I talk to her about most of the wedding stuff but she can be a bit negative at times (not to be mean or anything though). She's been pretty involved as she helped pick our invites (she then paid for them which was great), she also did the dress shopping with me and paid for my dress (also super appreciated).

My fiance's Dad was happy for us, but he's not the most involved dad in the world. When we got engaged he told us several times he'd help financially but then never actually ponied up any money or firmly offered to pay. He also never asks us about the wedding.

My fiance's mum overall doesn't give a shit about our wedding. (harsh but theres some annoyance there). She's been the most hurtful parent as she is the one we have previously seen the most but just hasn't been happy for us. My fiance now feels like his other siblings are far more important to him as she's done nothing but put our wedding down and made issues about his siblings (ie. I didn't pick his sister to by my bridesmaid as we aren't close, and now apparently our wedding day will be the saddest day ever according to his mum). We don't talk to her about the wedding really and my FH has actually avoided seeing her in general which is heartbreaking.

Here is a short story: My parents share ideas with me and they really think they have the best ideas ever when they don't🙈 For exemple, my father knows a Elvis Presley impersonator and he would pay for him To be at my wedding (if my fiancé and I want). We like Elvis music but not for the whole night haha. I mean, it is a wedding, not a show haha. I want To dance on all kinds of music. I gently told him that we have a dj on mind but he insists... but I will continue To say no🙈

I still think they are really nice sharing their ideas with me. They want to help and that means a lot.

My parents and FH parents have been completely hands off. They ask how it's going but haven't asked for any details or to help with anything.

For the wedding party, I actually like it. It makes it super easy for my FH and I to chose everything we want and love.

For pre wedding parties like engagement and bridal shower, it has sucked. I have had to plan everything. Although I love planning, it would have been nice for someone to plan and pay for the parties. Were paying for everything on the wedding and we've paid for our engagement and my bridal shower. The only person who has contributed is my dad. He paid for my wedding dress.

My mom has known for 10 months we are getting married. She told me the other day she had to use the $300 she saved up and is not sure how much she can give now. It's just upsetting as I would have expected more out of the parents. Atleast $500. Iean, you had almost a year to save!

My FH's family is clueless to everything lol they didn't even know what a bridal shower was haha.

Mine have been there asking so many questions and loving every part of it. His parents not so much. They think I should wait till next year. I told my FH that we could wait to plan until September since its 2 years away. Mine always ask when we come over what we want to do who we want in the wedding party all that. Each parents want certain people to be invited though