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Melissa
Beginner October 2023 British Columbia

Hot take: No bar

Melissa, on October 29, 2022 at 22:20 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 9
So for our wedding (Oct 2023) we're doing no bar. We're going to have white and red wine available at the tables but no alcohol service beyond that. I don't drink at all, my fiance and I definitely aren't partiers and I've been to too many weddings ruined by drunks.
Has anyone else gone this route before?
We don't intend this to be an all night rager by any means, I'm looking at about 6-11 from pre ceremony to the evening send off.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Malyssa, on November 1, 2022 at 12:42
  • Malyssa
    Featured October 2022 Alberta
    Malyssa ·
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    I see no issues with this if you know your crowd. Not everyone is big drinkers and you can still have a good time without alcohol.

    We knew this wouldn't work for us, but we also werent about to pay for everyones drinks so we had a cash bar and bought 2 drinks per person.

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  • Jenn
    Devoted August 2023 Ontario
    Jenn ·
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    Completely get keeping the wine if you don't get a discount for not! Sounds like it will be a nice, elegant and chill night Smiley smile

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  • Melissa
    Beginner October 2023 British Columbia
    Melissa ·
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    I definitely get that, and I know people like that, but I don't think the people we're inviting are really "that" crowd (the need to get flasks from the car crowd, they're more the go for a "smoke" crowd, which I'm totally fine with lol)
    The house wine comes with the package I'm getting so I'm not going to turn it down, and by declining it I don't save any money so I'm fine with the wine being spread around. If someone has a few extra glasses of wine vs an open bar is a big difference in my book. An open bar says let's party, vs wine at the tables says this is a nice dinner and celebration. It's only going to be about 50 close family and friends so I don't expect much fuss over the lack of alcohol and we're not having a big dance party after the food is done. I'm going to have someone playing piano for a very chill vibe through the evening
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  • Jenn
    Devoted August 2023 Ontario
    Jenn ·
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    As everyone here has said, it's really up to you. However, I have been to weddings where alcohol has been limited/not available, and guests just kept going out to their cars, flasks, etc., to drink - sadly, if people want to drink to get drunk, they will find a way.

    Just try and be as clear as possible about your decision and maybe some of your thinking, so it may deter some of those who may still try and drink..

    I also agree with Hank re: House wine - there may be a few tables who drink it, but most go untouched. I work for a wedding caterer on the side, and I see it all the time - when the tables ask me for another bottle, I normally grab it from one of the other tables, so as not to open a new bottle

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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    You two set the event as you like with the drinking limits and no bar decision. The direct payments your making is coming from you, then no one has the final word apart from yourselves. Family members disputing this factor can decide to pay if they decide to take part of the payment. A lot of weddings have wines served on tables apart from the bar.

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  • Carine
    Featured September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
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    It's your wedding, feel free to do what you want, plus people who know you will understand.

    We are not having an open bar just for this exact reason. My friend had an open bar and well I hate to ask her how much her dad had to pay because the groomsman was the frat type of guys and could barely stand and talk by the time the speeches were up. Then by the end of the night the bridal party left the bride and groom to clean up, I was nice of a friend to stick around and help. But having an open bar it looked more like a night club than a wedding. TO each their own. I feel by not having that open bar option people will still drink just not get wasted and can still enjoy the night. will you have different options for the non-wine drinkers?

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    If you can get an alcoholic punch in lieu of the wine, I would opt for that. No one likes house wine. People drink it for the sake of drinking it.

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  • Melissa
    Beginner October 2023 British Columbia
    Melissa ·
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    I wouldnt say it's a dry event, just no bar in addition to the house wine on the tables which is included in the package with the venue. This information will be included on the invites and website. Two bottles of wine between 6 people over 4-5 hours is plenty enough for people to have a drink with their meal but no one will be getting drunk. The venue also offers the option of punch but we are undecided on whether to get that with or without alcohol. I have no issue with alcohol itself, just drunk people lol
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    As long as you make it absolutely clear that this is a dry event, I see no problem with this.

    I wouldn't even bother with the wine if you want an alcohol free event. Unless you spring for the good stuff, it'll just go to waste. And having it feels like you're catering to the type of behaviour that you want to avoid in the first place.

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