Help!!! stressing....fh seems to think things aren't a 'big deal' ?!?

Can you enlist his mother or someone else in his family to get him to help you? Any time he doesn't seem to be moving on something (usually something I've asked to run past his family), I just bypass him and ask his mom when he's there. He knows I'm going to do it and some things just need to get done!

I think you have to ask him what he wants and if he wants a say in X like the DJ, then he needs to be involved. If it's less stressful for you to not bring him to the meetings, then don't. If he doesn't have an opinion, he doesn't need to be there.

I'm really sorry, I would be very stressed if I was flat out asking my DH for help and he refused. Have you told him how it makes you feel when he won't help? Can you sit down with him sometime and very calmly explain that you are so excited for the wedding but are getting overwhelmed with all the things you still need to do, and you were hoping he could take on a few of the items on your to-do list. Maybe he doesn't have an interest in the DJ meeting but there is something else he is more interested in and could help you with. As for "all I need to do is show up" that's pretty unfair, it is his wedding too and he is the cohost along with you, so he really should contribute to the planning. And as for the videographer, if having a wedding video is important to you then I absolutely would go ahead and book that vendor - 500 isn't too much in the grand scheme of a wedding, it gets an item off your to-do list, and it means none of your guests have to worry about coming early to set up and missing out on just enjoying watching your wedding, plus you're likely to get a better quality product when you go with professional equipment.

Good luck!

I'm sorry that it seems he isn't really interested but I have found out that his attitude of "all I have to do is show up" seems to be pretty common. I am lucky enough to have someone who is willing to participate in planning with me and that has been really awesome! If you know your budget and can work within it, I don't see why you cannot just book things for the wedding and then let him know what is going on once you've established a connection with a vendor.

I've discovered that doing things without saying anything to my FH is the way to go. I got a lot of flack for DJ's, photographer, other details, so I just did it myself and didn't say anything till afterwards. In order to reduce your stress, do it yourself or get bridesmaids and groomsmen to help. In the end, you'll save yourself a big blow out.