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Jowell
Newbie July 2022 Ontario

Having a hard time

Jowell, on January 15, 2022 at 15:46 Posted in Plan a wedding 2 6
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So the pandemic hasn’t been great on my mental health and social anxiety. I’m so nervous about this wedding coming up in 6 months.


I’ve got my dress, the venue, the bridesmaids gifts, sparklers..table numbers even..
But haven’t met with a wedding coordinator.
I’ve paid $5k rental fee but main down payment is at the end of this month and im getting cold feet on doing the whole sha-bang. I keep thinking, I wish we eloped came back and bought a house instead. I don’t care to be the center of attention or all the wedding formalities..
I’m having a hard time getting excited..I have few close friends that I rarely see, and not close to extended family either. Feel like I’m in a rut and considering selling my wedding contract - my partner is supportive - either decision.
Feeling lost…can anyone relate? Advice? Experience?

6 Comments

Latest activity by Christina, on February 5, 2022 at 15:40
  • Christina
    Newbie May 2022 British Columbia
    Christina ·
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    Yes I can def relate! Our wedding is coming up in May, been in the works since 2019 due to Covid. We had a legal ceremony in Dec 2019 for other reasons and were planning the reception/celebration for 2020, and then 2021, and now 2022. This whole time we've been thinking "We've already done what we HAVE to do, why are we dropping $10K on a dinner party?" lol

    Honestly, I wanted to pull out so many times. When C-19 started I said 'I don't want to host an event where I can't safely hug and dance each and every one of my guests.'

    Never in a million years would I think we are still here 2 years later. It has been so hard to get excited about something when you don't even know how you will be able to celebrate it when the time comes (currently our provincial restrictions allow NO receptions, wedding ceremonies only). I have had a few friends and family message me saying they are getting excited about having something to look forward to and that has made me feel a little better. Hubby and I just agreed that we weren't doing any more reschedules or postponements (i've had my dress hanging in the closet for 2 years and I WILL wear it lol).

    At the end of the day you need to do whats right for you. If you're in a position where you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel then don't add the additional pressure of wedding planning. Maybe you have a 5 year renewal and a big party then?

    Hubby and I were always planning on a small event (65ppl was our guest list before covid) so the fact that smaller weddings are more popular now it has taken a huge amount of pressure off to have a big event.

    Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you. Don't concern yourself with the money, or hurting peoples feelings, or cancelling plans or any of that. This is YOUR day.

    Good luck xx

    C

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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    Don't get discouraged because of Covid. It has set back a lot of couples along with yourselves. The best thing is you can have the wedding as small as the count is allowed at the venue and have another celebration of your anniversary in a year or two with the full guest list if wanted. Your not alone in feeling down with all the push backs of planning and if you're happy with the vendors and have everything you need, then your set and go easy on the rest. Don't cancel anything just because this whole thing is happening. Every couple is working their way through it and making the best of the situation.

    • Reply
  • BreddGar
    Curious March 2023 Greater London
    BreddGar ·
    • Dispute

    Any person before the wedding will be nervous. Therefore, you are not alone. You have already taken a step towards a new life and do not give up. Let it be as it should be.

    • Reply
  • Tunisha
    Featured October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
    • Dispute
    Hello Jowell,
    If you don’t mind me asking… what is your day going to look like and what is your budget?

    For my hubby and I. We wanted a small wedding since we were going to get our house 3 days after our wedding. We just had 1 venue where we did both ceremony and reception. We had about 56-60 people in total. Close family and friends. I am similar to you, did not care for the attention, but I did not want to regret not having my day or saying in 5 years we will have it big. So we proceeded with the plan and it turned out amazing. I know all the work and everything you plan is just for a day — few hours and it’s all over… you married your SO!! Also, if you want to elope, think about that as a plan B and the process for that as well. Think about both with the pros and cons? That way, it will keep your calm to know you have options?
    I am sending you positive vibes!! 💕🙏🏾
    • Reply
  • Marsha
    Frequent user July 2022 Ontario
    Marsha ·
    • Dispute
    I can relate. I an also getting married in 6mths. Last weel i was so tired of the hamster wheel we are all on in Ontario witg restrictions that i felt to just run away and elope as well.


    But this morning i woke up and said this is happening. So we have a plan B list.
    • Reply
  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute

    I will point out the positive - because you're not so overly concerned with how your wedding plays out, you can at least have peace of mind knowing that you'll enjoy the day regardless of what restrictions come up. That regardless if you have 20, 50, or 100 - you'll have a nice day.

    I will suggest that before you sign with any additional vendor or pay additional deposits that you have a good conversation with them and ask about covid contingencies in the event of restrictions or shut downs (and have it signed in writing). Especially with the venue. Say you're only allowed a certain number that's below what your original contract states, you don't want to be forced to spend that amount if you're not allowed to have that many people.

    Good luck!

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